Post # 31
Take the money and get cookie trained because it’s the right thing to do for a defenseless animal, it doesn’t matter that he’s not “yours”. Just be a good person to this poor animal and help it have a better life. If you have the money for the procedure, you have the couple hundred for training.
mine and yours doesn’t work in a marriage, especially with living beings.
Post # 32
kaitlyn8298 : No, you would be happier if the dog was with the in-laws. The only reason the dog might be happier is because of the unhappiness you are causing it.
Post # 33
hockeybee0104 : so If I spend some money on cookie and some on my puppy, then I should have the procedure done?
Post # 34
ashleyroo : yes that is a great point. I definitely watch him closely, even more so now. I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary but still want to get the echo to know for sure.
Post # 35
FH and I had a 9 month old kitten pass away for no apparent reason. Not trying to scare you, just providing some perspective. We went through a ridiculous amount of grief and guilt and shame and “what if,” but that’s all a normal part of the grieving process. My point is, I’d get the echocardiogram if ALL the following applies:
-you can comfortably afford it (I’d also budget for paying for at least half of Cookie’s training, since that problem still needs to be addressed
-it won’t cause the dog an undue amount of stress that outweighs the benefits of the exam (try to avoid poking and prodding your dog just for your own ease of mind)
-the results are reasonably accurate, and you have educated yourself about the possibility of false positives
-early detection of any potential issues are actually treatable and will make a difference
That being said, I think you should not combine your finances completely with your fiance. He won’t even pitch in to train an aggressive/anxious/scared dog, what do you think he’d think of an electrocardiogram?? He is a bare minimum, even neglectful, pet owner, and you’re an all out dog mom (for the dogs you actually like). Do you think you’re actually compatible?
I’d create a small joint account with your fiance for joint expenses and anything that’s just for you or he doesn’t agree with can come out of your separate account.
That being said, I still don’t think you should marry your fiance unless he changes his shitty attitude about Cookie and the treatment of pets in general. You also need to recognize that Cookie and your fiance are a package deal and there will be no more “his dog, my dog” anymore. You both need to change your attitudes but his is much shittier. Shitty enough for me to tell you AGAIN: reevaluate your relationship. If your fiance is willing to make amends, make sure he is sincere. Be prepared to dodge that bullet. Please.
Post # 36
BuzzedBumblingBee : thank you. this was a very helpful response. i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your kitten! that is so young and i can’t imagine. i too am scared of the “what ifs”. my pup is probably fine, he shows zero symptoms of a heart condition but still. if he does have something and were to prematurely pass away, i would forever regret passing up the echocardiogram that could have revealed a treatable condition, especially with knowing that his half brother suddenly passed.
I was able to get another name of a private specialist from my vet, who quoted the echo at 350-400 dollars, he won’t have to be sedated, and i will be able to stay in the room with him rather than leave him all day and have him lightly sedated. so, i am leaning towards doing it just to be safe rather than sorry. the echo could show many dieases and congential heart defects that could be managed with medications.
As far as the issues with Cookie, I had a serious conversation with my fiance last night after receiving some helpful responses from bees, but even more hate. I was pretty upset with how mean people were but i also understand how terrible we both sound as dog parents. i realize that my fiance and cookie are a package deal and that there really shouldnt be my dog/his dog – even though the puppy is OUR puppy, i do hope to get to the point where i WANT to say that Cookie is also ours. It is just hard right now when he hates me as much as he does. I realize it’s partially my fault because i haven’t done anything about it in terms of training, but again with the anxiety and fear that this dog has it is pretty much impossible for me to have done anything without a professional.
anyways, my fiance and i have decided to look into getting cookie a trainer. he is not thinking that it is going to help much, but he’s agreed to participate and help pay for it. we haven’t been able to find through our research a trainer that would come to our house, which would be better for cookie because of the way he acts in public, we are going to call our vet tomorrow to see if maybe they know of any, but if not we found a clinic that sounds like they would be able to help Cookie. Fingers crossed that it works and there isn’t too long of a waiting list, because clearly all of our lives need to improve.
Post # 37
Ivercautious and undercaring. Great combination.
Post # 38
I vote no to the test. What are you going to do if the results are bad and he needs surgery? Are you going to get the $2000 surgery if they say he needs it? Those things aren’t a guaranteed success and he could pass away. The main reason I say no to the test is if he is not experiencing symptoms now then he will most likely be okay, at least for now.
I fostered a kitten from 5 weeks old to 12 weeks old for my local shelter and it turned out she had a heart murmur, grade 4 out of 5 which is serious. She had rapid breathing but was otherwise seemed okay. The shelter said she would need $8000 surgery to possibly repair but they weren’t going to spend that on a kitten. I was very sad because I became attached to her. I already adopted her brother and wanted to adopt her too. The shelter told me she will just stay in foster with me and try to make her comfortable for as long as she has.
One day she made these loud gasps and I became worried so I told the shelter. They said I can bring her to the vet, and I thought she could just get some medication or treatment. Instead once I’m there the shelter tells me they authorized her to be euthanized. I was shocked…I had to stop the vet staff and say my goodbye because they were going to do it right away without telling me, the lowly foster mom. I paid for her cremation myself so I could get her ashes back…
Anyway, I’ve seen with two recent puppies with heart murmurs, the shelter paid $2000 for their surgery. One is doing okay after the surgery. The other puppy passed away during the surgery because the hole in her heart was too big. Sad sad…
Personally I just wouldn’t do the test unless experiencing real symptoms.
Post # 39
mrswin : that is so sad! poor kitten & puppy. my good friend’s golden retriever who was 6 just dropped dead yesterday. the vet had heard a slight murmur in her for years but was never overly concerned, stating it was a very minor grade 1 or 2 and their dog never showed any symptoms. they never got an echo or anything and now are besides themselves wondering if there could have been something they could do, although sadly, there probably wasn’t.
i feel like with my puppy, i would rather know if there is something wrong before he goes under for his neutering surgery. because if the echo does tell us something is wrong, then he probably won’t be neutered if the risks outweigh the benefits.
Post # 40
I also have a boxer , he is 1.5 years old , he is our love and I would do anything for him, I would get the test done in a heartbeat, and if there is a diagnosis would find the help he need. Boxers are so loving dogs , people don’t get it until they have one.
Post # 41
Spare some of your cash for the other dog, too, please. Perhaps if you stopped neglecting Cookie, bees would be more sympathetic but you sound like a rather cruel dog parent on your other thread.
Post # 42
mel76 : i understand that. but i have said numerous times now, that i was able to find a private vet that will do the echocardiogram for more than half the price, he won’t have to be sedated and i will be able to stay in the room with him so that he isn’t scared.
my fiance and i have decided that we are taking Cookie to a dog trainer. i am going to help pitch in with that, no matter how much it costs because i want all of our lives to improve.
Post # 43
mrsrobinsonco : they are absolutely the best dogs ever!! people that don’t have one definitely don’t understand how loving, fun and quirky they are! such great, fun loving personalities. i am really leaning towards getting the test done especially with all the heart problems and diseases boxers are prone to.
Post # 44
I have actually tried to answer your posts with legitimate responses and i haven’t been snarky at all, but you are telling me that your friend’s dog just died from exactly what you are trying to convince us that your puppy might die of if you don’t get this test? You realize how unbelievable that sounds, right? Just seems like very convenient timing…
Go get the test because it’s obviously important to you to know what’s going on. If you find out that the puppy has a serious condition, would you return the dog to the breeder and get a refund?
I am no stranger to the expenses of a dog and I just paid out thousands of dollars for a tiny fracture and almost had to amputate her toe (luckily it healed!!)…and that was with insurance!
Post # 45
sharpshooter : why would i lie about my friend’s dog passing away? are you serious right now? good lord. no, i am not trying to convince anyone anything about my puppy or the test, because obviously it’s up to me and my vet, i was just trying to get some decent feedback.
if my puppy has a congential heart defect, they would give a refund and a new puppy. i would not give my puppy back, he’s 8 months old and my fiance and i are very attached to him. i just want to have the test done for peace of mind, especially with hearing now about my friends dog. again, it’s actually disgusting that you think i would lie about that. if you didn’t know, dogs sadly die young from congential heart defects, very randomly without any signs or symptoms. boxers & goldens are both prone to cardiomyopathy, which often presents first with a heart murmur.
my friend and her fiance do not know for sure if their dog’s heart murmur is what killed her. they are assuming but they are not getting an autopsy done. i couldnt believe when she told me, especially with my puppy’s half brother dying and my uncertainity with this test. that’s the only reason i shared that.