(Closed) Outer envelope and inner envelope question

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LadyMoriarty:  Jack, Jane, little jack and little jane 

Families first names. And for formality…. AAAnd to make your invitations needlessly heavier and bulkier. They aren’t really necessary or used much anymore

Post # 5
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LadyMoriarty:  They USED to be standard, but they’re pretty outdated and considered traditional and formal now.

Post # 6
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LadyMoriarty:  Unless I’m mistaken the inner envelope is partially practical – gives the sometimes delicate invitation a little extra protection and partially to make sure each person who is being invited gets their name listed.  If you’re either inviting kids or inviting a couple and not their kids this can be quite useful.

Outer Envelope: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Inner Envelope: Aunt Cathy and Uncle John




I don’t think the inner envelope is necessary, but it is nice.


Post # 7
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@LadyMoriarty:  Inner envelopes, which many modern brides seem to eschew, are traditional and are used to incidate specifically who is being invited.

Outer envelopes, used by the postal service to deliver mail, are not really social documents.  The inner envelope is.

Children, for example, are never to be mentioned on the outer envelope but, if they are being invited, their names should appear on the inner envelope along with their parents’ names.

Likewise, if children are not  being invited, that message is conveyed when a couple sees that not only was the outer envelope addressed only to “Mr. and Mrs. John Edward Doe” (or “Ms. Jane Emily Smith and Mr. John Doe,” if the woman hasn’t changed her name, etc.) but also the inner envelope is addressed only to “Mr. and Mrs. Doe” (or, as the case may be “Ms. Smith and Mr. Doe.”) There is no mention of children.

When children are  mentioned on the inner envelope, their first and last names should be used. However, the first names of adults generally are not used.  Rather, just courtesy titles and last names.

I consulted with two etiquette experts and used the Crane Bluebook of Wedding Etiquette (not sure of the exact title right now) to address all of my wedding correspondence.  It was very helpful.

Post # 8
10452 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Personally I think they’re silly and a waste of paper. But it’s a formality thing, or for people who don’t want to put a number of seats reserved on the RSVP card to make it clear who is invited. 

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