(Closed) Overcontrolling MIL…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

she won’t let me know where it is…..I told her I need to know where it is, and she flat-out refused

ive had many “holy crap” moments while reading Bee posts but this literally was the first one that i actually said this outloud!  i dont even know how to rspond to your post other than i couldnt marry a guy that thought this was ok

 

Post # 4
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This is really out there.  I would explain things to her, the way you explained them to us.  If she still refuses, then I think you need to say thanks, but no thanks, and do what you originally planned.

Post # 5
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Run, don’t walk, away from this woman and her “gift.”  And then have a very serious conversation with the man you’re planning to marry about how he could POSSIBLY think this is okay.  I mean…SERIOUSLY!?

Post # 6
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That’s insane. If she wants to plan you a surprise party – then she can have a shower. I would tell her that its completely unacceptable and I would refuse to be a part of the wedding she’s planning.

Post # 7
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldnt put up with this. Your Fiance needs to stand up to her and support you. If that doesn’t work then you need to talk to her. If she still doesnt budge, then say no thanks and you’ll plan your own wedding.

Post # 8
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Ugh no. Unless you’re on an episode of ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’, that’s not okay. And even then, brides AGREE to be out of all the details. What is your fiancé thinking about this? He HAS to realise that is completely unreasonable?

Post # 10
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not only are you not wrong, but clearly, you’re pretty restrained about all this.  I mean, calling her simply an “overcontrolling” FMIL! Whew.  I second the “holy crap” reaction, big time.  And, were you really wondering whether this was in any way okay? That is not at all intended to be a put down of you; not at all.  I just hope you’ll see from the bees’ super strong reactions here that not only are you NOT “crazy”, but you are so in the right here and she is plainly wrong and… out of her mind! Yes, to the bee who said you guys need to decline her little “gift” (ahem).

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

ah! good to hear your Fiance isnt on board with Future Mother-In-Law and her double secret wedding location – thats just nuts…. i mean maybe in some crazy way shes thinking she will surprise you with a FAB reception but considering its rude to flat out refuse and the stress its causing its still nuts

btw what about guests, where they suppose to follow breadcrumbs to the reception?

 

Post # 12
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s crazy! I agree with the other Bees who said to run away from her and her “gift”. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

Post # 13
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

Speechless!  Girl, you better take note.  If she’s like this now, can you imagine what it will be like when you’re married and the grandkids come along? 

I truly am at a loss for words.  I would tell her you are making other arrangements.

Post # 14
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You poor darlin. The woman must be batty entirely. Please, somehow, impress on your man how bad this is. It’s not your birthday party or something, it’s your wedding.  I totally agree with

@MasqueradeMom:  – if you allow her take your decisions away from you, she’ll never stop. 

My heart just goes out to you, and I wish we were all there with you to stand toe to toe with her and make her back down! How have you managed to sort invitations? Has she taken over that too?

If you can’t make drastic changes now, given the time remaining to your wedding, then maybe you can find a way to ensure her input into your lives after the wedding is limited. Nobody should live like that. ((hugs)).

Keep us updated.

Post # 16
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that is crazy! if she doesn’t change her mind, decline her “gift”

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