(Closed) outsiders attitude toward waiting (a rant)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

It ate your post! Looks like it ate almost all of it, too…

Post # 5
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t listen to them. All things aside listening in to a stranger’s conversation and then commenting on it within earshot is straight up rude.

Post # 6
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Couldnt agree more :S Jeez, some people. Its also sad that women who barely know you think that they know more about your relationship/ have “better” ones than you.

Grrr, women can kick ass sometimes, but other times they can really get on me nerves 😛 We need to respect one another more…

 

Post # 8
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Bah – some people are just contrary, and if you were talking about anything else and they didn’t have the courtesy to keep their comments private and quiet enough about this, they’d have been just the same.  They’d probably have commented on your clothes, your choice of shopping, or movies had you been talking about those, instead. 

It IS galling when people just think off-the-cuff ‘advice’ or comments on women who are waiting and how they should just leave or give up are adequate, or necesary.  At least on this board there are plenty of people who wil try to find out more about the relationship, and ahve been reading comments for months at times before making such reccomendations… to do so, audibly, in public with regards to a stranger’s conversation is just rude.  Next, time, you should walk over and tell them to scoot closer so they can eavesrop better, and so their rude comments won’t be wasted.

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@miss sparkly cat: why didn’t you? maybe then they would have shut up and thought twice before interjecting themselves into someone else’s convo again!! 😉

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

people are so frustrating ignor it. Although I can see where you would want to smack them lol

Post # 13
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think its simply a matter of not understanding. I doubt they meant to be mean, but not having been there done that, its really hard to get what its about/like.

For example- you THINK you can understand what its like or what you would do it your husband cheated/died, but until you are there and you know all the specific details to your situation- you dont really know. You think you know what its like to have to choose between a mother and a husband or to move away from family because of a job or husband… but until you are there you dont really know.  (I use “you” in the plural form- not you as in the OP) You THINK you know exactly how you would raise your children, until you have them. Then all of a sudden buying all organic food is more expensive then you think, or you dont have enough time to do the dishes so you give in to 30 minutes of TV a day instead of 0 minutes a day, etc….

It doesnt excuse the conversation, but maybe thinking about it this way will allow it to bother you less.

Post # 15
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

funnily enough, people always want their 2 pennys worth.

for the first 2-3 years of our relationship,  our friends would ask  ‘when you gonna name the day then?  or isnt it about time you got hitched?’

we didnt marry, we just lived together,  but now we are getting married next year after being together 16 years!!!!!

guess what those SAME people are saying now…..?

”after all this time why are you bothering?!!!!!!!!!!’

you cant bloody win!

Post # 16
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Isn’t anyone who’s in a serious relationship with the “one”, but who isn’t engaged, waiting?

I know before Darling Husband asked me to marry him, I was waiting, because I knew we both wanted the same thing–to spend the rest of our lives together. I remember being disappointed our first Christmas together when he didn’t ask. I remember being disappointed on the Valentine’s Day following the Christmas…  But I wasn’t going to leave him because he didn’t ask me on those occasions, so I waited. I don’t know how long I would have waited, but I know if I hadn’t, I would have missed out on getting married to the most wonderful man in the world who has made me happier than I ever imagined possible. 

Whether these people realize it or not, at some point if they’re married, there was a point when they were also waiting, unless they did the asking themselves.  

Just remember that and snicker to yourself, because they’ve obviously forgotten they were in your situation before…

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