Our vacation has been hijacked. NEED ADVICE

posted 5 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
6155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would cancel EVERY. DAMN. THING. And mom (and sister and brother- whoever’s was in on this plot) would probably get told off. She lied (or obscured facts) and what she presented to you is not what is happening so you are not obligated to stick to the plan.

I would raise hell. People playing games like that and taking folks’ money under false pretenses makes me really angry. They would be hearing about this one.

The other option is to still tell them off so they know how fucked up what they did is. You only go if you get the biggest suite and you don’t do things with them on the trip unless you really want to. 

Post # 5
Member
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I would absolutely cancel this as soon as possible before it’s too late. In the future I wouldn’t allow them to book anything for me. Man, that’s so frustrating! I’m sorry bee!

Post # 6
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Did she actually have a discount code or was it just cheaper cause more people are paying for it? And $400 cheaper, does that mean the other adults going are only paying $400. 

Bortom line. She lied and manipulated the entire situation. She never consulted you! She told you they wouldn’t accept two reservations for two rooms and then, surprise it’s a 2 bedroom suite! Without your authorization booked something on someone else’s credit card and freaked out you hadn’t payed within 3 hours of being notified. Then, Everyone’s going, you can’t back out cause they can’t afford it without you. 

Absolutely do not go! This sounds like the making of a horrible vacation. 4 kids and 4 adults in a two bedroom suite sound terrible and with people like these… I’d rather stay home. 

Post # 9
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

This would not sit right with me at all. I think it was generous enough that you said that his parents could come on the trip, but then his Mum running with that was unacceptable. If you can’t cancel yourselves then you should ask them for your money back and explain to them why. 

Post # 10
Member
725 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

futuremrsmoore :  Have you tried talking to the hotel yet? Even if they say no refunds maybe if you spoke with the manager they’d be willing to let you refund everything and you could personally rebook a room for just yourselves? 

Post # 11
Member
930 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Call it your stupid tax and stay home; it will be more pleasant.

Post # 12
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

You’ll end up spending much more than that $500 if you decide to go.

“she mentions the fact that it would take all 4 families splitting the cost in order for everyone to be able to go because his brother and sister “can’t pay a dime more””

 

Save yourself the emotional and mental stress and find another hotel and plan another vacation!

Post # 13
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Get on board with your husband. Call it a wash, find another place to stay and do the things you guys wanted to do. If you don’t your going to be just a miserable as you are now and it won’t be fair to the kids. It’s their vacation also. Your mil betrayed you big time. Take back your vacation now before she thinks it’s o.k to keep ruining your future plans. Nip it in the bud now.

Post # 14
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I’d cancel and then bill his mother the $500, also due immediately, for lying and pushing this entire situation on you without your permission. If she refuses, consider it an investment in your future. 

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

I have a few relatives like this (on both sides of the family) who take over everything- even if it wasn’t their event or holiday to take over. It’s a work in progress dealing with this for sure but the main thing is to not let them keep getting away with it. Their feathers get ruffled, but that’s only because they’ve become so accustomed to having everything their own way that they’ve lost sight of what is reasonable or fair or over-stepping boundaries. 

Not only did your Mother-In-Law take charge when it was your vacation in the first place, she made unacceptable changes without consulting you. This is what I would suggest as a compromise between you not wanting to lose the deposit and your husband being willing to lose the deposit:

Speak with the family asap and be calm (so hard when the situation is frustrating!) but firm and honest. Let them know that this was YOUR vacation that you planned and that as such you have your own plans and don’t want to follow someone else’s itinerary. You can do some things together of course- but not togetherness 24/7 and not things you hadn’t planned on or wanted to do. The people who take charge always assume that things will be done their way and that’s just not going to fly- even if the family had all planned this trip together from the start, a few people shouldn’t get to dictate the plans for everyone.

I would also insist that sleeping arrangements be settled in advance. It needs to be clear that you and your fiance and baby get the larger room, both because you have an infant and because this was your trip. If Mother-In-Law hadn’t factored different pricing for everyone to reflect who is staying in the master suite or the standard room, this is unfortunately going to add to the issues at hand, but this is MIL’s doing not yours. 

IF this is going to derail into family arguments and if you can’t be assured in advance that you get the suite that will accommodate having a baby with you and if they don’t recognize your right to have your own itinerary, then I would not go even if it meant losing the deposit. And next time your Mother-In-Law asks to be included on a family holiday, sorry but no. This may sound harsh but she’s brought it on herself with her entitled and pushy behaviour. The only way to curb this behaviour – or at least have it affect you less- is for her to realize she can’t get away with it.  

ETA sorry for the long novel of a response, but this is an issue I can definitely relate to. 

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