- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
My fiance and I got engaged last August. We’re having a longer engagement due to the fact I’m finishing up my degree this year and we both decided we wanted to have our living situation down first, then save for the wedding, as we are predominantly paying for it by ourseleves. We used to never fight or argue about hardly anything, I think we maybe had one argument before we got engaged. Fast foreward a bit, my fiance’s father is an extremely successful buissness man. His parents are very weathly, however they’re not really one to flaunt their money and his dad works very hard and has raised my fiance to be the same way Anyway his Dad started a side buisness of buying and flipping foreclosed houses and had one he over invested in, so he gave us an offer. He said since he didn’t think he could sell it for what he wants, we could move in and pay the property taxes and our utilities for the next year and buy the house off him when we had our feet on the ground. It’s a great offer so we accepted. Sometimes I wish we hadn’t.
He wanted my fiance to work on it to cut down costs on having workers there, which is fine, however every since he’s pretty much at his Dad’s beck and call whenever he wants him over there. For example, the last week and a half no work’s been getting done because his Dad’s wanted to work a car he’s fixing, this upcomming weekend we were supposed to be looking at wedding venues we had planned for the last month. Instead his Dad wants to hang dry wall cause they’re behind and it can’t wait.
Aside from this I feel like we need the okay from his parents and extended family on EVERYTHING. We had a huge argument on furniture a few weeks back, his uncle was moving and offered us alot of house things and some furniture if we wanted cause he was downsizing. I was fine with appliances, yard things, all that stuff but I stressed I really wanted us to buy our own couches/dining room table because we’d have it for a long time and I wanted at least that room to look nice and have our tastes (living room/dining room are open concept). He told his parents. His mother told some of her family, like her mother. Everyone was all pushy about we should take what we can get and get what we want when we get married (which is 2 1/2 years away mind you). We compromised and he said we’d buy those things and take what we can get as far as other furniture and we both agreed no used couches just for sanitary reasons. When we helped his uncle move I had to here several comments from his grandma and mom about how everyone takes other people’s thing when they move out and that’s just how it is. I just kind of ignored it since we settled on things.
Done? Nope. Two weeks later, his other grandparents (his grandpa works maintence at a trailer park) said they had a sleeper sofa couch for us because some lady at the trailer park was getting rid of it. I’m thinking no way, my fiance doesn’t even want it. His dad guilts him that it’s a free couch. Now my fiance is helping move it this weekend. He keeps telling me we don’t have to take it he’s just moving it and it’s going to be at his parents for now. I may just freak out if that couch somehow wind up in our house.
To make things worse, yesterday night we talked about secretly getting married before we have an actual ceremony/reception. Like sometime nest year just eloping so we don’t have to wait and we’re legally married, then have the big ceremony and all that the following year. He then replied with, “I’ll talk to my parents about it”. I’m like what! This is supposed to be our decision, what do your parents have to do with it! This defeats the whole point!
Help me out here, what do I do? Sometimes I feel like I’m at my wits ends with pleasing his family!