(Closed) Overreacting???

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Most guys figure their groomsmen “know who they are”, and that there’s no rush to formalize it.

Can I ask… when is your wedding date?

Also – can you just ask your extra female friend… do you have to wait for him to ask his friends?

Post # 4
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

No your not over-reacting!  Its natural for you to be excited and want your girls to be a part of that too, but when it comes to guys, they’re a little slower.  Just ask your Fi why its taking so long for him to ask, maybe he’s having a hard time chosing and may need your help!

Post # 5
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s hard to say if you’re over reacting — have you talked to your Fiance about choosing his GMs? I know some guys can be totally clueless, and he may not even know he’s supposed to ask them so far ahead!

Also, how soon is the wedding? I guess technically he doesn’t need to ask them until it’s time to start considering their wardrobe and so forth.

A lot of whether you’re overreacting is in how you’re presenting it to your Fiance πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Uneven numbers are definitely nothing to worry about!

As for a September ’10 wedding date, that is a whole lot of time. πŸ™‚ It’s come up on the boards a lot that it can be dangerous to ask people to be in the wedding party too far from the wedding date!  11 months is a lot of time, and people can grow apart in that time…

Post # 9
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What about giving him a deadline? The guys I know tend to be more concrete thinkers, so stuff like specific deadlines help them. Maybe the end of the month? Then you’ll have a sort of timeline where you can not ask until next month and hopefully by then he’ll have done it, since you verbalized a timeline for him. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@melv0802 – You’re going to be fighting this battle the entire time πŸ™‚ Our wedding is also next September, and my fiance cannot understand why anything has to get done this early. I keep trying to explain to him that if various timelines say to do X when you’re Y months before the wedding, then most other couples getting married when we are will also be doing X, so if we wait, all of the good vendors will be booked. Plus, I just have a need to know “Okay, [fill in the blank] is settled and I no longer need to worry about it.” Dudes just don’t work that way.

Post # 11
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I had the same initial reaction you did.  We got engaged last christmas, and I asked my girls within 3 months of us getting engaged  FI still hasn’t asked his yet.  I nagged him for a bit, and then I realized that we still have tons of time, so its ok that he hasn’t asked them yet.  The guys don’t have much they need to do, other than tux shopping and the bachelor party, which both come way later.  I’m just glad I have my girls to chat about weddings with, and go on many dress shopping trips with.

 

Try not to stress. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think it’s normal to be frustrated with your Fiance not having asked his guys yet.  We’ve been engaged since February (wedding is Nov. 2010) and my Fiance still has one guy he hasn’t asked yet…mainly because he no longer has his phone number!  The ones he did ask, he send a text message to them to ask.  Point being, the guys just don’t think of the wedding process like we do.  I think if you want to ask your additional friend, go for it!  I see weddings all of the time that have odd numbers and it looks just fine!

Post # 15
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

Try not to stress if you can.  I think Mr. Bee is right, guys tend to assume that their friends just KNOW if they’re groomsmen or not.  I asked my girls within a week or two of being engaged.  My husband took several months to ask his friends.  I even had one of them ask me “so has he picked the groomsmen yet?” and I had to tell my husband to just do it already.  I think for him, he figured because they didn’t need as much lead time with ordering tuxes as we did for dresses, it wasn’t a big deal if he waited. πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think men are just different

You shouldn’t take it personally or as a sign of his lack of intrest of help with the wedding.

It’s ok to be frustrated. When I found out 4 motnhs before the wedding that he had not asked the last guy…I was really pissed.

Just make him take care of it and try to not be too upset about it. Guys sometimes just “dont get it”

 

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