(Closed) Our timeline means dating for 11-12 years before engagement [long]

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It might make sense to explore options for going to the same graduate school, so that you can get married sooner and not have to do the long-distance thing.

Post # 4
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@poeticallygreen:  I am the last one to say to you give up your grad school plans to follow HIM. No siree, I would not do that.

But let me ask you: once you are through school and married, how does the long distance thing change?

Will you move for his job? Will he move for your job? Are both of you going to be so eminantly employable that you don’t have to worry about this? (and the latter is certainly possible.)

Post # 6
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@poeticallygreen:  We have friends that are getting married after 11 years, got engaged at about 10.  They started dating in high school and are just wonderful together.  It is no less special because they have been together so long.

Post # 7
Member
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with PP… It might be worth it to attend the same grad school to stay in the same area!

Post # 8
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Everyone has their own timeline and only you can say what is right for you and your partner. That said, I am a grad school bee. We were just dating the first year of my masters program and got engaged between the first and second year. Now I am in a Ph.D program that will take 3.5 years to complete. It is looking like we are going to be long distance, even after we get married this October. Yes, it may seem silly to some that we are going to be married but living in sepreate locations for two years but we want to be married and it works for us. I would throw timelines out the window and just do what is best for the both of you. 

Post # 9
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First of all, this sounds like something that you guys have talked through and come to a very ogical conclusion, so never ever feel like you’re not good enough to be his wife!!!

For me, personally, the difference between girlfriend and fiance has been pretty minimal. Except that we spend all our free time wedding planning these days. I think that the big reason for that is that we’d been dating 5 years an living together for 1.5 when we got engaged. We had also been having lots of talks about expectations for our lives in the future prior to the engagement, so I was already in the zone of planning a future together. That’s me.

I think long dating, long engagements, and quickie weddings are all good options! If it’s your family that is going to be so gung ho about a big wedding – would you be willing to let your mom or sister or somebody do the majority of the planning? I have grad student friends who did this. She’s Pakistanii and there’s all these traditions and a nice  wedding was important to her family. So her mom and sister planned almost everything. The joke is they just showed up a few days before the wedding and asked to be pointed in the right direcction. But it’s honestly not that far from the truth. I asked  her things about the wedding nd her most common responce was “I dunno – mom put it togeher –  but isn’t it great/yummy/pretty?”

The topic ‘Our timeline means dating for 11-12 years before engagement [long]’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors