(Closed) our wedding their money…=/

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What would you do?
    Just lay it out, it's you wedding who cares if you parents are ticked off at you let them be mad. : (23 votes)
    43 %
    Suck it up, don't have the reception you and you FI always imagined : (20 votes)
    37 %
    Other explain : (11 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I voted before I saw that the’re paying for it. Sorry, If they’re paying for the wedding it’s their decision whether or not they’re going to host a reception with drinking. I say you either pay for it yourselves or suck it up and have a dry reception.

    Post # 4
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Offer to fund the booze, if your folks don’t go for it, throw yourselves an after party.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1401 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Can you guys cover the cost of the alcohol separately?

    Post # 8
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    I would pay for the alcohol separately ……..but you’re always going to run into stuff like this when someone else is holding the purse strings.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    I would just talk to your parents. A wedding is a celebration, and many people like to celebrate with a glass of wine or champagne. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be doing shots and dancing on tables all night.

    Do your parents have a particular reason they’re against alcohol? Religion or cultural?

    Post # 11
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I said “other”, here’s why:

    1) it is YOUR wedding and it should be what you envision. If alcohol at the reception is something that is very important for the both of you, then you should have it and not settle for something that will not make you happy.  However…

    2) You ard your fiance want to save money, and are making your parents pay for everything. Therefore, your parents have EVERY RIGHT to refuse alcohol at the wedding, or to include/omit anything they want. It is wrong to force them to pay for something they do not believe in.

     

    My answer: Discuss it with your parents. The options are to A) Admit that since you aren’t paying for anything, it is their choice, and yes, you will need to “suck it up”.  B) Maybe a compromise can be reached with your parents: a couple bottles of wine at every table, or perhaps a signature cocktail? No heavy drinking. C) Work something out with your fiance, where you will help split the costs a bit with your parents, and pay for the alcohol/bar yourselves.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    My inlaws hold the same beliefs and had I been in your position I would have respected them and not had alcohol. I would discuss it with them and if it’s something you really want; you should cover the cost. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    4 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    It is YOUR wedding so you should be happy. Have a nice, adult conversation with your parents about it. You shouldn’t have to make concessions to make other people happy. However, since they are being so loving and kind as to pay for your wedding, then I think you should foot the bill for the alcohol.

    Post # 16
    Member
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Do you think they would be open to having a cash bar for alcohol?  That way you would put it on the guests to make their own decisions and your parents or you and Fiance are not paying for it.  

    It sounds like they are just really against having alcohol at the event which seems a bit extreme.  I am a vegan and have agreed to have a number of meat dishes at the wedding just because I don’t think a good host has things that only they are into.  

    Personally I’d be really disappointed to go to a wedding where there wasn’t alcohol offered.  

    The topic ‘our wedding their money…=/’ is closed to new replies.

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