Post # 1
Ok so here is my situation…
my Fiance & I drink all of our friends drink. In all honesty we have every intention of having alcohol at our reception…
But my parents are strongly against drinking, in fact they don’t even really know we drink. Well I’m sure my dad does but my mom doesn’t and she’s the..one who would get histerical about it.
So yes, we’re planning a wedding I’m moving on with my life they aren’t going to be able to have much of a say in what I do and don’t do. And once I am married there isn’t a chance I’m going to be worrying about this. I won’t put stuff up when they come over my house to visit like I do now. I do it out of respect for them. But once I am married no it will be a different story.
Anyway…as for the reception..I don’t know what to do or how to bring it up. They are paying for the wedding. The Fiance and I want to help as much as possible but we have less money, and other things to save for, like oh Idk a house.. lol
So I just don’t know what to do…should we just suck it up and not have “beverages” at our reception?
Any suggestions? Anyone had a similar situation and resolved it peacefully?
To clarify the fact that my parents are funding most of the wedding is why it is even a question cause if we were paying for it completely then it wouldnt be a question. We could handle suppling the alcohol but that won’t be my parents issue, not wanting to pay to provide alcohol, it will be the simply fact that it is there. I would say too bad so sad if they weren’t chipping in a dime…but since that’s not the case I just don’t know how to handle it.
So yes, we could pay to provide the alcohol but that won’t make my parents any more ok with it.
Post # 3
I voted before I saw that the’re paying for it. Sorry, If they’re paying for the wedding it’s their decision whether or not they’re going to host a reception with drinking. I say you either pay for it yourselves or suck it up and have a dry reception.
Post # 4
Offer to fund the booze, if your folks don’t go for it, throw yourselves an after party.
Post # 5
@msgraphics: I am down with the idea of an after party….but how do you invite people to that. I heard once is a total no no to do that, like have party some people are invited to and others aren’t…
to clearify the main reason I think my parents would hate it is all of their holier than thou friends would be talking about their hooligan daughter and her barbarian friends for years to come….
which is why I like the after part idea, but would have to pick and choose who knew about it. And yes, I want it to be on my wedding day, not like oh and in two weeks everyone get ready to do this again.
Post # 6
Can you guys cover the cost of the alcohol separately?
Post # 7
@UK Bride: we could easily but it wouldn’t change my parents feelings on it and how pissed they would be
Post # 8
I would pay for the alcohol separately ……..but you’re always going to run into stuff like this when someone else is holding the purse strings.
Post # 9
I would just talk to your parents. A wedding is a celebration, and many people like to celebrate with a glass of wine or champagne. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be doing shots and dancing on tables all night.
Do your parents have a particular reason they’re against alcohol? Religion or cultural?
Post # 10
@Bostongrl25: lol I agree completely, my parents used to drink, even when I was a young child they drank, then they got in church and stopped, it’s religious. I am religious as well, but I just don’t have that conviction I guess.
I would be happy with champagne wine and beer. We don’t need liquor and we don’t want people sloppy drunk at our wedding anyway but yeah..
Post # 11
I said “other”, here’s why:
1) it is YOUR wedding and it should be what you envision. If alcohol at the reception is something that is very important for the both of you, then you should have it and not settle for something that will not make you happy. However…
2) You ard your fiance want to save money, and are making your parents pay for everything. Therefore, your parents have EVERY RIGHT to refuse alcohol at the wedding, or to include/omit anything they want. It is wrong to force them to pay for something they do not believe in.
My answer: Discuss it with your parents. The options are to A) Admit that since you aren’t paying for anything, it is their choice, and yes, you will need to “suck it up”. B) Maybe a compromise can be reached with your parents: a couple bottles of wine at every table, or perhaps a signature cocktail? No heavy drinking. C) Work something out with your fiance, where you will help split the costs a bit with your parents, and pay for the alcohol/bar yourselves.
Post # 12
@ayala88: to clarify…we are not in any way shape or form MAKING my parents pay for anything. We would have a small wedding and do it all ourselves..but my parents want this. They have a million guests they want to invite, believe me. No one is MAKING my parents pay for my wedding.
I don’t mean to sound hostile but I take serious offense to the fact that you assume I am FORCING my parents to pay for my wedding. Wow I am so far from that kind of spolied little brat I don’t ask my parents for anything..ever!
They wanted to.
I also already made it clear that my Fiance and I were more than happy and able to fund any alcohol provided
Other than I all that I agree with what your saying and think that is a very sensible answer.
Sorry but that just rubbed me the wrong way MAJORLY.
Post # 13
My inlaws hold the same beliefs and had I been in your position I would have respected them and not had alcohol. I would discuss it with them and if it’s something you really want; you should cover the cost.
Post # 14
It is YOUR wedding so you should be happy. Have a nice, adult conversation with your parents about it. You shouldn’t have to make concessions to make other people happy. However, since they are being so loving and kind as to pay for your wedding, then I think you should foot the bill for the alcohol.
Post # 15
Everyone Please read the edit…Covering the cost isn’t the problem…goodness…
Post # 16
Do you think they would be open to having a cash bar for alcohol? That way you would put it on the guests to make their own decisions and your parents or you and Fiance are not paying for it.
It sounds like they are just really against having alcohol at the event which seems a bit extreme. I am a vegan and have agreed to have a number of meat dishes at the wedding just because I don’t think a good host has things that only they are into.
Personally I’d be really disappointed to go to a wedding where there wasn’t alcohol offered.