(Closed) Outer circle friend getting married the same weekend!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t worry too much about it, you didn’t know, so it wasn’t like you did it intentionally. I would not mention the double date in your LJ, and just politely explain if anyone questions you.

Post # 4
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Are both weddings taking place in the same geographical area?

If so, I don’t see a problem.  It will work out for any friends that have to travel that they can attend 2 weddings in one trip.

If OF is upset, explain that you didn’t realize he’s chosen a date and you are SO RELIEVED that you aren’t on the same day!

Hopefully you’ll be able to schedule your events (rehearsal dinner, etc) so as not to make your friends choose between the 2.

Post # 5
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018
Post # 6
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think I misread your post initially, sorry!  I agree with the others, it seems like an honest mistake.  If there is drama, just explain what happened, your true friends won’t question your intentions.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I wouldn’t bring it up.  It will probably only affect a few people (and it will bring to everyone’s attention exacly who was invited to which wedding, or both, and that could be awkward).  Even for those it does affect it shouldn’t be too big of a deal.  They’re on different days, and it sounds like they aren’t in completely different locations, so no one should have any trouble attending both. 

We actually had some (distant) friends of ours set their wedding for the same date, for a location a thousand miles away.  It ended up only affecting one or two couples, one of which is my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I felt bad because my wedding is the one where she needs to travel a thousand miles to get there, and the other wedding is in the city she lives in, but she said she was excited for the trip.  Whew!

Post # 8
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

How many people are going to be affected by the overlap? That is, how many people will be invited to both weddings and able to attend only one, and if so, what are the odds that they would attend his instead of yours? If he’s that far from you in the Venn of Friends then I imagine the overlap is not that great.

If the weddings and friends are in the same geographic area, this could work out in your favor and not be a problem at all. Besides, if someone is your close friend but only his casual friend, even if they knew about his wedding date first, if forced to choose they still might come to yours because they are closer friends with you. You also have the advantage that it seems like you are getting invitations/STDs in the (e)mail faster than he is. An LJ announcement does not a wedding invitation make!

This will probably work itself out fine without anyone having to choose another date. My good friend had two weddings to go to, one on Halloween (her friends, who picked her date before mine) and mine on November 1. She flew down that morning to come to mine and I was so happy she did. So it will probably work out fine and the people you really care about being there will be there.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would say that if his STD’s are not out, you don’t have to worry.  What were you supposed to do? Check all of your friends’ xangas/myspaces/livejournals/etc to make sure they were all happy with your date?  Pshah! You would be one crazy busy bride!

I agree with Chelseamorning, that the people who are in the nexus of your Venn O’Friends will be there, no questions asked.  

Good luck, and try not to stress!

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe he’s not shouting his date from the rooftops because he won’t be inviting all of these friends and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.  I think you’re fine.  If someone is invited to both, they’ll make a choice.  OK.  So what?  They’ll still have fun that weekend and no one will notice.  No worries!!

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