(Closed) Over guest limit – How to disinvite from announcement emails

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If people are expecting an invitation, I think it’s hard to go back on your word now. My one suggestion is to only send save the dates to people who you are for sure inviting. The rest of the guests can receive just an invitation. I did that with our save the dates. Our closest family and friends received a save the date. The rest of our guest list did not.

Also, with wedding invitations the general rule is that 20% of people will say no to attending your wedding. This of course depends on your circumstances and guest list. I imagine that a destination wedding will have a higher decline rate for example. 

I understand that this is stressful because I went through the taming the guest list challenge for the past year!  More people will say no than you expect. I think when it really comes down to it, some people will not buy plane tickets to Mexico and book the expensive hotel. It’s a pretty big commitment.

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Can you expand the reception area? Surely the hotel wants more people…more people=more money =]. But no, i do not think you can go back on invitations. Is it possible these people *think* it’s a great idea and when the time comes, won’t have the money to pony up for flights and an exclusive resort stay?

Post # 5
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i definitely had people whose address i asked for and then ended up not sending invites to. but it was around the holidays so maybe they thought it was for christmas cards or something (not that i did those either).

also i woudln’t count on replies from emails as for sure things. we had a bunch of people (at least 6 couples at this point) who told us they were definitely coming and then when it was finally time to send in the RSVP (now) they said no to our surprise. things happen – new jobs, babies etc. and people just change their mind – it seems like people don’t like to tell you immediately or directly that they are not coming.

also agree with other poster – only send physical save the dates to those you know for sure. one you send the STD, you have to send an invite. sending an email announcing your engagement and asking for an address does not obligate you.

Post # 6
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wouldn’t say there is a tasteful way out of this.  You might need to consider changing the reception venue or having a conversation with the hotel and explain the situation.  Overall, some of the barebones list may not be to make it once it comes time to book flights and hotels but you still need to plan for them.

Post # 8
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you will have a problem with a destination wedding.  Lots of people want to come, but when it comes down to it can’t make it for whatever reason.

Post # 9
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@kb027156: It is nerve wracking, but I think in the end your numbers will work out. Some of our RSVPs have surprised me. One good example is one of my Mom’s oldest friends. She has been telling my Mom for a year that she would not miss my wedding and would fly from Florida to Ohio for my wedding. Well, when push came to shove, she and her husband RSVPed that they wouldn’t be coming. So you just never know!

The topic ‘Over guest limit – How to disinvite from announcement emails’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors