Outcomes

posted 1 week ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Sandpoint, ID

Me! I waited 9 years for a proposal and we finally got married right before our 10 year dating anniversary. 

Post # 3
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My timeline wasn’t super long compared to some, we got engaged about 6.5 years in and married at 7. However, by the time we got engaged I had been actively ‘waiting’ for a year. 5 years married now, still super happy. 

Post # 4
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

blessdnikki :  Its not an epidemic. Men who love you and want to marry you dont require years to be worn down and do it. I wasted 7 years on an ex.

My husband told me at 6 months he wanted to marry me and officially proposed at a year.

Set higher expectations for yourself. If your guy doesnt want what you want – move on. Dont waste precious years of your life.

Post # 5
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Massachusetts

I think this also depends on the ages of the couples. I mean if you are mid to high 20’s together for awhile then I think that it makes sense to wait.

However in my case, I wasted 25-30 with my asshat of an ex bf. I’m annoyed with myself for taking so long to move on.

This time it’s different. My Fiance knew that he wanted to marry me early on and proposed just under a year (we knew each other for 10 years prior though).

You live and you learn

Post # 6
Member
9734 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband and I were together 7 years before getting engaged. But we met at 18 and mutually agreed on our timeline. I really only “waited” the 6 months between when he bought the ring and when he proposed. Been married over 3 years and still very happy.

Post # 7
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I waited for 10ish months officially, but he was teasing me with proposal talk well before then, like around the 1 year mark (we got engaged at the 3 year mark). I was certain he would never do it, hes an extreme procrastinator and defo still maturing. The saying “if a man wants to be with you he will move mountains to do so” really is true because one day he decided he was doing it and not waiting a moment longer and he proposed with a $40 from a gift shop. we ordered the “real one” after the proposal, but honestly wasnt even necessary. im not sure what clicked or if he just finally felt ready to do it, but once that happened it was full steam ahead lol. 

Post # 8
Member
8450 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

blessdnikki :  

I hope you don’t internalise this years of waiting stuff as normal and usual . As a pp and many others have said, not committing to marriage when very young is reasonable, but women in their mid thirties waiting and hoping and pleading is …not where you want to be or should be. 

If there is one thing to be learned from the Waiting boards is that becoming passenger in your own life journey is a sure way to unhappiness and resentment. Do not cede all power , it is a joint venture. 

Post # 9
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Sandpoint, ID

For some background, I was 18 and now-hubby was 23 when we started dating. 28 and 33 when we married. 

Post # 10
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

blessdnikki :  one of my best friends from elementary school, has been with her now fiance for 10 years, since we graduated from high school. they had a brief break in college where they dated others, for about a year (i think).  

she is almost 29 and has always wanted to get married TO HIM and have babies WITH HIM.  she has had her life together, she’s a teacher, owns a house, and is a great person.  he, however, dropped out of college, and is a bit more lazy than she likes, but she loves him and always knew she wanted to be with him.

my friends and i would talk to her all the time about what the hell he was waiting for.  i mean hell, it’s been 10 years and they’ve lived together for 4 years, in the house that SHE pays for.  it would erk us to watch her watch all of her friends getting engaged and married when thats all she wanted.  our other best friend would talk to her now fiance often and straight up ask him what he was waiting for.  he would say he wasn’t sure, would say that our friend is a slob and relies too much on her mom.  (her mom lives upstairs from them, she bought a double with the intention of her mom moving in since she is alone).  he would also tell our friend that he wasn’t sure he even wanted to get married.

but finally, despite saying that he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married or have kids, and would say that it was because his parents are divorced, he finally proposed in June and they are happily engaged and planning their wedding.  my other friend and i were a bit shocked to say the least, because we were really nervous it was not going to happen and we were going to have to watch her give him one last ultimatum- she had given many before.

hope this gives you some hope!

Post # 11
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - York, ME

We were engaged by our 4 year anniversary and married 7 months later.  We met when I was 22, and although I wanted to be married earlier and we knew we were going to get married, I think it all worked out well!

Post # 12
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I waited for an engagement exactly 0 months. I was shocked when he proposed, I wasn’t expecting it to even be on the radar of a possibility for another 6 months.  I was 21 and he was 23, we had been together 3 1/2 years at that point. 

I do agree that sometimes it makes sense to wait when you’re younger for financial or educational goals to be met. But if a guy wants to marry you, he will make it happen. 

Post # 13
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

mg8301 :  I mean we can say that and hope it’s true, but look at the countless stories suggesting otherwise on the waiting boards. I also have friends with very similar stories to those posted there. People in general aren’t in a rush to get married these days (which is good), but this seems to be doubly true for most men. I seriously doubt there were this many men this apprehensive about marriage fifty or sixty years ago.

No one’s really to blame, it just seems to be a confusing time right now as far as relationships go. But, plenty of fish still in the sea.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors