(Closed) overestimated ring accident

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Is it wrong for me to be a little disappointed?
    no, I would be too : (10 votes)
    3 %
    yes, you sound selfish : (301 votes)
    78 %
    yes and no, it's unfortunate that he said 1 to 2 (i would think the same) but you should be happy : (74 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 62
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’m on the fence on this one.  On the one hand, I think 1 carat is plenty big enough, but I guess it depends on you, and your budget.

    I love, LOVE my ring….and it wasn’t cheap.  It’s slightly over 1 carat.  However, my Fiance makes pretttty good money, and I also told him the first time he casually mentioned engagement rings that in this country (US), people will try to tell him to spend 2-3 months salary and absolutely didn’t want him spending that kind of money.  2-3 months of his salary even AFTER taxes would have meant I was walking around with 30,000 dollars on my hand, and I’m not even a “jewelry” person.  I just didn’t want it.

    I told him not to spend more than 1 months salary, but apparently the setting he picked was pricy, so over all, it WAS more than a month’s salary, but not two, so I don’t feel too bad about the price.  He also bought the diamond online and got a great deal–had it set in a setting he picked out in person.  I was thrilled to have this ring, and it’s probably the nicest Engagement Ring in my circle of friends/family and that was with him not spending the “typical” 2-3 months salary.  

    So, I don’t know your financial situation…or your fiance’s.  If he makes over 200,000 a year, and both of you are fairly materialistic when it comes to other things (cars, clothes), and you feel he “cheaped out” on this one area, then I would say…maybe your feelings are justified.  I might have been disappointed if my fiance was driving the newest bmw M3, but “only” spent $14,000 on my ring.  But he’s a simple guy, who saves rather than spend, so I was thrilled that he bought what he did.

    On the other hand, if you guys just talked about a 2 Carat ring without realizing that you’ll absolutely be dropped at least $25,000 on a decent quality stone.  And you all don’t make that much money—then I’d say, you need to apologize profusely, have sex with him twice a day for the next week (heh), and cook him his favorite dinner.  Because my least favorite thing about women are the type who feel they deserve more than what their fiance can realistically afford.

    My two cents! =)

    Post # 63
    147 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think everyone needs to calm down and stop being so harsh on her. It probably took a lof of guts for her to ask such a personal question on the Bee (which we all know and trust and love). GIVE HER A BREAK. just because YOU are happy wit. What you have whether it is a peridot or a 1 carat D color diamond… Everyone is different and needs to be considered as such. 

    Post # 64
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Lol @ bumping an 11 month old thread to berate previous posters

    Post # 65
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    This is a year old and the OP never posted again.

    Post # 66
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I didn’t want my Fiance to spend an exorbitant amount of money or put himself in debt. There are so many other places the money could go than to a stone. We want to buy a house together. That’s much more important to me. The ring is a symbol of our love and commitment… and it symbolizes the same whether it’s .1 carat or 10.0 carats.

    You’ve heard enough of that though lol Believe me, a 1ct stone is a lovely size (larger than mine!). I know sometimes I get overwhelmed looking at the pictures on this site of people sharing their large stones and a bit of jealousy creeps up, but I really do love my ring. Just keep telling him that you were kidding and you will love it no matter what- especially if he carefully picked it himself. If you guys happen to be out and look at rings, try one on that is 1ct and tell him how perfect it is!

    Post # 67
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    By The Way, threads/posters like this make me SO thankful I’m not a guy! Fiance and I discussed basic ring stuff when it first came up so that he wouldn’t feel this awful pressure.

    @HVbride: don’t be jealous! You LOVE your ring, which already puts you ahead of a lot of the game!

    Post # 68
    5317 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Oops, you messed up.

    Apologize, and once you see it, I guarantee you’ll notice right away how large one carat is…. be sure to tell him that (how huge it actually is), repeatedly! Then this wound should heal.

    Post # 69
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I personally can relate to this – before our engagement I would show Fiance my dream ring, ct size and price. His reaction was always positive and the cost never phased him, rather he would comment “oh, that’s not bad at all? That’s all that costs?”.. When we ended up ‘jointly’ selecting my ring we ended up with a .5 ct less than what I thought would be the minimum. No big deal, I could have pushed for a bigger rock but I ended up loving the quality of my 1ct, as well as the lesser cost. When it comes dowm to forking over cold hard cash it’s really hard to justify going over an already enormous price point – especially when the 1ct is far more than “substantial”.

    Bottom line, I love my ring even though it was smaller than we initially envisioned. I can’t imagine being disappointed with the sparkler on my finger. Just wait till you get Yours! In the meantime you better do something so extra special for that FH of yours!


    Post # 70
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    There’s no way you could actually tell the ring was 1.0 instead of 1.2 carats unless you had both sizes side-by-side. 1 carat is big – 2 carats is HUGE. Just be happy and grateful that your man got you a 1 ct! It’s in the range he said, and you’re going to get ENGAGED!

    Post # 71
    1762 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @nervouskitty:  Yep…you’re coming off as selfish. I’m sure he did  the very best he could, and 1 carat is plenty large. 

    Post # 73
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Seriously SELFISH! Honestly, if you’re more concerned about the carat size then you are the man’s feelings who purchased the ring for you, then I don’t think you have the maturity to be getting married.

    I feel horrid for your would be fiance having this time in his life tinted by your selfishness. Guys reserve a lot of courage to ask the big question. Frankly the number one concern he should have getting on one knee is whether you’ll say yes to him. It should not be whether he’s bought a big-enough diamond for your self-important finger. Joking or not, your comments were cruel. 


    The topic ‘overestimated ring accident’ is closed to new replies.

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