- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2011
Lordy, I feel like I’m going to get slammed for this one, but this is totally a vent. I’m not asking for advice–I’m not going to the wedding in question, so again it’s a moot point. Purely a vent.
I’ve been invited to yet another destination wedding (this is…number 5 I think in my life) in Costa Rica. I’m totally not against destination weddings. I’ve been to 2 and I had a lot of fun at both. It’s not the idea of destintation weddings in and of themselves; it’s literally this line that I can’t stand: “Oh, but it can be a vacation for you too!” I just got it from the Costa Rica couple and my ears steamed.
I get it–yes, ultimately, if I go to Costa Rica for someone’s wedding, it’s recreation, it’s relaxation, and I’m spending enough time there to make it a vacation. But let’s call a spade a spade. It’s NOT my vacation; my attendance at someone’s destination wedding is not a gift to myself. A gift to myself is choosing where I want to go, when I want to go, and who I want to spend time with while I’m there. Attendance at a d-wedding is something I do for the couple more than I do for me and it really sort of should be acknowledged as such. The whole line “it’s your vacation too” to me kind of downplays the fact that I’m a) taking time off from my own (busy) life and b) that I removed THOUSANDS of dollars from my REAL vacation fund (seriously–I’ve been trying to get to China for years now). I mean, it’s kind of like asking someone to buy you a car and then saying, “Oh, but I’ll totally give you rides” (okay, maybe not the best analogy, but I can’t think of a perfect one).
Now, again, don’t get me wrong–if I make the decision to spend the money to go to a d-wedding, then I’m committed and I’m happy to do so. But let me be happy in doing this for people I care about and honor the gesture that way; don’t turn it into something that is suddenly self-serving for me.
Okay, rant over.