(Closed) Over 40 and first time down the aisle

posted 6 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
46376 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Age has nothing to do with the excitement you feel as you plan your wedding to the love of your life. Enjoy every moment!

Post # 4
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Age shouldn’t affect you enjoying your planning- you’re getting married, THAT’S what matters! ENJOY!!

Post # 5
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Your age doesn’t mean you should feel any LESS excited about planning and being happy about your upcoming wedding!!  You have every right to be happy!!  Congratulations to you and your FI!!!!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Right there with you! I’ll be meeting my hair stylist for the first time right a few days the wedding for my hair trial.  I feel compelled to tell her my age now, so she doesn’t look for my daughter when I walk in the salon… ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
389 posts
Helper bee

I’m getting married next year and I will be 51!  I’m still a fox (and so is my hubby to be!) and we’re as excited as two 25-year-olds!  So, celebrate you and knock ’em dead.  Buy the best dress you could afford and celebrate your day in style.  Do get professional hair & make up for excellent photos.  An older bride is just as exciting!

Post # 8
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My second time (first at 20) but FI’s first time–we will both be 44.  I have to say, I’m SO glad he waited for me!  Should have been him all along, we met and dated in college in 1987, lost touch for 22 years and are now right where we belong. ๐Ÿ™‚

We both couldn’t be more excited than if we were 25–and I know we appreciate it more now.  Living the fairytale!

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@julies1949:  Exactly.

One of the most beautiful bride photos I’ve seen on WB was 53, first marriage. The confidence and happiness just exuded from her. 

I never thought I’d be getting married at 40, but I’m glad it worked out this way- I’ve found such a fantastic man for my life partner. If I’d gotten married to the man I *thought* I was going to end up with at 32, it wouldn’t have lasted- I wasn’t wise enough then to see the red flags.

What are your mixed emotions about?

@sehrler:  love this!

Post # 10
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I was a first-time bride at 41, and it was even better than I could have imagined!  I had my dream wedding, and I’m sure both my wedding and my marriage were 100 times better than what they would have been if I’d tried this 20 years ago ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MrsTimmy:  Dignified-smignfied…..dignified is over-rated.

It’s your wedding. It should be fun…..a celebration of two people joining their lives together and full of emotion.

For the record, I love your dress choice! I am also over 40 and was married for the first time about a year ago. I didn’t have a bridal shower, but it was more a factor of no one living near anyone else, so logistically a bridal shower wasn’t possible. But I did have a really nice spa day with my sister and bridesmaid the day before the wedding~which was much more to my liking anyway.

Hang in there!!

Post # 13
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

OP, I hear you.  I’ll be 39 by my first wedding and I feel somewhat “weird” about it too.  It’s hard to articulate, but I AM conscious of being a bit of a rare bird.  So far I haven’t run into any rude comments, but I tend to look younger than my age.

I’m sometimes pretty good at over-rationalizing things and so the part of me that wants the pretty dress and a bit of a production is at war with the part that says “Oh, shut up. We’re old enough to know that’s a pure luxury.  It’s the marriage that matters, not the wedding.”  Add in the tiny budget and there are days I really question why we’re going to all this fuss… and then that little girl in me that I squashed for so many years pops up and says, “Why not?  You deserve it!  You didn’t get stupid or desperate and marry the wrong person (something you could’ve easily done), you waited until you were ready… and now you’ve found the right one and you’re ready to celebrate!”

I hope that “little girl” keeps getting stronger every day.  And as others have alluded to above, you get just as excited as you would have at 25–and there’s something wonderful about connecting with the freer and more naive part of yourself at an older age–that young girl is still inside you!

Post # 14
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MrsTimmy:  Psshhh – let me tell you that my friends and family were so thrilled to attend all the events, the shower, the bachelorette party, the big and undignified wedding Tongue Out Remember that it’s probably been a while since they’ve been to these kinds of events since everyone got married years ago, so they won’t be burned out on weddings like we were back in our 20s!  The great news is that the spotlight is all yours now, everyone will be SUPER happy for you, and we are better off financially than we were 20 years ago which makes it easier to splurge on exactly the wedding you want!  BTW all of the 15 gals that came on by bachelorette weekend commented on how much more fun it was at our age.  Enjoy every bit of it and don’t compromise anything because you think you are too old for it! 

Post # 15
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@StarryNight2011:  perfect- Dignified-smignfied.  

@39bride:  You nailed it! We know that the priority is our marriage, not the wedding. As I get closer to the date, I start to get a little giddy- we received our first wedding/shower gifts Wednesday, and who would have thought a Martha Stewart cutting board would make me so happy?

@MrsTimmy: You have waited long enough- you deserve the pretty white dress, the showers, all of it! Your dress is gorgeous, and looks fantastic on you.

People want to celebrate your love. One of the biggest advantages of being the 40-something bride has to be control over the invites.  One of us knows every guest- we are going to be surrounded by people who love and support us…how fantastic is that?

If you were 60, 70, 80…it’s still perfect to feel this excitement- enjoy the ride! 

Post # 16
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@reebee:  I am 48 and will be a first time bride next year. I am having fun with it, my friends are throwing me a bachelorette party in Vegas. I haven’t heard anything negative, not to my face anyway. If someone doesn’t like it, its their problem.

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