(Closed) Overcome by anger about my husband's accident.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This summer my mom was in the ICU for many weeks, had many surgeries, and we had no idea if she would pull through. She was in an out of an induced coma/sleep, on many machines, and it was terrifying.

Getting angry helped, and this sounds crazy, but it was a relief from feeling sad or scared or wanting to cry and scream daily. So I got angry! It is almost a defense from the overwheming sadness. It was easier yo see her when I was angry because I didn’t want her or my family to see me crying, you know?

Please take care of yourself, and know our thoughts and prayers are with you!

 

Post # 18
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

This is a completly normal reaction. Your allowed to be angry, mad, sad, etc. Your allowed to feel anything you want to feel.

 

Are there any counselors available at the hospital? I work on a floor at the hospital that takes care of patients after traumatic accidents, spinal cords, brain injuries, etc and we have 2 counselors available for both the patient and families. Ask to speak to a social worker, they should be able to put you in touch with one.

 

Hugs

Post # 19
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I have been thinking about you all week. I am SO mad for you, I am so SAD for you. I want to cry and scream. I know this has to be the hardest thing you have ever gone through. 🙁 Major internet hugs. I just wish I was there for you in person!

Post # 20
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am sorry that you are going through this. I can’t even imagine what it’s like. Just know that whatever you are feeling is perfectly alright. I’m keeping you both in my thoughts.

 

Post # 21
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Your post completely brought me to tears.

I have so much hope for you, and my Fiance and I both have been praying for the two of you.

I’m so incredibly happy that your husband has woken up, though, and that he was able to squeeze your hand. I hope he continues to show progress.

I think it’s completely understandable to be angry right now. I think you’ll be experiencing a whole whirlwind of emotions by the time this is over. Hang in there, we love you. <3

Post # 22
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

I think given what you have been going through your reasons for being angry are valid. You can vent any time you need to. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am sorry that your friends have let you down by not being there for you and I am sorry you feel alone. But happy to hear of your husbands progress. This is going to be a long road but I am hopeful for you. Channel all that anger into motivation to help your husband with his recovery.  Hugs

Post # 23
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

your anger is completly understandable and you have every right to be pissed off at the world in general. you are so strong and your husband is very very lucky to have you by his side. hell im angry for you and sad that this happened to your family. keep your chin up hun things are looking up

my thoughts are (and have been) with you and justin hoping for for a fast and full recovery

Post # 24
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

Be angry right now! Don’t hold it inside. Scream at things, try not to be too mean to people, but it’s understandable if you do. Punch, scream, cry, be angry at god. So many times in life we have to go through things rather than around them. You’ll see that eventually the anger will release you.

Post # 25
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Macintosh:    Firsts of all congratulations, you are right where you are supposed to be.

I can completely feel for you, I was in your situation 2 years ago. My SO was in a motorcycle accident and the doctors gave him a 20% chance to live. I was at that hospital day and night just sitting with him and talking to him while he was in a sleep induced coma. I would just sit for hours and like you I had no one to talk to except this one lady who became a very good friend because of our talks. Through it all I had faith that my SO would come home to me and our puppy.

So here we are two years later and life will never be back to the way it was pre accident, and we accepted it and moved on. It took a while for him to make his recovery thus far. So if you ever need to talk to someone please PM me and I would be happy to give you my number. 

and just so you understand my first sentence, there are 5 phases of grief and loss,

1-denial

2- anger

3-bargaining

4- depression

5-acceptance

so that is why I said congratulations, you are on your road to recovery, and soon Justin will.

again if you need someone to talk to please let me know, I am available day or night. Have faith!

Post # 26
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am so sorry you’re dealing with this alone.  I know it’s not much, but we will always be here for you no matter what.  You can PM me any time you feel the need to vent, cry, etc.  Hang in there.  Justin knows you love him and will always stand by your side.  Many, many hugs to you.

Post # 27
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I’m not sure if this is possible, but is there a way to start a donations page? We could create something to help with the medical bills? I don’t know how it all really works, but it’s worth a shot!

 

Macintosh, you and your husband are in my prayers!

Post # 28
Member
9832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

*HUGS* Macintosh, all the bees are here for you!

Post # 29
Member
687 posts
Busy bee

Sending more hugs and support to you and your husband, Macintosh.

Harley1313 has some really good advice, as does CorgiTales. Keep updating us on your condition (and your husband’s condition!) when possible and we’ll all certainly continue keeping you both in our thoughts and prayers.

Post # 30
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am so sorry.  Please, BE ANGRY for all of those reasons!  You are right, both of you are dealing with something that NO ONE should have to deal with.  Yell at your friends who weren’t and aren’t there for you; they deserve and should know this (within reason).

But, please please PLEASE do not lose your FAITH.  This journey must be unbearable, and I cannot imagine.  But, your husband is still alive.  Stay strong for him, your family and, most importantly, yourself.  You are beautiful, loving and so admirable.  Please continue to stay strong, but also take time to grieve.  We are all thinking, praying, hoping, loving….and everything else for you.  The bee is behind you. xo

Post # 31
Member
2946 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh my goodness!! First of all that is amazing news about Justin. Wow, he actually squeezed your hand. I am in tears of happiness for you.

You have every right to be angry. Furious even. All of what you listed and, unfortunately, some issues that I’m sure are ahead, are completely shitty. My heart bleeds and rages for you. ((Hugs)) We are all here for you. 

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