(Closed) overestimated ring accident

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Is it wrong for me to be a little disappointed?

    no, I would be too

    yes, you sound selfish

    yes and no, it's unfortunate that he said 1 to 2 (i would think the same) but you should be happy

  • Post # 47
    Member
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion

    You will be happy when you get engaged and probably won’t notice the size. A 1 carat ring will be lovely, and there is certainly something to be said about quality over quantity! Congrats and enjoy!

    Post # 48
    Member
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    SELFISH

     

    Heck, Hubby proposed to me with a ring he borrowed from his mom three weeks before. A few months later I saw a ring in a kmart ad that I fell in love with and it became  mine… I love my silver with peridot stone ring… $30. And I went back and bought a couple more and put them up in the safe in case something happens to mine, I have a replacement.

    Didn’t your parents ever teach you, “its the thought that counts, not the gift itself”!

     

    My 21 year old daughter got engaged 3 weeks before my wedding earlier this year, her ring is beautiful http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3834708' defer='defer not the least bit jealous, and OMG is she so happy. They have been together since 2006 and so grown up for their ages.

    Post # 49
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee

    I’d be bummed, there I said it. But if I knew I would be unhappy then I wouldn’t have made it an option anyway. Do you like 1ct or are you just mad that it’s not 2? You seemed fine when you guys were joking about it. If you knew then that 1 ct would make you unhappy then you should have said 1.5-2cts. I think that if you’re going to ask for (or demand) super expensive things be prepared to compromise.

    Post # 50
    Member
    4554 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    It does strike me as a bit selfish, but what gets me is that it’s also kind of antifeminist.

    It’s the 21st century, lady. If you want a 2ct ring, no one in the world is going to stop you from waltzing into Jared and buying it YOURSELF. You don’t have to wait for a man to get it for you! You have a job, right? Just sock away a little each month, and before long, you’ll be able to get it.

    If you’re thinking “But wait, that’s a lot of money! There are a ton of more sensible things I could spend our money on!” then maybe ask yourself if that’s what HE might have been thinking.

    Post # 51
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Public Service Announcement: if you are basing the beauty and worth of a diamond on carats alone then you don’t know anything about diamonds. Not trying to be snarky.

     

    I would rather have my goregours .81 ct than a 1.5 ct that looks like crystalized pee. All I’m saying is, there is more to compare and consider. Read up on diamonds, check your stone’s stats, actually SEE your ring, and then maybe you’ll have more of a reason to be disappointed.

    In any case, no matter what level of clarity, color, cut, etc……that is not what your love is about. Also, you can always upgrade later in life if it’s THAT important to you.

    I vote selfish..srry.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1588 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    wow, selfish.  Yes.  that’s what I voted for.  Um, shouldn’t you be thrilled that you have a man who loves you and WANTS to marry you?  but you’re already making him feel like shit for a 1 ct ring (which, by the way, is far larger than a lot of rings you see out and about every day.  and is right on par..if not a little larger…than the national average…but who the F cares??) when the “range” you “joked” about clearly included 1ct.  What if he saved his money and decided to get you a flawless, colorless 1 ct diamond, as opposed to a yellow-y 1.7 ct diamond?  Don’t you think the higher quality stone would make more of an impact?  Why are you so hung up on the size?  You haven’t even gotten it yet.  For all you know, your 1 ct stone could look huge on your finger, especially if you have small fingers.  I hope you didn’t hurt his feelings so badly that now he’s wondering why the hell he went to the trouble of picking out a gorgeous stone for you either way…if you were going to joke that 1-2 carats was going to be “acceptable”, maybe you should have stuck to that and instead, been ecstatic that you know a proposal is coming your way.

    Post # 53
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee

    Ya a 1 carat is a great size overall.  I’m not sure why you would be dissapointed. And i think the marrying him part is more important.  Apologize. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I could go both ways on this.  If you hadn’t talked about it, I would say you were being selfish for expecting larger than 1 ct.  But since it sounds like you talked about it many times, it seems like he set the expectation for getting something inbetween 1 and 2 cts.  I would probably thought the same as you, thinking you were truely going to get something inbetween 1 and 2, which doesn’t mean 1, and doesn’t mean 2, it means something inbetween that range.  I feel like when he realized he was going to get you the 1 ct, he should have re-set the expectation so that this didn’t happen.  I think you could make a lot of analogies to this….say my Fiance was surprising me for our anniversary and I asked where we were going for dinner and he said “I don’t want to tell you, but it’s something inbetween Panara and The Palm.”  At the point he says something like that, there’s an expectation that both Panara and The Palm are out of the question, so if he ended up taking me to Panara I would be disappointed.  Does that make me selfish?  I don’t think so but maybe someone else would!  At the end of the day, a 1ct ring is totally awesome, and when you see it and he proposes you will be thrilled!  But, I also see where you are coming from that your expectations were set and now you feel a bit deflated.  I would just have a candid conversation with him and tell him that your immediate reaction was just because you had talked about it a lot and thought he was getting something else, but anything he picks will be perfect! 

    Post # 55
    Member
    794 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @nervouskitty:  you sound very selfish–not to be hard on you but it’s the truth

    he may have said 1 or 2 before he looked into the prices of rings–and before he knew very much about color or clarity

    Post # 56
    Member
    1731 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @nervouskitty:  What happened with this whole situation anyway?  Hindsight is 20 -20 but ring shopping would have helped to figure all this out.  Also was this a solitaire or over many diamonds, what cut of diamonds?  A joke about 1 to 2 carat could land you with yellow gold to sterling silver, pear shape to round shape etc etc.  When we were figuring this out my Fiance asked me to go look for what I wanted and we figured it out together.

    I agree with others though that you marry the man and not the piece of jewerly, the jewerly is just a nice bonus and a way to show everyone your hearts been taken

    Post # 57
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    op hasn’t responded at all has she?

    also, am i the only one who can’t see the poll?

    Post # 58
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    “First World” problems ….

    Post # 60
    Member
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee

     if you really are going to be disappointed be honest now. you’ve already hurt his feelings so don’t try and fix what you said making him believe 1 carat is enough if it isn’t and then be disappointed once you get it and hurt his feelings all over again by wanting an upgrade.  I think 1 carat is a perfect size  so I feel your attitude on size is what really needs fixing. Price range is a HUGE factor in buying a diamond. Maybe his budget could have allowed him to buy you a 1.2 but it wouldn’t have been as good of quality. Sparkly diamonds look bigger..

    Post # 61
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Mrs. Bubb:  I told the same to my guy. Infact, I stated if the whole set cost more then 1 grand, I’d sell it, fix our bikes and buy a cheaper ring.

    He pbviously knew i was…about half kidding. He actually proposed with a family heirloom necklace, and gave me a  budget and told me to pick my ring.

     

    The topic ‘overestimated ring accident’ is closed to new replies.

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