(Closed) Overreacting about bachelor party??

posted 1 month ago in Parties
  • poll: Is the brides feelings of disrespect wrong?
    No, I would feel the same way : (79 votes)
    50 %
    Yes, boys will be boys : (5 votes)
    3 %
    No, but she did overreact : (69 votes)
    44 %
    Yes, but most brides do about bachelor parties : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 64
    Member
    93 posts
    Worker bee

    Well and this is why half the marriages go to shit and end up in divorce.

    I am sure OP is months if not weeks away from her wedding, excitment in the air… everything planned everyone invited.. the thought of cancelling/postponing is so horrifying that of couse why not go through it and just believe this.. its sad. 

    Multiple women here have said from even personal experience that these women were hookers and the only reason they were hired for that long was in fact to perform sexual acts.. whether or not he did anythign I guess who knows.. but end of day your husbands best friends who will be around forever are these kind of guys.. they lie to their own wives.. (for years since you said he was last to get married and they have all been married for a while) they lie to you.. and none of them even blink while doing it. Having this as your partners support group and closest friends is gonna bring its own slew of issues.. I mean with the divorce rate as it is its simple math that some of these guys will be bachelors again and then what?.. boys nights out where they will guilt him to come since they are alone and single.. second round of bach parties etc.. just sounds like years of drama and fighting.. to each their own though

    I know we are strangers but every woman here is only trying to help you… do yourself a favor and if you truly 100% believe hes innocent.. find out the name of the company the contact whatever and dig into what these women typically do.. and there is your answer

    No one just chills with hookers by the pool talking about sports… thats one very expensive conversation.

    Best of luck bee, I truly do hope we are wrong and your fiance is the man he has led you to believe he is

    Post # 65
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    This isn’t about his friends. This is about your Fiance telling you one thing and then doing another. His friends don’t owe your an apology or anything else.

    Technically, he may have told them no strippers. But it sounds like he didn’t tell them no hookers.

    Post # 66
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    If the agreement was no strippers, he should have left. I would be concerned about his boundaries and that he is willing to go along with whatever the crowd does insteand of standing up for himself. For me, this would be break-up grounds.

    Post # 67
    Member
    4497 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Ladyluck227 :  I get it OP. Its easier to be in denial about what went down.

    I asked my husband just now  if he’d ever remotely think of hiring strippers for a bucks night in cancun. His answer was no because in Mexico they wouldn’t be strippers and they’d more likely be exploited sex workers who probably weren’t even of legal age when they started out. He said you’d be knowingly buying into the sex trade and into the mistreatment of others.

    I read him your post after that question and he said your husband and his friends are disgusting and that they definitely had these girls do more than just strip for them and that they knowingly bought into the exploitation of others. He said that you should RUN and that your fiancé is exactly like his friends….skeezy liars who buy sexual favours from exploited people in third world countries. He said to get tested too. 

    Post # 68
    Member
    6743 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    annabeth929 :  “Technically, he may have told them no strippers. But it sounds like he didn’t tell them no hookers.”

    Image result for nose tap gif

    Post # 69
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    Ladyluck227 :  Oh girl you need to wake up. Your husband knew damn well that this was going to happen. I can put money on it. Your husband lied to you point blank. He most certainly could have left when those whores showed up. Come on. And let me just inform you of something there is a reason why men bring hookers or strippers to the house. And it’s not for them to strip. If that was the case they would have found the local strip club and brought him there. You really can’t be the naive. And to be there for 6 hours lmao…yea ok just stripping. I’m sorry bee but what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Your lucky you found out as much as you did. There is a lot more that your not going to find out. 

    Post # 70
    Member
    2917 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I find it interesting that some bees are commenting about how their partners have attended bachelor parties similar to this and the other men hooked up with the strippers, but their partners definitely didn’t, but OPs fiancé obviously screwed around on her. Right. I would bet a lot of the bees on this post who are adamant that their husbands would never take part in something like that just don’t know that their husbands have in fact taken part in a party like this.

    OP your fiancé fucked up, but without knowing more about your relationship and who he is as a person I don’t think this once instance means he’s a cheating scum bag.

    I also disagree with the whole you are you hang out with thing, my husband has friends who make questionable decisions, he likely wouldn’t become friends with them if they were to meet now but they’re people he grew up with. He is nothing like them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have a friendship. 

    I think you have a right to be upset but some of these comments are so dramatic and jumping to so many conclusions. 

    Ladyluck227 :  

    Post # 71
    Member
    9672 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    I get what you’re saying but what do you think they did for six hours? 

    futuremrs2020 :  

    Post # 72
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    futuremrs2020 :  Oh pretty sure my ex husband cheated on my ass when he went to his friends party’s. Along with many other times. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    2711 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    Ladyluck227 :   5 strippers for 6 hours for the 8 off them? Yeah no, don’t be naive,  they were sex workers and the guys participated in sexual acts, your fiance as well.  Get yourself checked for std’s.

    Post # 74
    Member
    8783 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Ladyluck227 :  After your update, it’s pretty clear that you’re going to be mad for a while, then agree to some new “boundaries” and carry on. Exploiting a disadvantaged person and celebrating your upcoming marriage by sticking his dick in a sex worker was probably just a one-time thing anyway, so nbd. 

    Post # 75
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I don’t think you’re really overreacting; this is a bunch of bullshit. Per your account, this group of guys has organized very raunchy bachelor parties in the past, so surely your fiance knew what to expect out of this group. If he really didn’t want strippers at the house, he would have made that crystal clear long before the trip even happened. Instead, somehow the guys were unaware of your agreed-upon boundaries. I guarantee that your fiance never even said anything to them beforehand.

    My husband did not want strippers at his bachelor party, and he stood by this and made his wishes known to the groomsmen. Numerous times over several months, some of the groomsmen said they wanted to go to a strip club for his bachelor party, and my husband said, “No, absolutely not. We’re not doing that.” I was present for some of those conversations and witnessed it myself. THAT’S what a guy should do if he really wants to enforce his boundaries. In fact, my husband felt so strongly about this (and also about me not having strippers at my bachelorette — which I wouldn’t have wanted anyway), that we decided to do a joint bachelor/bachelorette bar crawl instead, so that there would be no chance of the groomsmen surprising him with strippers somehow or any other such shenanigans. I know the joint party thing isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but my point is that if your fiance didn’t really want this exact situation to unfold the way it did, he would have made sure there was no ambiguity about what was and wasn’t acceptable. 

    Post # 76
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    In my opinion, you overreacted. You ruined his bachelor party. He’s a grown man, you’re not his mother. I would be so annoyed if my fiance called me and was so involved in my bachelorette. It would make me think twice of whether or not I want to be with someone who reacts in such a manner. 

    Bee, I’m saying this and I am against strippers and stripclubs. 

    Post # 77
    Member
    890 posts
    Busy bee

    caitlinbee :  Soo… you can’t have read the entire post if that was your takeaway. Are you inviting male prostitutes to your home and lying about it? Did your bachelorette involve ignoring boundaries you and your fiance set? Yeah, I guess she ruined his good time potentially having sex with exploited women by being upset and attempting to call.  

    Post # 78
    Member
    638 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    OP, are you still moving forward with the wedding?! When you know deep down inside your Fiance had disrespected you by lying to you, crossing boundaries that YOU TWO have set together, “letting” his friends hire strippers/hookers against your wishes, being shady AF, gaslighting and blaming you for ruining his party and his friend’s marriage (!!!!), and not feeling any remorse for doing all of the above?! He has shit friends and he is shit.

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