(Closed) Our texts.. Please tell me what you think. Long conversation ahead!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would not have this sort of conversation via text.  Secondly, I would be annoyed to be waiting 2 years too that I might rethink my plans with that person.

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Adults talk about these things. Stop texting.

Post # 6
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

He might want to sleep but its obvious you want to talk.  Call him.  

Post # 7
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why were you texting a conversation like this?

But it’s just that you could have made it stop by asking me to spend my life with you and I have a hard time understanding why you have not done that yet if you really do know that’s what you want

Think about this. I’m not trying to be harsh, just honest. He’s saying he’s not ready and he’d like you to live in the moment and not worry about marriage all the time. And your response is that he could get you to stop asking if he’d propose? I’m not sure you understand what he’s saying.

If you’re really ready to get married and he isn’t, tell him where you’re at. Maybe you need to move on if you aren’t on the same page about this. But talk in person from now on.

Post # 8
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

trust me….do not have this conversation via text. seriously a bad idea. he said a lot of hurtful things if you ask me. if my Boyfriend or Best Friend said those things I would seriously reconsider our situation. it sounds like your Boyfriend or Best Friend is not ready right now or anytime soon…are you willing to wait?

Post # 9
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If he shuts down when you want to talk about it, then I think he’s not mature enough to propose.

Post # 11
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

wait you guys are in the same house texting each other?

Post # 12
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

And I’m sorry but people aren’t always ready to do something someone else is.

I think it’s pretty clear he’s not ready. He’s trying to tell you this. It sounds like he wants to be with you but not get married yet. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, but it sounds like he doesn’t have a timeline on when he’ll be ready, and you need to decide if you’re willing to wait for him.

I don’t think he meant he sees your whole relationship as a fight about marriage, it sounds more recent. If you want to stay with him regardless, back off on the topic. Even my Fiance gets annoyed when I go on too much about wedding planning, and I know he’s excited. Sometimes it just gets to be too much at once.

ETA: Oh, and the texting. First, you can take from this that you should not ever type a text you don’t mean to send. Think it in your head or write it on paper if you must. Also, when you did send it by accident, you should’ve gone into the room he was in and continued the conversation in person.

Post # 13
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Honestly? He is not ready for marriage.  It might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Post # 14
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Some people date for the life experience and love, others date to find the one and get married. If he says he loves you, LET THE MARRIAGE THING GO. If he dropped down on one knee right now, would you honostly feel like it was authentic and meant to be????

Relationships are NOT about expectations. Enjoy the present, you have so much to be thankful for.

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It sounds like he was in the shiny new happy relationship mode when he was talking marriage the first time. But now maybe things are cooling off, reality is setting in and he feels pressured. Drop it for awhile.

Post # 16
Member
14443 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It doesnt sound like he’s ready and like he said, you just make him feel like you want a marriage out of him and not to enjoy the journey and life you have together. If you can be patient and not hound him about getting married and just be in a great realtionship, it’ll probably come. You said you guys talked about it early on months into the relationship, obviously he saw a great person he could see spending his life with.  That didnt mean he was ready to do it at that very second.  But the more he feels badgered about getting married, the less he probably sees the great girl he first met – he sees a marriage focused crazy one.

On the other hand, I was with my ex for almost 7 years, and I was ‘waiting’ for about 2.  After we broke up, we talked and tried to work it out again and I asked him why he let me wait for so long (and have all the fustration and insecurities that come along wiht waiting) and he told me… I was waiting to make sure.  7 years… and he was still trying to make sure.  Sorry, I’m not exactly sure what the point of that was, except, if that is really what you want, and you dont see him proposing in the timeframe you’d like, maybe its time to move on.

The topic ‘Our texts.. Please tell me what you think. Long conversation ahead!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors