(Closed) Out of Town BM is NOT pulling through!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is it possible that she has something going on in her personal life that is getting her down/distracting her?  She is a friend first, bridesmaid second ๐Ÿ™‚

If she really is just being a flake… tell her the last possible day to give measurements & order the dress, and if she does not meet the deadline she is effectively removing herself from the wedding party.  You definitely aren’t kicking her out (that equals ending the friendship) but you’re giving her the opportunity to come through or bow out.

Oh, did you ask her budget before selecting the dress?  Is she maybe having financial issues between the dress & the required travel to another state?

Post # 4
Member
46679 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would try phoning her from someone else’s phone.

I would tell her that (a)I need the info by a certain date to order the dresses; or(b) if something getting in the way of her ordering the dress; or if (c)she is choosing to step down from the wedding.

If I didn’t get to speak to her, I would tell her that uless I heard back from her re (a) or (b) I would be assuming (c).

Post # 6
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The same thing happened to me with one of my friends.  I asked her for a date she could go, and I would arrange things around that (since she’s the only out-of-town BM), but she told me I should pick the day and she would make it work.  Well, she never showed up for the appointment to choose and order the dresses!

After the appointment, I texted her and told her that she would have until a certain date to get her butt to the salon and get measured (I picked her dress since she didn’t bother to show up).  She never responded to any texts or emails, but..

One day (before the deadline), she randomly texted me and said she had gone and gotten measured, and all was good!

So, maybe the same thing will happen in your situation! People can surpruse you sometimes! (although I know that probably doesn’t help with the stress you’re feeling at the moment Wink)

Post # 9
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ldykstra:  LOL hopefully it doesn’t come down to you having to guess her size! But let’s be honest, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, esp. when it comes to wedding plans! I’m sure everything will work out, be sure to keep us updated! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You’re being a lot nicer than me if I were in this situation. You’d given her enough information, tried getting in touch with her several times, and she has a deadline. I think you’ve done your part. As the bride, your bridesmaids shouldn’t be stressing you out.

Post # 11
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

give her a call and just check if everythings ok and talk to her about your need to order the dress.  Try to be friendly and open with her.. there could be a zillion reasons for her behaviour so try not to be judgmental before hearing her out. 

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