(Closed) Over-sensitivity to kissing and touching…

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’ve not experienced the problem, but I’m sure you are not alone!

Have you tried initiating? Why don’t you go about touching him when you’re in the mood and he can just lay back and let you have at it. Then everything will be on your terms and you’ll be in control. I imagine that might help.

Post # 4
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

@jprado:  I am VERY sensitive to touch. I don’t like it. I’m not affectionate; never have been, and I don’t foresee that changing..ever. However, Darling Husband understands that is ISN’T HIM, it is genuinely me. There are times (when I initiate sex) that it doesn’t bother me and I’m much more receptive to his touch/caress. You should definitely initiate it and see if that helps. Darling Husband is a very affectionate person, and will often want to play with my hair, rub my arm…but it literally feels like grating nails on a chalkboard to me. I don’t know why. I’ve ALWAYS been this way. You are not alone! PM me if you need anyone to talk to; I’m always here ๐Ÿ˜‰ I don’t know if there is an actual condition that would cause this; I’ve never thought to look it up..I just assumed it was how I am. (However, I think my particular issues stem from a history of sexual abuse by a relative- I don’t know what could be causing your problem, if there IS a cause.)

Post # 5
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Have you looked into switching bcp? (if relevant) I was on a bcp once that made hugging seem like the worst thing in the world. I have since switched and everything has been golden!

Post # 6
Member
9108 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have to suggest counseling.  Sexual problems tend to be quite treatable in therapy.  I’m sorry you are going thru this, it sounds awful.

Post # 7
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

Hey I used to get this often and get it every now and again. I think it is because I am SUPER sensitive. Physically I mean (emotionally too! ;p lol) but what I mean is…it’s like tickly or something. I’m not good with certain items of clothes touching my skin and irritating it and annoying it. I’m not too good with physical contact in general (cuddles from friends etc) and I think it is all linked; and sometimes I just can’t stand to be touched. What worked for me was being touched HARDER if that makes sense, so rather than a caress, a pat. Somethign definite. I don’t like the feather-light touches or hair stroking or knee rubs. I’d rather a firm pat on the bum. Even in bed, I generally prefer a hardertouch. This may help you? I find it not as icky and tickly and weird but nice and attractive.

 

How are you with girlfriends hugging you or, strangers touching you, or going to the hair dressers etc? I hate that kind of physical contact generally and I don’t go get my hair done or nails done coz of not liking being touched and I think it is linked too. Like a PP said, when I initiate it makes me feel better coz it is not unwelcomed if that makes sense.

 

I would talk about it with your husband and talk about maybe having harder touch sessions where you initiate. Luckily my fiancee is similar and so neither of us get too offended with shuddering/ wiggling away x

Post # 8
Member
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

A quick google search comes up that it might be a mild form of social anxiety. You are hyper aware of everything around you, and thus touch becomes uncomfortable.

 

My solution, before seeking a medical doctor’s help would be to get a couple glasses of wine in you and see how it goes from there. You might just need to relax and shut down that part of your brain for a while.

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

@jprado I am so glad it helped! ๐Ÿ™‚ I was a bit retisent about origninally posting my comment incase people thought i was referring to ‘roughness’, which is not what I meant. I more heavy touch makes me much more comfortable, so I am so happy it works for you too. Yay! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Enjoy your week too! It’s raining LOTS here in my part of the UK but works done and I’m home in my jammies awaiting the H2B and Brother-In-Law2B! x

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