Overly jealous or justified?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

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mindzoo :  wtf. how rude. who even says that in front of their girlfriend. id find that very disrespectful and embarrasing. no girl, youre not being overly jealous. lol.

Post # 4
Member
11330 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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mindzoo :  

How old is this ‘friend’?  Fifteen?

And, your bf should have shut this crap down right away.

Post # 6
Member
2857 posts
Sugar bee

This sounds like high school. I remember your previous threads. Are you still having doubts about your boyfriend?

Post # 7
Member
11330 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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mindzoo :  

This really shouldn’t be a matter of which of you is ‘better’, that’s quite juvenile.  Your bf should have made it clear to his jejune little pal that discussions of his ex gf were not going to be happening.

Post # 8
Member
6328 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Friend’s comments about a past girlfriend are juvenile; your bf stepping out to state you’re hotter would be equally juvenile.  The mature thing for your bf to do is convey to his friend in no uncertain terms that this subject is off limits.

Post # 9
Member
9015 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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mindzoo :  jumping to conclusions but you all sound very young. Grown ups would shut this shit down by saying the topic of conversation is not appropriate and disrespectful.

Post # 10
Member
5053 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t know why you would be jealous.  He isn’t with her.  He has given no indication that he wants to be with her – he was and it ended.

Was it an insensitive thing to say?  Sure, mostly instigated by his friend and I’m sure whatever response he gave would have landed him some sort of argument from you no matter what.  If he denies she is hot, you’ll argue he is lying.  He says nothing, you get pissy he didn’t say anything to “defend you”.  He makes a comparison and now he is in an argument trying to make his friend objectify his current girlfriend and then you’ll probably get upset at that.

So, sure, be upset that he didn’t say the “right thing”…But jealous?  Surely you are aware there are people out there “hotter” than you or that “hotness” is subjective based on individual tastes, right?  You are going to live a long miserable life comparing yourself to others and being jealous of the past.

Post # 11
Member
2635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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mindzoo :  This problem is so inane… it literally hurts. Your ex sounds like a jerk for saying those things to your face but your current BF also does not have to stroke your ego in front of you and his friend. “Yeah… but my girl now is hotter and better”… yuck that just makes me cringe. 

Post # 12
Member
5019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Personally I think you are overreacting.  I’m getting flash backs to Hot or Not.  It isn’t a competition.  Other women can be attractive and hot without diminishing your own beauty.  If your boyfriend is constantly complimenting others without acknowledging you that’s a problem but I think its perfectly okay to notice and appreciate another persons beauty.  It’s hard to say for sure whats going on here with so few details.

Post # 13
Member
10628 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

But what if you aren’t the hottest? 

Sorry, I can’t take this situation seriously cause it’s just so juvenile. There are way more important attributes than being hotter than so and so.

Post # 14
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

It’s kind of immature for your boyfriend’s friend to talk about how hot his ex was in front of you, but honestly I wouldn’t put too much thought into it… they probably don’t think it bothers you. Plus there’s more to life than being hot lol.

I remember about two years into dating my (now) husband, my friend tagged me in a picture on Instagram that my ex had posted of himself shirtless showing off his fit physique at the gym. (Don’t even get me started on how socially unaware she is).  I obviously found it TOTALLY inappropriate (and super awkward?!) and my husband was kind of like, “what the fuck?” Lol. I just messaged my friend telling her it wasn’t really appropriate to tag me in it and that it understandably bothered my husband and she apologized and has been more respectful. I think sometimes people just aren’t aware that they could be hurting someone else’s feelings. If it comes back up in conversation all your boyfriend has to say is “‘meh.” And change the subject if it makes either of you uncomfortable. 

Post # 15
Member
2728 posts
Sugar bee

PLEASE just dump this guy already

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