- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Backstory… We talked about marriage just several months into our relationship, agreed on a date and everything.. he seemed to be really excited about it.. then it didn’t happen, and didn’t.. Well over two years later I’m still “waiting”.
Me: So.. Be honest and answer me.. Why have you not proposed? You won’t hurt my feelings or piss me off at all. Just trying to communicate and I want to know your feelings. Is it bc you felt like I pestered you.. Or your job? Or did your feelings change? I am just sooo dumbfounded and I just want to know how YOU feel deep down. I mean I was ready to say I do to you a long time ago;) why werent you?
Me: Shit. I pressed send on accident… I still hadnt even decided if I was going to send or delete it.
Him: You don’t let it go. Don’t know how many times I asked if we could just be us, in the present, and you cant let it go. Your so infatuated with it that it has really just put me off. And I’m sorry but people aren’t always ready to do something someone else is. And if there is any type of love, that decision should be respaected. And if that person says they love them and want to be with them, it should be believed. Nothing keeps me here with you, I choose to be here with you but you just don’t grasp that concept, if I can’t give you what you want then leave, but I’m tired of hearing how you don’t think I don’t like or love you. You push me away with things I kindly ask we set aside, and they never do.
Me: I just feel so down on myself. Like something must be wrong with me if you used to want it and now you don’t. It makes me so [email protected]$ing insecure and I hate that my mind is constantly thinking about it. I can 100% understand how you feel and why. I just feel like those convesations are always set aside and that’s why I keep at it…. Like I said let me know when IS a good time to talk about it so I dont keep bringing it up. Just feel like I’m in the dark about the next year of our lives and what our priorities should be as a couple
Him: I never said I still didn’t but I’m pretty sure I explained why it hasn’t happened. You just went to much for me even when unasked you to slow down and enjoy the journey, now the journey just seem like one big battle over marriage Our priorities as a couple should be us as a couple and us as individuals.
Me: It makes me really sad you feel that way.
Him: I’ve told you this more then once, I dint know what else to tell you
Me: To me our journey has been dogs and photos and a business and nature and dreaming about acres of land and cooking damn good food and having parties. And more. It just kills me you say our journey has seemed like a battle over marriage :/
Him: They are part of the journey that I love, but during all that you never let the marriage thing go, please listen were I am coming from
Me: I am honestly trying I promise you that … And I can understand.. But it’s just that you could have made it stop by asking me to spend my life with you and I have a hard time understanding why you have not done that yet if you really do know that’s what you want
Him: I’m tired I’m going to sleep. Pretty sure i answered that I’n previous texts. Just cause I haven’t doesn’t mean I don’t love you and that’s how you mKe me feel. Goodnight, myname.