- 5 years ago
I’ve been lurking around the boards for sometime and decided to join this wonderful, supportive community.
On to seeking advice: I understand that there’s no such thing as too long or too short on going from dating to engaged – depends on the couple, but I recently realized that, if we follow our timeline, we’ll have been dating for 11-12 years before getting engaged! (2013 is year 7)
Here’s the backstory: Boyfriend or Best Friend and I went to middle and high school together and only became friends + started dating after graduation. We are the same age. Dating officially began with a 3-year LDR from 2007-2010 – our last 3 years of college. We have now been in the same city for 2 years, living together for 1 year. He is (to my surprise) a perfect fit for me.
We have discussed a timeline – a very financially responsible one. Although a big wedding is likely (I’m south asian and weddings are like big family reunions), the main hold-up is graduate school. We plan to wait until we’ve both graduated from (MBA) programs. 2 reasons for this. 1. both our families are very education oriented and will likely see getting married before getting accepted to grad school as irresponsible, and 2. we’d prefer to get married and then stay together, not go into another LDR. However, to put this in perspective, I haven’t even applied yet, so earliest graduation date is 2016; he plans to apply next year, so 2017 graduation, which means a 2017 engagement / 2018 ceremony at the earliest.
Recently, expecting a 2017 engagement (that is contingent on a graduate school acceptance) has started to feel a bit ridiculous. At some point, especially IN grad school, where we’ll probably be in an LDR again, I’m going to get sick of being the “forever girlfriend, not good enough to be a wife”.
The bottom line questions:
Would it be best to do something unusual? e.g. have a long engagement or plan a wedding quickly after we’re both accepted? I’m open to creative suggestions.
Also, bees, how different is being a girlfriend vs. fiance vs. wife?
None of my close friends (24 y.o. +) are married, so I don’t know about anything this. After 11 years of dating him, will I be treated like a second-rate partner, “just a girlfriend”?
Thanks ladies (and gents!)