(Closed) Out of State Family and Friends

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
10275 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We just had our wedding where we live and invited everyone. Our guest list was probably around 90% out of town friends and family. Those who could make it came and those who couldn’t sent thier best wishes. It’s really not that complicated.

I don’t see why the housewarming party is necessary or would need to be a part of the wedding somehow. 

Post # 3
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

Almost all of our guests were out-of-state. (We live in MD; my family lives in MA, NY, KY, etc.; and his family lives in FL.) Many of our family and friends were unable to travel here for our wedding. Although I was a bit bummed, I completely understood.

I, personally, didn’t have and couldn’t imagine having a house-warming party. However, if I did have one, there’s no way I would invite our out-of-state family and friends. It’s not anywhere near as big of a celebration as a wedding is. If you want a house-warming party, just invite local family and friends.

Post # 4
Member
9262 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
kalf0918 :We’re trying to figure out the best way to navigate a wedding, reception and a house warming party. Trying to invite everyone down to all these events seemed a little extraordinary.

Great news — there’s a very simple solution:

  • Nix the housewarming because that has nothing to do with your wedding and it’s odd to invite out-of-towers to a housewarming. This is why your family responded negatively to the idea.
  • Plan the wedding for when you want the wedding. If you find a house you like before the wedding, buy the house first. If the wedding date comes before you’ve found a house, get married first.
  • Have the reception immediately following the wedding.

Easy-peasy for everyone involved.

Post # 8
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m getting married in October. We bought a house in March of this year. We haven’t had an official housewarming party. People just see it when they fly in to visit. My Future Mother-In-Law will see it for the first time right before the wedding. I also didn’t have a shower because most of our guests are not local. Basically I’m just planning for my family to be here once — for the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
47422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s a bit excessive to invite OOT’s to a housewarming. This is usually something you share with local friends only. Your OOT’s will get to see your house when they visit after you are in your home.

Post # 10
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
kalf0918 :  Hello there!

Well I definitely understand you as I am in the same boat as you. I am from Spain but I’ve lived in the UK for over 5 years now, my Fiance is English and we have decided to get married here in London. At the beginning I was worried about how my family back in Spain would feel about it but actually they unerstood that since I live here it makes more sense and it’s less hassle for me to get married here. We are not realigious either so we chose a beautiful barn with affordable accomodation options closeby for all our out of town guests.

Also, my bridesmaids are planning my hen do in Spain so my family and friends feel included as well!

I guess that my original point was not to worry about where you get married or how you do it, at the end of the day is your day and all your loved ones and friends will be by your side no matter what!

Good luck with all your projects xx

Post # 11
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
kalf0918 :  If funding is limited you should consider a smaller wedding. 

Keep in mind, the reception is to thank your guests for celebrating your union. It would be odd for them to celebrate your house at a celebration intended to thank them.

 

Post # 12
Member
9262 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
kalf0918 :  “The thought was to combine the wedding reception with a housewarming party, save on renting out a location for a reception.” — How many people are you inviting to your wedding? If you have room to have the reception at your home, that’s fine. But there’s no need to “combine” it with a housewarming because the reception would already be serving the purpose of a housewarming, which is showing people your new home. Calling it a housewarming (or combo reception/housewarming) comes off as gift-grabby. The reason being, it’s not necessary so why else would you call out the housewarming part unless you were hoping for an additional gift. I’m sure that’s not your intention which is why I’m recommending against any mention of housewarming.

But what if you don’t have the new house yet? I house-hunted for 3 years. Granted, I was extremely picky and most people don’t take that long, but I would not want to have that pressure. If you plan to invite a number of people who could fit into an average sized home, I can’t imagine it would cost that much more to just find a venue. So that’s what I would do.

Post # 13
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

Oh, are you saying you’ll have the wedding AT your house? If that’s the case, I think that’s a great idea (if you can accommodate all of your guests there), but I wouldn’t call it a housewarming then.

Post # 14
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

If it’s not an elaborate wedding, is it possible to drive/fly to east coast n have a wedding there if ur entire family lives there? Else invite them to NC and whoever can will make it. I suggest keeping housewarming aside for now.

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