(Closed) Over-sexualizing weddings?

posted 7 years ago in Traditions
Post # 47
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@kittyfinn:  Ok, you want the real deal? You want to know WHAT your groom would do with your highly stylized boudior photos….He’s gonna wank. He is gonna wank MONOGAMOUSLY! Some women get really offened by porn and see men looking at porn as cheating. Well, this isn’t cheating. It is you. I would much rather my Fiance wank to me then some blond bimbo with size 48FF breast.

So there. That is a perfectly legitimate reason for a boudior shoot.

Post # 48
Member
13563 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I had a garter toss and it was as tame and playful as could be. We played the Mission Impossible soundtrack in the background. Everyone laughed. I was wearing my garter right above my knee, so my husband just grabbed it and then my part was done.

Totally up to every bride whether to have the garter toss, but it’s not an inherently sexualized thing. Just depends on how you do it. 🙂

Post # 49
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We just live in over-sexualized times, period. Also, with things like Facebook and Pinterest, people just put whatever they want out there, and don’t think about how others will react to it. But you also can’t speak for how EVERYONE will react. I personally find the garter toss less awkward than couples gushing about the amaaaaaazzzzing time they had on their honeymoon!

Post # 50
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee

@kittyfinn:  I understand your thoughts on the garter thing, but in my opinion boudoir shots are in no way similar to showing off the bloody sheets. Boudoir photos are a private thing, between the bride and groom, and often no one else ever sees them. They are also not necessarily wedding related, because plenty of women do them for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, or birthdays. For me, personally, I would like to do them for my wedding because I’ve already given my SO my virginity and sex- I would like to do something special for him on our wedding night besides the same things we normally do, or just buying new lingerie.

But I’ve seen weddings where the dresses were sheer, form-fitting, cut down to the belly in front or butt in the back, cut up high etc. I’ve seen bridesmaid dresses appropriate for a strip club, etc. I’m not in any way saying there is anything wrong with wanting to feel sexy on your wedding day- everyone wants to feel attractive, especially on this super-important day- but there are somethings no one should see.

Post # 51
Member
9820 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I never seen anything extremely sexual at a wedding other than a garter toss.  And even then the ones I’ve seen haven’t been too shocking to me.  Most of the time they have a laugh at it (one went in with a headlamp on).  Other than other couples grinding a bit on a dance floor…I haven’t seen much in person.  I guess Pinterest is another matter.  But Pinterest isn’t real life.

I did boudoir photos and I had a GREAT time!  They’re really as much for me as him.  It was a lot of fun really.  They’re pretty PG-13 and they’re beautiful images.  I didn’t use any wedding attire for them (no veils, no white outfits, etc).  And I love seeing how hot I look! haha!  I’d never put them on Pinterest!!!!

Post # 52
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kittyfinn:  I agree with your displeasure over the garter toss. I myself am not doing one, not only because of my discomfort at my parents and grandparents see my husband go up my skirt, but for my Fiance discomfort as well. We are not prudes by any means, and have been active for most of our relationship, but that kind of thing is something I’d prefer for him to do in private.

 

But as far as the boudoir photos, I agree with the other ladies in that they are meant to be PRIVATE between the bride and groom. I did them for my Fiance, and our families will never know. The photog will capture the moment he opens the envelope to get a sneak peak of the rest of the photos, but no one else will be present for that, and that photo will not make the wedding photobook. And while a majority of photogs will post some of the pics online as part of their portfolio, the option IS available to request they not be posted. I have a very conservative family and people on my FB that are from my church, and preferred not to see my lady melons flaunted other places other than in front of my Fiance.

Post # 53
Member
9555 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Meh. Different strokes for different folks. If you don’t like it, don’t do it at your wedding.

Post # 54
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ForeverBirds:  I was just about to say…before I ever started looking at wedding stuff, I had considered a boudoir shoot for my now Fiance. For a non wedding occasion. Boudoir is not really all that new. And definitely not just for a pre wedding gift.

I’m not going to lie. If I had a picture of Fiance with his shirt off, muscles glistening to look at all the time, I would be in heaven.

Post # 55
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have thought about some of these things too. It really bothers me on wedding shows when the bride and groom are grinding and dirty dancing during the reception. Just so trashy. And I hate really really revealing wedding dresses/bm dresses, but I honestly never have seen any in real life.

I am not doing the garter toss because it is not my thing, but I think you probably can do it in a playful way, as other Bees have said.

As far as boudoir pictures… I don’t understand why they are so attacked. It isn’t everyones thing, but I really enjoyed it. Honestly, I think my Fiance will love the pictures so much more than other ideas I had for him for a wedding gift. Yeah, I don’t plan on displaying the sexy ones of me in lingerie in our home or on the Internet. Maybe my session was different, but there were some really tasteful photos I got. (One is of me from the back wearing a lacy robe, from the top of my shoulders up, and I am looking over my shoulder. You can’t even tell I am wearing lingerie.) I don’t see why that would be inappropriate to display.

I guess my question is, has anyone seen anything trashy at a wedding in person?

Post # 57
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well I honestly thought the OP was just being a tad oversensitive until… I just saw… this…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel so.. awkward. 

 

 

 

Post # 58
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry for the huge picture sizing 🙁

Post # 59
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kittyfinn:  I understand what you mean. ;p 

Post # 60
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@kittyfinn:  I’m with you on some of these pinterest things I see and I just think “EWWW”

I also always have to chuckle when I watch say yes to the dress and so many women say they want to look “sexy” instead of the words I would pick like “classy” or “glamorous.”  on the whole I think it’s sad that our society has such a sex obsessed attitude that the term “sexy” as almost synonymous with “beautiful.”  such a creepy lesson for young girls, but I digress…

I want to say different strokes for different folks, and to an extent I will.  It’s your wedding pornify it however you want.

At the same time I’m also one who sees a bride as more a host to her wedding guests, than a goddess to be worshipped on her wedding day.  certainly they aren’t mutually exclusive, but if your need to feel like a sex symbol is weirding out your guests you probably aren’t being a very good hostess.

 

Post # 61
Member
1090 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kittyfinn:  I’m definitely no prude, but some of the stuff I’ve seen on pinterest makes me say…really? There’s a pic floating around of a bride who is half undressed with her groom standing in front iof her and her bra and panties have been edited to be red. Makes me gag.

There’s also another of the bride and groom against a wall and the brides dress is hiked up to see her garter, while the groom has this cheesy look on his face. Double gag.

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