Post # 1
so Fiance and I have a wedding in a different state. He is a groomsmen and was asked to buy his suit which was a specific made suit for him by the company of the grooms choice which was $250. Plane tickets were $500 for both of us, and hotels seem like they’re gonna be another $500 or more since everything is like $250 a night at least. God knows how much taxis are going to cost since ceremony reception and after party are all at different locations.
My question is, we are tight on money… Is a wedding gift expected of us ? They have some cheap things on their registry but I would feel like it looks horrible choosing one of the cheaper things on their list
Post # 2
A cheap gift wouldn’t be horrible at all! If it’s on their registry, it probably means that they want it and would be happy to receive it. I’d go that route. You don’t know how many times people complain about not getting gifts– save yourself the heartache and get them something inexpensive.
Post # 3
You could always send a gift later when the finances recover (I’m still receiving gifts, wedding was last Sept!) or just do a card and simple inexpensive gift. I think people understand the expense of traveling for a wedding, and if they don’t that’s their problem for being ingrates not yours.
Post # 4
From the perspective of my wedding gift experience: I did not judge people at all who got me a card and an inexpensive gift ($20 gift card, etc). I didn’t expect people to give me gifts, but I did find it awkward when there was no card or gift from certain people. That caused me anxiety thinking I may have somehow lost their gift or something. When I had a documented gift, I was perfectly happy to know they were just on a budget or whatever, and I could happily write them a thank-you note knowing that I didn’t somehow misplace anything or have something stolen.
Post # 5
That’s why they have cheap stuff on the registry! There will always be nasty couples who are ticked about not getting a “nicer” present. If they’re one of them, better for you to know and say good riddance to that friendship.
I think @pearlrose brings up a good point. If there’s no card that day it may get awkward because the couple may be afraid it was lost. That will only be a few dollars and bring them some piece of mind. And hey a heartfelt note is free and can be nicer than a check if their hearts are in the right place!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t feel bad about getting a gift off the registry…it’s there because they want it.
A good friend will recognize that you traveled far to come and participate.
Btw…custom suits for groomsmen??
Post # 7
I would totally get a cheap thing off the registry. They know you are spending a lot on their wedding with travel, lodging, clothing, etc. Just get a nice card and something small of the registry- that’s perfectly fine!!!
Post # 8
For all that travel, a nicely written card would be just perfect. We had lots of people travel cross country to our wedding and we did not want any of them to get us gifts! Reading cards from everyone was really nice though.
Post # 9
Something small off their registry is totally fine! I just have to add that and I know some will disagree with me, but I hate it when B&G makes their Bridal Party pay for expensive attire! Especially if it’s for a Destination Wedding or out-of-town wedding.
Post # 10
yeah I hope they realize that. And yes…. Custom made suits -_- Fiance wasn’t even happy and didn’t understand why I had to pay $150 for a dress for my cousins wedding (he doesn’t understand the whole bridesmaid thing) so when the price tag was $250 for his suit I was like “HA!” Even though it’s both our money lol :/
Post # 11
I agree. But my cousin didn’t so I was stuck paying for it and this is his childhood friend so I mean he can’t say no.
Post # 12
Tip – If in a city that has Uber, USE IT OVER TAXIs. LOL. Does your friend have a room block at any hotels? Those are sometimes setup to be cheaper
Post # 13
no they aren’t getting married in a hotel it’s different. Ones a warehouse, idk where the reception is and the after party is somewhere with a roof top (don’t think it’s a hotel) but it’s New York I’ve heard uber is a lot more expensive than taxis over there. Not sure how true
Post # 14
We didn’t even get a gift from one of my husband’s groomsmen, but we knew that there was a financial sacrifice on his part to come to the wedding, stay at the hotel, and rent a tux. I did not feel slighted in the least because of the effort that was made.
I like the suggestion of the PP to send a gift when finances recover, or a smaller gift as you suggested would also be good.
Post # 15
Get a nice card and give them your well wishes. You’ve spent enough!
Also, I don’t know about New York, but here in DC, Uber is WAY cheaper than taxis.