Post # 1
So my husband just started chemo a few days ago and he is planning on being a groomsmen in a couple of weeks. The wedding is outside at a park and there is no shade. Would sunscreen be enough?
I’ve talked to the groom and he was thinking about maybe having him wear a hat or an umbrella. But I don’t think my husband wants to stand out so much from the rest of the bridal party. He is already upset about losing his hair and having him look different than the other groomsmen will make him feel like a outsider. He also thinks that sunscreen will be good enough to protect him from the sun. Should I try to convince him to use a hat? Or are there other options? I know his should hold his head up high and be proud to be fighting off cancer, but we are at the very beginning and just getting used to everything and he’s still not ready for everything to change. I also feel bad for the bride and groom. They’ve planned their wedding and I don’t want them to have to change their plans.
Post # 3
(((Hugs))) to you and your husband. How long is the event, just outside for the wedding or an all day affair?
If going with sunscreen make sure he puts it on before he steps outside and to use a high spf. How does he tolerate the sun now? There aren’t any tents or gazebos that the bride and groom are setting up? How is he tolerating the chemo? (Sometimes the effects don’t happen for a couple of days) Is he going to be able to handle the heat without being sick?
Post # 4
Sending you both lots of love and support. I too had a close loved one go through cancer tyreatment and i think emotionally the beginning is the hardest for them. It’ s such a scary time and i think sometimes the acceptance of how their life has changed is the most difficult.
I can understand why he doesnt want to stand out but, could the bride and groom get all their groomsmen to wear some funky/stylish hats? I know it’s their day and you dont want to be a pain by getting them to make changes but 1) If they are close to your partner which im guessing they are, they would want to make sure he wont suffer with the sun 2) If it’s a long day outdoors all the groomsman will be grateful and have no problem wearing a hat. They could also take it off after the ceremony if they wanted.
Post # 5
Sunsceren will be fine but make sure it is applied at least an hour to half an hour prior to going out in the sunshine and it has a high spf level.
Even if he wears a bandanna/scarf he should wear sunscreen as well- there is nothing worse than a sunburnt head.
Alternatively a fedora hat or similar can look smart with a suit. But if he doesn’t want to stand out/look different then I would just not wear anything. maybe try it from the angle that a lot of men are bald and no one raises an eye at that!
As for getting used to it- it just takes time. The first time I lost my hair to chemo I was a crying mess but there does come a day when you wake up and accept it as the lesser of the evils! It is really hard to go out in public at first because you feel self concious and like everyone is looking at you but you do learn to live with the very few stares it just takes time. I actually notice more how many people are going through the same thing post chemo than I did before.
One of the best things that helped me was the fact that my Darling Husband made me feel loved, sexy and attractive through out.
I wish your hubby all the luck in the world during his fight 🙂 And remember to take care of yourself as well- a lot of people forget about the person doing all the caring but it is just as hard for you so make sure you look after yourself.
Post # 6
@adaisyandarose: He’s only had one treatment so far, and he hasn’t really gone outside. So I’m not sure how he’ll handle the heat. I just bought new bottles of 70+ SPF and 55 SPF for the face, I wasn’t sure if having old bottles of sunscreen would work effectively. Do you think the sunscreen will make him look shiny during teh wedding? I don’t want to the bride to worry about the pictures and such.
There wont be any covering for the ceremony. And the groom just notified me that the reception is outside with no tents. And I didn’t even think about how hot it’s going to be. It’s mid July in LA, outside, no coverings. I think I might have to wear a hat as well. =)
He’s has to wear a suit, i think even if he bowed out of being in the wedding party (which he wont do) because it sounds a little fancy.
The wedding starts at 4 and the groom said the ceremony will be about an hour (what!), I dont think I’ve ever been to a wedding that long. So think it will only be really hot for a few hours.
I’m going to ask the doctor for his opinion next week. But I just feel awful about making them change their plans. I know from experience how stressful planning a wedding can be. Plus we dont know the bride at all. She seems cool though (she facebook friended me) and not a bridezilla. But I know that brides have an image of what they want their wedding to be like and she probably didn’t want hats on the groomsmen or groomsman.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
wonder if the bride has thought about parasols? I bought some for me, the girls, and the moms, as a “just in case we’re melting during the ceremony.” I didn’t for the groomsmen, but if this was the situation, I certainly would. I think a smart looking fedora, etc. would be fine.
Post # 8
@campbali: I gave chemo for about 4 years. Definately talk with the staff when he goes in this week. They might be willing to give him extra fluids and nausea medications at the end of the week to make sure he is feeing well through the weekend. We did whatever we could for people with big events going on to get them through. Mabe if you could bring some kind of umbrella/parisol and he can step underneath when he needs to get out of he sun. I would be concerned about his scalp, even with sunscreen on it is really sensitive skin with a lot of nervesright under the skin, it would be really painful for him to get a burn at this point. I am keeping you and your husband in my thought and prayers and feel free to PM if you ever need someone to talk to.