Post # 1
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
It’s been over a week since the accident that changes our lives forever. Here are the things I have to be thankful for: His intracranial pressure is under control. His ead CTs show the injury beginning to heal. He got the surgery he needed on his broken leg. He came off of sedation today and I got to see him open his eye a bit and feel him squeeze my hand. Most of all, he is still alive.
But now that the terror is over and reality is setting in, I am feeling so, so angry. I’m angry that he has to be in pain. I’m angry that I won’t have my husband back for a long time, if ever. I’m angry at the son of a bitch to did this to us. I’m angry that the money we will get from the insurance companies won’t even cover his medical bills. I’m angry because I’m all alone. I’m angry at every driver I see doing something stupid. I am angry at people who I thought were my friends, who never offered to do so much as come and visit me while I am sitting in the hospital.
I miss my husband so much. All I want is for him to know that I am there and that I love him, and he can’t show me that yet. It’s just not fair.
Post # 3
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
I can’t even imagine. I am so sorry. No one should ever, ever have to experience anything like this. I’m praying for both of you. If you need anything, you know we’re all here for you.
Post # 4
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
I know I can’t do anything to really help, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about everything that’s happened to you and your husband. I hope he has a smooth recovery and that you find the resources you need to take care of yourself along the way. It’s so not fair, and you have every right to feel angry. Hang in there!
Post # 5
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
:HUGS: I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like, all different emotions running through. Your very strong and I pray that your husband makes a full recovery
Post # 6
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee
I’m so sorry. 🙁
I got attacked by three guys on the street 10 years ago, and came away with an MTBI. I had a lot of anger for a long time, and fear too. It took a long time for both to go away… and my recovery was much much easier than Justin’s.
I hope that you’re able to talk to someone about all this! I didn’t and in retrospect, it took me a lot longer to deal with the anger/fear than it would have otherwise.
Sending you all the love in the world… and wishing both you and Justin a healthy recovery!
Love,
Mr. Bee
Post # 7
Member
39 posts
Newbee
I know nothing can be said to make it better, but know you have a whole lot of suppor there! Thinking of you and wishing you the best!!
Post # 8
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
Our hearts and prayers our with you. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I hope everything works out for the best.
Post # 9
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
Big hug! You have every right to be anger!
Post # 10
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
I’m so glad he’s coming around. I remember the first post and my heart dropped. Remember, at the end, you’ll still have him.
With that said, anger is normal. My Father-In-Law was in a nearly deadly motorcyle accident last year which nearly killed him. We were relieved through the entire healing process, but we were furious at him and everyone involved for the accident, both rational and irrational factors. Be there for him and be supportive. Go see someone for counselling to help you resolve those feelings without taking it out on Mr. Macintosh.
Post # 11
Member
1618 posts
Bumble bee
Oh girl… I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now. And buy you a punching bag. I don’t have a lot of experience with grief or loss (and I suspect what you are feeling right now is grief for your life before this accident), but from what I have observed, anger is a very, very common feeling. As to how to overcome it, all I can say is time, living in the present, and learning to be thankful for what you do have vs. what you have lost. And right now, a week after the accident, I don’t think anyone expects you to be able to find your zen so if I were your friend, I would tell you to not hold yourself to unrealistic expectations. Your zen WILL come with time and as you and your husband work your way through this.
My heart is still, and always, with you.
Post # 12
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’m so sorry. It’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to live through that, and neither should your husband. You shouldn’t have to go through all of the terror and anguish and financial burden and everything else. You two did nothing wrong. So yea… you have a right to be angry. Shitty shitty situation.
I am really glad to hear that he seems to be doing better. I remember your first post and at that point you thought there was almost no hope. Now there is a lot of hope, it seems, that there could be a recovery– so that at least is amazing.
Once things are a bit more stable, a counselor would probably be a good idea to help work through your feelings about all this.
Also, on the financial side, I would consult a lawyer very soon about all of that. It seems insane to me that the insurance wouldn’t cover the bills. I know that is probably the least important item on your list right now— but before you make any decisions about settlement or anything— please talk to an attorney and make sure you understand all of your rights.
Post # 13
Member
2436 posts
Buzzing bee
I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not sure how much my pity will help you right now.
I’m angry for you. I’m sad for you. I’m touched by your devotion to your husband, and I’m sending you all of my well wishes. I’m hopeful for a steady recovery. I understand frustration with friends who don’t notice, or don’t care enough to make you feel less alone.
Best wishes, to you, your husband, and your families. Take breaks when you need to. Fret when you need to. Cry when you need to. And laugh when you need to.
Post # 14
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
Macintosh,
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. When you go through something that unfair and just plain awful, there is no good way to put it in perspective. I went through a terrible time a few years ago, and I hated it when people said, “everything happens for a reason.” Because, as you know, sometimes life sucks, and there is no good reason behind things happening- things just happen. I too was extremely angry. It is normal to feel that way, but remember in this trying time to take some time to focus on yourself and your needs. Maybe seeing a counselor would help, or taking walks, or writing in a journal (or here!), or something else.
Please know that I am thinking about you. I’m so glad that your husband has shown such resilience and strength as he has undergone the procedures, and I hope that in time he will make a full recovery.
Post # 15
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
@CorgiTales: +1
oh honey, you have every right to feel all of these feelings. It’s absolutely not fair. I wish I had all the right words to say to you 🙁 But absolutely look into Corgi’s advice and look into lawyers – it’s unfathomable that on top of having this happen to your lives that you should be stuck with any bills in this situation.
And as much as counseling gets thrown around on the Bee, you should definitely have someone to talk to down the road. You’re going through so many emotions – this is so much for one person to handle.
Continuing to send all the best for your husband’s recovery!
Post # 16
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
I would be angry too. I would be stark raving mad. People do stupid things and put others in danger and the price you and your husband are paying is far beyond what anyone should ever live through. But I am so, so, so glad that Justin is doing better and I hope each day brings more and more good news. xo