Post # 1
We were originally going to have a small reception at the church where our ceremony is taking place… It was costing us all of 35$ and I was quite happy with it. When my Future Mother-In-Law finds out, she goes and gets us a reception hall- my fiance allowed this because he wanted a bigger venue so we could have dancing. While I know how generous this was of her, everythings gone downhill since. First, she won’t let me know where it is. When she said this, my jaw dropped. WHAT?! How can I decorate and get table clothes and tell everyone if I don’t know where it is? Then she said that she would take care of the reception, and not to worry about it. Of course, now I’m MORE worried. This wedding is my baby, I have nurtured it into existance and I cannot handle being booted out. I should be able to do and decorate things how I want, not be excluded! Am I overreacting? My fiance said its because she wants it to be a surprise, but that she’s taking it to far. I told her I need to know where it is, and she flat-out refused. She’s letting me pick stuff out and tell her what I like, but not decorate. I can’t handle this! Also, I want a dessert reception, but her and my FGMIL keep insisting I have food too, but they’re not so much offering it as forcing it. I wish we had never accepted her gift, because now I’ve lost all control… Help?
Post # 3
she won’t let me know where it is…..I told her I need to know where it is, and she flat-out refused
ive had many “holy crap” moments while reading Bee posts but this literally was the first one that i actually said this outloud! i dont even know how to rspond to your post other than i couldnt marry a guy that thought this was ok
Post # 4
This is really out there. I would explain things to her, the way you explained them to us. If she still refuses, then I think you need to say thanks, but no thanks, and do what you originally planned.
Post # 5
Run, don’t walk, away from this woman and her “gift.” And then have a very serious conversation with the man you’re planning to marry about how he could POSSIBLY think this is okay. I mean…SERIOUSLY!?
Post # 6
That’s insane. If she wants to plan you a surprise party – then she can have a shower. I would tell her that its completely unacceptable and I would refuse to be a part of the wedding she’s planning.
Post # 7
I wouldnt put up with this. Your Fiance needs to stand up to her and support you. If that doesn’t work then you need to talk to her. If she still doesnt budge, then say no thanks and you’ll plan your own wedding.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
Ugh no. Unless you’re on an episode of ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’, that’s not okay. And even then, brides AGREE to be out of all the details. What is your fiancé thinking about this? He HAS to realise that is completely unreasonable?
Post # 9
My FH doesn’t agree with her, he just agreed with changing the venue… I told him to talk to her, and he said he will tonight, because this is just crazy. Thanks for letting me know I’m not wrong in feeling this way.
Post # 10
Not only are you not wrong, but clearly, you’re pretty restrained about all this. I mean, calling her simply an “overcontrolling” FMIL! Whew. I second the “holy crap” reaction, big time. And, were you really wondering whether this was in any way okay? That is not at all intended to be a put down of you; not at all. I just hope you’ll see from the bees’ super strong reactions here that not only are you NOT “crazy”, but you are so in the right here and she is plainly wrong and… out of her mind! Yes, to the bee who said you guys need to decline her little “gift” (ahem).
Post # 11
ah! good to hear your Fiance isnt on board with Future Mother-In-Law and her double secret wedding location – thats just nuts…. i mean maybe in some crazy way shes thinking she will surprise you with a FAB reception but considering its rude to flat out refuse and the stress its causing its still nuts
btw what about guests, where they suppose to follow breadcrumbs to the reception?
Post # 12
That’s crazy! I agree with the other Bees who said to run away from her and her “gift”. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!
Post # 13
Speechless! Girl, you better take note. If she’s like this now, can you imagine what it will be like when you’re married and the grandkids come along?
I truly am at a loss for words. I would tell her you are making other arrangements.
Post # 14
You poor darlin. The woman must be batty entirely. Please, somehow, impress on your man how bad this is. It’s not your birthday party or something, it’s your wedding. I totally agree with
@MasqueradeMom: – if you allow her take your decisions away from you, she’ll never stop.
My heart just goes out to you, and I wish we were all there with you to stand toe to toe with her and make her back down! How have you managed to sort invitations? Has she taken over that too?
If you can’t make drastic changes now, given the time remaining to your wedding, then maybe you can find a way to ensure her input into your lives after the wedding is limited. Nobody should live like that. ((hugs)).
Keep us updated.
Post # 16
that is crazy! if she doesn’t change her mind, decline her “gift”