Outshining the bride

posted 5 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Should outshining the bride be a concern for female guests?
    No. As long as you adhere to the dress code and don't wear white, it's fine. : (93 votes)
    88 %
    Yes. It won't kill you to look less good in order to let the bride shine. : (13 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 16
    9809 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Pft, no one could outshine me if they tried.

    Post # 17
    5575 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2017

    llevinso :  that $3k dress probably cost more than the wedding dress!! SHAME!!

    Post # 18
    536 posts
    Busy bee

    What? What is wrong with people. This isn’t a thing. A wedding isn’t a competition and there isn’t a winner, just a celebration of two people making a commitment to each other. 

    Post # 19
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    Westwood :  Okay I’m gonna just call it how I see it, that guest is a fucking bitch.

    I would kick any and all narcissists, drama queens, and home wreckers out of my wedding.

    Post # 20
    12108 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    It’s funny that this topic came up because when I was shopping the other day a mom and her daughter were looking for dresses to wear to a wedding. Both commented that one was gorgeous but would “outdo” the bride. 

    This is a thing, but more about not wearing all white or low cut, not hair or makeup etc. Traditionally, you would also not wear very loud, attention grabbing colors, in particular bright red was always a no no. 

    Post # 21
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2020 - North Carolina

    I don’t think that woman are worried about outstaging the bride because they are egotistical. I think it’s more about trying to make sure you don’t offend the bride. I’ve never been to a wedding but I have a lot of “work friends” who are married. You wouldn’t believe how insecure a lot of them were on their wedding days. One lady was telling us that she let it be known that she was the only one to have “glam makeup” on. Another lady b*tched for over an hour about a friend who “looked too good in her dress” as if she can help how her body is shaped. I think it’s moreso proactively making sure not to step on the brides toes than actually worrying about overshining her.

    Post # 22
    930 posts
    Busy bee

    Yeah I agree with Hickoryhills, i’ve always found it to mean that it was a form of wanting to steal attention by wearing something that would clearly steal attention like a something super low cut, or a mini dress or see through, etc. Aside from all that, it just looks plain tacky. 

    If its a wedding appropiate dress/outfit and it looks amazing, wear that thing!


    Post # 23
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I flip both ways. On one hand I can see like “seriously, bride, get over yourself”

    But on the other hand, there is a humility thing too. Don’t go off wearing optic white, looking like a Kardashian with airbrush makeup, and calling attention to yourselves with lots of dancing and “me me me” attitude when you’re a guest. 

    It’s one thing to wear makeup and look formal. It’s another thing entirely to be professionally done-up to attend a wedding that you’re not a part of. If you’re a gorgeous supermodel, you can’t help it and the bride should NOT begrudge you for it. On the other hand, please be humble. The day isn’t about you. 

    My mom is VERY anti-outshining-the-bride. She isn’t getting her makeup or hair done professionally, and she’s my mom! I was like “mom you can wear makeup omg” and she’s like “no the day is about you, not me”

    It’s really all about balance XD I feel bad for my mother lol

    Post # 24
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I’m an identical twin. I was legitimately worried I would look more made up than my sister at her wedding, because I’m the dramatic make up type and she isn’t. I went out of my way to wear muted make up for her wedding day. 

    Post # 25
    4813 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    How the hell do you outshine a wedding gown? A guest can flash her coochie in her tight white dress all she wants but the bride is always the most beautiful.

    Such a stupid mentality. Do men worry about outshining the groom? NO.

    Post # 26
    530 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    Even if I look totally bangin’ and the bride looks like hot garbage, she’ll still outshine everyone. It’s her day and she’s the one in the white dress getting married to the person she loves. 

    Post # 27
    12108 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    megm1099 :  “It’s one thing to wear makeup and look formal. It’s another thing entirely to be professionally done-up to attend a wedding that you’re not a part of.”

    Etiquette has never interfered in matters of personal grooming when it comes to wedding guests, including the wedding party. Professional hair and makeup can be both tasteful and appropriate at any time of day or for any event as long as its suitable for the formality of the occasion and the venue. 

    Post # 28
    7814 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’d be flattered if guests got their hair/makeup professionally done for my wedding! That would be a compliment I think. 

    Obviously showing up in a long, billowing white dress would be somethng else, but being upset that your guests have invested in looking their best for your day is one of the crazier things I’ve heard in wedding la la land.

    Post # 29
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    I think the idea of “outshining the bride” is the ridculous. I don’t think anyone should dull down their look for a wedding, and I seriously cannot imagine all the guests ignoring the bride because a random guest just looked SOOO attractive. 

    However, I think that wedding guests should be dressed appropriately and look nice. I think the look female wedding guests should go for is modest beauty, basically not wearing what you’d wear to a night club. But I don’t think this has anything to do with “outshining” the bride, it’s more just showing the best verision of yourself for a formal event

    Post # 30
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I think in addition to not wearing a solid white dress (will die for a woman’s right to a wear floral dress with white on it!) don’t show more cleavage  than the bride. After that, you’re all set. It’s very weird to think you’re so much better than the bride that you have to disguise your attractiveness. Side-eying the hell out of that.

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