Post # 17
If you are all really close and getting married in the same year, why not have one big weekend for all of you or a combined bridal shower? That way it keeps the costs down and everyone still gets to have a good time. I think it would be so fun to have a weekend with four brides all together!
Otherwise I don’t know how you can be expected to pay for all the dresses, flights etc etc in addition to your own wedding.
Post # 18
I can’t believe people think its ok to waste so much money on a bachelorette party. I think that staying in your own city, or even a couple hour drive and one night in a reasonable hotel is the most you should expect from your friends. And even that is pushing it depending on your friends (if you know they all can afford something like a few hundred dollars, fine). But why do you need plane tickets, a full weekend, and not to mention the dress prices (way to much IMO) and the bride expects a gift! Sorry OP, your friends probably mean a lot to you and there really isn’t anything you could do without offending them, so I guess you are kind of stuck, I would just make sure that you make sure you get your weekend to shine!
Post # 19
I’m really glad this is not a “thing” in my circle, or I would just be turning them down. I’m on a tight budget, weddings are strain enough. I’m not having a bachelorette at all (I don’t want one) but I’ve never known anyone to do anything more than a party bus and some bar hopping.
Post # 20
A couple summers ago, I was in 3 wedding parties..So I had to buy 3 dresses, plan 3 bachelorette parties, 3 showers, 3 shower gifts, 3 wedding gifts…..I added it all up. I spent almost $3000 that summer (I guess that averages to about $1000 per wedding)
The thing is, yes, it was a lot of money, but these are my friends. They are only getting married once (wishful thinking) and I think it was money well spent because we created memories that will last a lifetime.
I think its important that if you are asked to be a bridesmaid, ask the bride what is expected of you. If you feel like it will be hard for you to contribute (either time or moneywise) then respectfully decline. Honesty is the best policy 🙂
Post # 21
@jlynn14: why wouldnt you do a 4 in 1 party…very big very eloborate. even a weekend at a resort… i would love that if i had friends getting married now
Post # 22
Not to play devils advocate, but if you asked someone to be a bridesmaid, and they were ready to buy a dress, stand up with you on your day, help plan a shower, etc, but stated they couldn’t afford say…. a jaunt to Vegas, would you prefer that they decline being your bridesmaid at all? I’m just curious.
My SO is the best man in his brother’s wedding. He can’t afford to go back to his home country for the bach party. He’s still the best man. He’s helping another groomsman plan, but he can’t go. We just can’t afford it.
Post # 23
I’m glad my group of friends hasn’t really latched on to these kinds of parties. For all our married friends, the “bachelorette parties” were usually sleepovers, maybe a club for a few drinks. That’s it. Drinks, games, movies, whatever, but all low-key, and cost-effective.
I don’t understand the need for these OTT parties, but maybe it’s a personality thing. I told my Wedding Party there is no way I was going bar-hopping with a penis necklace or anything, so don’t even think about it.
We’re having a girls’ night sleepover at my MOH’s house. I don’t know what she has planned, but I’m glad to know it won’t be putting anyone in the red. FH and his guys are doing a camping trip.
OP, your update about each bride wanting their own time to shine is kind of gross. I can understand maybe not wanting to share a bridal shower (plus that would be really long anyway) but a bachelorette is usually just kind of a social, unstructured thing anyway. Why does each girl need her own expensive bachelorette, especially if you’re all friends? That seems selfish to me, to be honest. I hate when people try to spend other people’s money.
Post # 24
@jlynn14: In my circle we would never do anything more than go out together in the nearest major city… MAYBE pay for a hotel if it’s too far from home to take a cab.
Yeah, I think that if you can’t afford it, you should gracefully bow out of the bachelorette parties and be more frugal about the showers. I thnk since they are your group of friends, they will want you to be there and they will be willing to work out a way so that it is more affordable, like combining bachelorette parties and whatnot.
Post # 25
- Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada
I am actually really against really eleborate bachelorette parties. It just seems like everyone is trying to top each other these days. I have to choice but to have a destination wedding (I’m Swedish, Fiance is Canadian, we live in the UK so…) and from day one I was very insistant to my BMs that I wanted something classy, fun and affordable for my bachelorette party. For me it’s about having a good time with my friends, not about how much it costs or to have something to brag about. I don’t think it being expensive makes it any better, having all my friends there is what does.
As it is now I actually have friends flying in from Sweden to attend my 1 day bachelorette. Even a few that can’t make it all the way to Canada for the weddinf is coming for this to celebrate with me that way instead. To me having them there is the most important thing, what we do is secondary.
Post # 26
If I were you, I wouldn’t attend any of the bachelorette parties that are out of town. Those dresses are CRAZY prices and you have your own wedding to pay for!