(Closed) Out of town guests

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 4
3942 posts
Honey bee


We are inviting 75 guests and I would say about 30 are out of town (plane ride). The others are a 2-3 hour drive, so many of those will also be staying in a hotel at least 1 night.

I do feel really bad, and guilty, but there really is no way around it. My friends and family live in one state, the Fiance and I live in a different state, and his family lives all over the country! So unfortunetyl, there really isn’t a way to have a centrally located wedding. No matter where we have it, people will need to travel. I am hoping to get a room discount at a nearby hotel. And I hopefully will make welcome bags for their room letting them know how much I appreiciate them coming.

EDIT: I also just want to add that people wouldn’t travel for your wedding if they didnt truely love and care for you. So try not to feel so guilty 🙂

Post # 5
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t feel bad about any guests who have to travel. They do have a choice and I wouldn’t be offended if anyone couldn’t afford to travel.  I have travelled for many weddings.

It all turns out even in the end.

Post # 6
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We are having around 200ppl. Most of my family will be coming from Montreal (6hours away), his family is coming from Portugal and the States. Alot of his family will be staying at the house and the rest will be staying at the hotel. We are reserving rooms for them so we get discounted rates.

Post # 7
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We had a little over 100 people and I think only 10-15 were local. We are from 2 different states so one family was going to have to travel. We chose to get married in the town we met and where we hope to settle. People made jokes but never at my expense. The only people who complained about the distance were those that didn’t come.

Post # 8
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Most of my guest list has to drive and or fly from out of town, very few live local. I feel bad that a lot of extended family won’t be able to afford it, but there was no one location that was ‘close to the majority’.. they all just live so spread out. So whereever, it was going to be a lot of out of town guests.

I’ve flown to several friends weddings, and even flew and paid for hotel rooms for the bacheolerette parties too. I usually won’t fly to the bridal showers because the tab is just starting to add up too much.

So in the grandscheme, I feel bad. I worry that I’m not taking care of our guests enough. I also worry that my $159 ocean front hotel is too expensive. But, I’m not asking anything more than what others have asked from me in the past. That’s what I keep trying to remind myself of. I just hope people make it a vacation. Florida is awesome in October.

Post # 9
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Check with some other hotels, and tell them that you want a block of at least 10 to start.  BUT…ask if they have an attrition policy, which means that YOU foot the bill for any rooms that aren’t picked up in the discount block.  Most hotels do wedding blocks without attrition so that you don’t have to pay for the extra rooms.  Clearly, I used to work in a hotel…lol.  We reserved at a Courtyard Marriott, and they did a block of 10 with no attrition.  Most Hampton Inns and Hiltons do the same thing.

Post # 10
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

All but 3 of our 80 guests were from out of town.  My husband is from TX, and I’m from CT, so no matter where we got married, at least half of our family and most of our friends would have had to travel.  In the end, we chose a neutral location (where we went to college), because it was not only the cheapest place for a wedding, but it also had a local airport, a major airport a few hours away, lots of hotels, and cabs.  The part of CT where I live is about an hour from the nearest airport, and the church we would have used would have been 30 minutes away from the nearest hotel.  I sometimes felt bad, but then I would remember that it would have cost our guests a lot more if we had had the wedding in CT (everyone from out of town would have had to rent a car, hotels are more, etc).  I just had to remind myself that my guests were grownups who were able to make their own decision about what they can and cannot afford.  We weren’t forcing anyone to come!  

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