(Closed) Overnight guests?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think at this point you could let them know of the situation (no A/c, pull out sofa, and bathroom) so that they can make their own decision. I’d make sure to know that you’d love to have them stay with you that night but wanted to make sure they were aware of the situation so they could bring appropiate pajamas, etc.

Post # 4
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yes, I think it would be polite to the guests to tell them about the bathroom situation and no AC, just so they know.  (Also then maybe they won’t stay over and you won’t have to worry about it anymore. ;P)

I think you and your SO might need to have a discussion about how/when to invite people to stay! Ugh. . .

Post # 5
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We always ask each other first, and it’s never been a problem!

Post # 7
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Um, forgot to say– my SO and I don’t have a particular understanding or rules about how we can invite guests, but we do usually discuss it or at least let each other know if one of us has tentatively invited people, with a few days’ warning. Then if the other one doesn’t like that idea for some reason, we can work things out beforehand.

Your SO certainly did put you in a sticky situation there!

 

Post # 9
Member
46371 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Time for the two of you to have a talk and decide on some ground rules. If either of us want to have someone over, or accept an invitation from someone else, we touch base with each other first. It saves many an awkward  situation.

Post # 10
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I hate when Fiance does this. Usually its one of his friends (actually just one in particular that I can’t stand) who asks if she can stay the night while travelling to see her brother (we’re the halfway point of a 3 hour drive). He always asks when he’s on the phone with her and I feel obligated to say yes. After the last time he asked why I was in such a bad mood the whole time. And I said “you know she rubs me the wrong way and I don’t ever want her staying here. And yet the way you ask which forces me to let her stay here. I’m sorry I can’t control my mood when I’m forced into having her sleep under my roof.”  He was confused as to why I said yes to begin with and I explained that by him asking in that way he was forcing me to say yes. So now he won’t ask while he is on the phone with someone or while they are in front of us.

Post # 12
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

That would really frustrate me.  Especially being asked on the spot like that.  You really CAN’T say no or voice your real opinion at that point.  And that’s just not fair.

 

Post # 13
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I would be really irritated about this.  I am very big on personal space.  An hour drive really isn’t that bad.  At least not where I’m from.  If I were the girl in the other couple, I would really want to know about the no A/C, having to go through your bedroom to get to the bathroom thing.  Because I would politely decline.

Post # 14
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

@OneOfTheseDaysAlice: Yikes, that sounds like a really awkward encounter, for both you and the other couple! I’d just sit down and have a talk with your SO and let him know that you’re not comfortable having people spend the night at the apartment, and from now on you’d appreciate him checking with you first. I’d also maybe point out to him why the way he handled it was awkward, so that he knows for the future. 

It sounds like the other couple may not be that into the idea of spending the night anyway (I know for me, now that I’m older and have my own place and everything, I hate sleeping at other people’s houses if there’s any way I can get home) so perhaps if you give them a head’s up about the A/C and bathroom situation, they’ll take it as an “out.” Then at least you won’t have that to worry about and you can just deal with making sure your SO doesn’t do it again!

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