(Closed) Overopinionated Groom: You care about WHAT?!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 47
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Brimenon:  I thought I was the only one too!  My mom thinks it’s absolutely insane!  I think she definitely expected it to be a mother-daughter planning experience, not a mother-daughter-groom triangle!

Post # 48
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@orchidaloha:  my Fiance is EXACTLY the same! I don’t understand why favors are so important to him!!

Post # 49
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mu_t:  I can completely relate! My fiance did the same thing about a cake topper off of etsy and i was shocked because he normally is laid back and lets me pick out whatever I want. However there have been several things that he has been opinionated on that I was just flabergasted! But it is his wedding as well, so I conceded on my views to make room for his lol. 

Post # 50
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

our registry he was really into. in fact, most of the things that have been purchased were things he wanted. (I’m still waiting for my food processor) 


other than that he’s been really into random things, his suit is a big one, i get no say in it what-so-ever, or what the guys are wearing. the favors(his favorite soda from wisconsin), a tophat for the cake topper, which I had to make. He’s done a lot of things for the guys that I also had no say in. He was also really persitant on not having fondant for the cake. 

He really wanted to be there when I went dress shopping but I had to veteo that one, I want him to be surprised. 

The only other big thing was trying to agree on a reception site. I told him no ballrooms or banquet halls. i had a list of about 30 places that i liked and he narrowed it down to 3 that he liked. Thankfully one of those places we fell in love with!!



Post # 51
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

He’s just as opinionated as I am on things, but I don’t see that as unusual or inappropriate of him. I never really bought into the idea that the wedding was supposed to be the bride’s day.

Since the OP mentioned cake toppers, my Fiance is VERY opinionated on cake toppers… in fact… so far, he hates all cake toppers he has seen. Going well huh? lol. But he’s just picky (like me) and his reasons are completely valid. We’ll find the topper, and everything else, that’s right for us.

Post # 52
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ykyegbride:  my fi is so excited he gets to go shoe shopping because he doesn’t own “acceptable” brown shoes.

Post # 53
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

My issue with my dear fiance is not that he has an opinion. Its that he chooses months out from a wedding weve been planning for 2 and a half years to be picky. Its driving me mad, all the ideas ive had for years – up in smoke

Post # 54
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mu_t:  same here! He’s always been very relaxed, so I thought I’d attend the appointments with my vision, and just run the final product by him before booking. Nope! He wants to be present at the appointments and has taken a particular interest in flowers (the one area I’d really prefer he’d let me handle). I am very grateful that he is there for the support and he’s interested in this whole process, but I’d prefer if he gave me the veto power on vendors! Smile 

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@stardustintheeyes:  OMG! This made me laugh, because this is something my fiancé would go for too! And just like you, there’s no way in hell any cake resembling that is showing up at our wedding. Gotta love ’em!

Post # 55
4 posts
  • Wedding: January 2014

i’m sorry to rant but oh my goodness, i think that these gentelmen need to learn their place. i’m going to tell my Fiance that I’m calling off the wedding because of the planning experience. my parents are paying and all ive heard from my groom is how embarassed he is that our wedding isnt at a country club, how im the worst person in the world for suggesting we cut the guest list, how i am a terrible bride and my parents are irresponsible for not saving since the day i was born for my (his) wedding – my parents helped with college and are being VERY generous with the wedding, I could not be more grateful and they are adamant about paying for the wedding and would be very hurt if i told them that the nice wedding they can afford isnt good enough.

my groom treats me like i work for him (and like i dont have feelings), he HAS to approve anything wedding related but cant lift a finger to help, his only two oppinions are “that is terrible” and “that’s fine”.

i try to let him choose things that wont mean increasing the budget like colors, cake flavors, playlists, but all he says are things like – i dont care as long as it isnt tacky, no one in my family has done that/not done that, my friend says he wouldnt want a wedding without XYZ, if you were a real bride you would care about making this nice and tell your parents that we HAVE to have XYZ, you wanted to get married so i guess youll have to take care of this, its your mom/MOH’s job to help you, i would die of embarassment just telling my friends/family that you would consider serving XYZ having it at XYZ location, ewwww.. you want a USED dress!? etc, etc, etc. nothing is good enough and i honestly think that if i go through with this he will never forgive me for “ruining” his dream wedding. he says he isnt being mean and that i should thank him for not letting me have a cheap/tacky/embarassing wedding. you only get one (first) wedding and i really don’t want it to be with him. has anyone else been at this point with their groomzillas? 

Post # 56
31 posts
  • Wedding: December 2019

I did not realize that having a penis means I am not allowed to have opinions.  Thank you all for correcting me before I became confused and started to believe my role in the wedding (and marriage!) went beyond showing up and paying for things.

I am thankful for a fiancee who respects me, respects my opinions, and thinks of me as a partner.  Neither of us is getting everything we want for our wedding.  We are learning to work together, and it’s a great dress rehearsal for our lives together.

Post # 58
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My DH told me I didn’t need ANY flowers for the wedding. So, I ordered my bouquet, bridesmaid flowers, and bouts (all silk) then went to a florist and ordered $300 worth of what they consider “premium” flowers (think peonies, etc.) for the ceremony (with his money) just to spite him. Not my proudest moment, but I was pissed that he was giving me a hard time about EVERYTHING from the food, colors, and damask pattern to the time schedule for the day-of. The flower comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Post # 60
4685 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@WeddingPea:  he’s no rapper. and neither am I.  He thinks he is when we are in the car. That’s about where his rapping skills end. Mine don’t even start! lol he’s a fool.

Post # 61
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@aggie2010:  HAHA my FH says that too, then goes out and says “I don’t like that idea, how about this one?” To be honest, he’s come up with some of our better ideas, so I can’t really complain…

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