(Closed) Overcome by anger about my husband's accident.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
9123 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I am so sorry  🙁  What you’re feeling is perfectly normal and yet incredibly shitty at the same time.  After the craziness has died down a bit, I hope you look into counseling to help deal with some of these emotions!!!  It could really help you process everything.  I am keeping you and your husband in my thoughts.

Do your friends know that you could really use their support?  Sometimes in horrible circumstances like these, people are afraid to intrude.  Please consider reaching out to them – I’m sure you will get orders of magnitude more support back from them.

ETA: Saw your update re: looking into counseling.  Apologies for beating a dead horse.  (((HUGS)))

Post # 63
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I am so sorry for the continued pain you are going through, but I will keep praying for you and Justin! I’m glad to hear that there has been progress so far, and I am sending the most positive vibes and good wishes I can toward you. You are in our thoughts every day!

And be angry. Write an angry letter to anyone you need to (just don’t send it). I find this helps me alot. Granted, I’ve never gone through anything as difficult as what you’re going through now, but maybe it will make you feel a little better right after you write it.

And I’m sorry you’re friends aren’t physically being there for you. Sometimes people don’t know how to deal with others’ pain and sorrow. It scares them or they think the best thing to do is stay away and give space. I hope some of your friends come around though, or at least ask you if you need them there. Never forget you have hundreds or even thousands of bees pulling for you and Justin <3

Post # 64
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am so sorry that you are having to go through with this.  This is such a terrible situation that I wish no one had to ever experience.  I cant even imagine.

I am so happy that your husband is doing better!!!  Miracles DO happen!  I am still praying for you both and your families!!!

Post # 65
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am so sorry that you both are going through this. It’s not fair, and you have every right to be angry.

Maybe it will help if you can join an advocacy group against drunk driving or something similar. You could find support from people who are going through something similar and channel your anger towards a positive cause.

I’m praying daily for you and your husband.

Post # 66
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Macintosh:  Of course you’re angry. You have every right to be. This is in infuriating, saddening, devastating situation. Feel what you feel and don’t try to squash it. Allow yourself to be pissed when you need to, and then think of all the positive and hopeful things so that you don’t get lost in that dark place. Stay strong… everyone is praying for you & your husband…

Post # 67
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

@Macintosh:  

You have every right to be angry. I wish you both the very best and will be keeping you, Justin, and your families in my thoughts. I wish I had something to say that would take away the pain but I don’t. Just remember that your husband knows how much you love him. Although he hasn’t completely woken up, he does know you are there. 

You are one of the strongest people I know. 

Post # 68
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You are an amazing woman.  I wish I could do something to make you feel less alone and I don’t blame you for feeling angry.  I love that you are embracing the positives in such a difficult situation. 

It’s also amazing to hear that your husband was able to squeeze your hand. Gosh, saying that just makes me tear up.  Sending tons of prayers and love to you and your husband.  (((((Hugs)))))

Post # 69
Member
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Dear Kim,

I’ll keep you and Justin in my prayers this week. Your feelings are completely justified and understandable. Completely. I pray that those around you will surround you and support you now, so that you do not have to face this by yourself. I am thankful that you mother is doing all she can in the legal department. I hope that those responsible are brought to justice. Most of all I pray that Justin will continue to recover, and that his recovery will be beyond even what we imagine is possible.

Post # 70
Member
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Anger is a healthy and normal reaction to what you’re facing right now.  Keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.  I’m so glad he’s making progress each day, it sounds promising.

Post # 71
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

someone mentioned this earlier, but can we set up a donation page?  I looked online and found this website http://www.gofundme.com/ .  It seems to work similarly to a honeyfund site.  I dont know Mrs. Mac personally enough to feel comfortable that I could get her the money to set it up.  If she is comfortable reaching out to me.. or if someone else here knows her more personally I think a lot of the hive would really like to support her during this time in a tangible way.

Post # 72
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry. 🙁 It really is not fair and you totally have the right to feel angry. Just like Justin needs medical care from the aftermath of this all, don’t forget that it’s okay for you to seek your own care by talking to someone. Maybe your hospital can set you up with others who have been in similar situations so you can talk? Maybe there’s message boards or FB groups? And for sure there are medical professionals (that may even be covered by your insurance) that you can talk to. I’m sure it’s extremely hard, but you have to remember to take the time for yourself to make sure you’re the best you that you can be for Justin. As for those so called friends, their loss I say!  You sound like a great person and they don’t deserve you! If nothing else, one positive that came out of this all was the fact that you now know who you can really count on in life! Also as far as Justin’s medical expenses, would it be possible to start one of those Fundrazr things? Huge hugs!

Post # 73
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was so glad to see that you updated and that Justin is still stable. I’ve been thinking of you guys everyday and I’ve been praying for you too. Anger is totally normal. The situation is completely unfair. I’m glad you’re looking into counseling as well. I’ll continue to keep you & Justin in my thoughts.

Post # 74
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I pray everyday for Justin, and you. HUGS

Post # 75
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@Harley1313:  +100!

Harley1313 – I am glad your SO is on the road to recovery.

Macintosh – you are completely justified in your anger.  You are grieving a life that has been changed forever – you are grieving your and your DH’s lives that weren’t supposed to be this way.  And yes, it absolutely sucks that the person that did this to your DH is leading a normal life.  I went through something similar when my best friend was killed by a drunk driver.  The drunk driver lived (and wasn’t even injured) while my friend died.  You will get through this, I promise.

As far as the medical bills, hospitals have to basically do so much “charity care” in order to keep their tax exempt status.  Once those bills start coming in, you should be able to negotiate with the hospital on them relieving some if not many of the bills that the insurance doesn’t cover.

Post # 76
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sad and angry FOR you, so I can’t imagine how sad and angry YOU must actually be! I’m thankful to hear of your husband’s improvement, and I continue to hope for a full and quick recovery. I’m so glad that you’re looking into counseling as well.

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