(Closed) Outer Envelope wording for unmarried couples (no inner envelope)

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


I am putting the name of the person I am closer to first and then just putting both their full names. Like Ms. Jane Smith & Mr. John Doe.

And I am doing "and Family" as well. I think there’ something about etiquette when the person is older than 18 they get a seperate invite? And I’m putting the father’s name then and family.

Post # 4
405 posts
Helper bee

My $.02 is to put Barbie Smith and Ken Black on the outer envelope. We’ll be doing the same, so you wouldn’t be the only one breaking the "rule".  

I’m pretty sure that writing "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe & Family" is ok.


Post # 5
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I will also be writing them as Mr. John Doe and Miss Jane Black, with the person we know better going first. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with the ‘and Family’ bit, especially if there are so many kids! Frankly, I think unless you know they’ll be offended if you don’t follow etiquette, they probably won’t know any better. I didn’t know any of these rules existed until I started wedding planning and I know that my guests could care less, so I’m skipping a lot of the super formal and antiquated traditions =).

Post # 6
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I put both of their names on the outer envelope, but on different lines if they did not live together:

Mr. John Doe

Miss Jane Black


For a family with 5 kids I think the only practical thing you can do is write "and family"

Post # 7
378 posts
Helper bee

I second mv17. But I put the parents on the first line and then just the kid’s first names on the second line. Just so they knew they were all invited.

 Mr. and Mrs. Jon and Jane Smith

Kate, Jacob, Max

123 Main St.

Anywhere, USA 12345


Post # 8
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I have no idea about etiquette on this one but what about The Doe Family?

Post # 9
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I did what jma19 did.

I had a similar question about an engaged couple not living together, so how to invite them together but she’s not at his address, and the advice I got was to list them both on the outer envelope. 

I ended up, at FI’s mom’s request, sending them separate invitations, which seems weird, especially if they don’t arrive at the same time or if the less close person doesn’t recognize who we are!

I think it’s SO NICE that you are inviting both people in the couple and including both names on the invitation. That’s really etiquette, showing you care about your guests, not worrying about a "rule". 

Post # 10
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I addresses mine the following: 

-Jane and John Smith

-Jane Smith and John Doe

-The Smiths

Jane, John, John Jr. and Janie

-Jane, John and Janie Smith 

and in one case:

-The Smith-Doe Family (husband and wife have different last names)

Jane, John and Janie 


 I did labels that I printed out on my computer. I did not use inner labels. I thought I might have to do two labels for the larger families, but doing smaller fonts I  was able to fit on one label. I used a clear label and the font from my invite. They came out nice. 


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