Oversharing about your child(ren). Can I just rant a quick minute?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
6882 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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ashley.nicole.2122 :  Um it is a little different with a child.  As a parent I share my child’s victories to failures as he grows, same as I as a parent.  I know when he was smaller,  I shared about him getting sick on me, no pictures but a status.  (Pictures are gross, that I get. I am in bunch mom groups and don’t want to see vomit or poop) Parents get it, if you are not one, you don’t understand.  As another person said if it bothers you then unfriend/not follow said person.

I refuse to let other people dictate what I put on my personal social media.  If someone dooesn’t want to see it, they hey you know what to do.  

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smalltownbigworld :  

Post # 17
Member
7264 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I know a lot of people who tend to overshare on their SM. When they share something that offends or upsets me, I let them know. I’ve pushed back several times on friends who were sharing things about the abuse or mistreatment of black and brown people that should be informative and encourage people to do something, but gets to be torture porn and triggering when not thought through.

I also think that some people share things that they are trying to reframe because they’re bothered or bummed about it and hoping that getting someone else to laugh about it will help them find the humor in it.

And I think there are just some people who are so desperate for attention, that they share any and every thing about any and every one. That’s why our friends and family have been told not to share pictures of our son (we do not, either) and we also do not share his name. I feel very aware that things I find adorable or funny about him now may be the equivalent of pulling out naked baby pictures for him one day.

Post # 18
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s more than just, “then unfriend / don’t follow.” I cringe when I see stuff like this because the internet is forever! I don’t post any photos of my daughter I wouldn’t want online forever if they were of me. Which means I don’t post much, but that’s life. I see people posting embarrassing photos of their kids all the time and it makes me so sad. 

Post # 19
Member
781 posts
Busy bee

I think people who say unfollow that person don’t necessarily understand the implications. It’s easier said then done. If it’s some long lost person you are only friends with on fb it’s once thing but usually I don’t “follow” those people. One time a close friend who recently had a baby first time mom so she was posting multiple pics everyday so I unfollowed her and she called me out for not liking any of her pics. After that I was done with fb anyway so I deleted it 

Post # 20
Member
719 posts
Busy bee

I’ve had someone post the actual puke all over their one year old….

Post # 21
Member
3404 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have unfollowed people for over sharing their kids. 

I don’t put my kids on SM. There are no pictures and I don’t use their names either. I feel like until they can say yes to me posting their lives I have to assume they’d say no. 

I do love those ‘cute’ moments and take pictures which I send to my husband. He’s the only other one who’d find them cute too

Post # 22
Member
7891 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Ugh. This is disgusting. If the parents were honest with themselves, it was disgusting when it happened. WHY do people feel the need to share all over social media? Perhaps I am just a dinosaur, but I DON’T KNOW. When my children did things like this (as all children do – they ALL have bodily functions and are not special because of them), I didn’t even tell people in casual conversation because who wants to hear about vomit and/or poop? Hello, common courtesy!

And what others have said is true. The internet is FOREVER. Why memorialize things like this? A) No one wants to hear or see it. B) Your child doesn’t want to see or hear it when they are grown. C) Bodily functions aren’t special, even if they are from your child. 

As for those who have said, “When it is YOUR child, you’ll understaaaaaand!” Nonsense. I’ve had children. It would have been disgusting for me to tell people about my children doing this, and it is disgusting for you to tell the world about it now.

Yuk. I’d unfollow these people and let them know why.

Post # 23
Member
9546 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Completely agree with the “you can love your child more than anything without showing everyone 837483x a day” sentiment. 

That said, I 10/10 would prefer seeing an honest post about being frustrated with poop than a thirteenth billion post of “Timmy Boy is the perfect angel! I cannot BELIEVE how smart one little human can be, it just blows my mind! And so handsome like his old man! 🥰😍❤️ #soblessed #momlifeisthebestlife #livingthedream”

Post # 24
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee

I am not a SM poster, I think I only share a photo of them on birthdays or special occasions. 

That being said, it’s up to the individual what they post on their feed. You aren’t required to like it. SM is there to follow the narrative of someone’s life – and yeah, when you’re a parent, that’s lots of vomit and poops, but also all the fun stuff too. They probably also have a community of other parent friends who can relate and laugh/commiserate with them. That’s their life, and that’s what their SM is going to consist of. I hardly think just because a parent shares one or two vomit pics or posts, they post them weekly, and even less likely for poop, if any. So just get on with your day and focus on more important things – I’m sure there are plenty. 

Oh and ‘when I have my own children I would never do X, Y and Z’ gets old really quickly. 

Post # 25
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

I’m also not a fan of this, but I’m of the I’ll that the internet is forever, I am not personally a fan of people oversharing pictures of their children, they get no so in it. A friend posted a picture of her son naked on Facebook (with an emoji covering his genitals) that she plans to put up on his 21st birthday because she knows it will embarrass him. I just can’t fathom that at all 

Post # 26
Member
3404 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Lol, the best parents don’t have kids hey? It’s funny when people without kids say ‘when I have children I won’t do x’ we all know they don’t know anything yet. That said saying no to social media is something you can decide before hand and uphold. 

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littlebuzz :  

Post # 27
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee

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ashleyroo :  

This is just bizarre to me. A friend called you out for not “liking” any of her pictures? Of all the things to take issue with someone about…

I haven’t been on Facebook newsfeed in 8 months, and I have much greater peace of mind and much less anxiety. It’s not just the revolting/triggering/annoying posts which get to me – it’s the relentless need for attention and the way people are so careful to craft a particular image of themselves. It’s too much for my brain.

Back when I did used to scroll, I had a friend who used to post every last living detail of her child’s life, complete with visuals. There would be something everyday, even if it was (yet another) pic of him smiling up into the camera with the caption “So blessed to be the mother of this amazing human.”

The day that she posted about her child taking his first poop in the potty was the day I unfollowed her. Seeing people’s comments of “what a clever boy!” etc. just made me realise that Facebook makes people go truly insane. Is it not enough to share these stories privately in a mom’s group if you really must get them off your chest? Must you memorialise them and demand that other people notice and approve (as evidenced by ashleyroo’s friend’s calling people out)? I don’t think you can dress this behaviour up as maternal pride and love – it’s just plain crazy.

Yes, you can choose to unfollow/unfriend people whose posts you don’t like. But the mentality of people who think it’s appropriate to share intimate details of others (their children) like their bowel movements or vomiting with the world just baffles me. If he grows up and wants to share his own vomiting and bowel movements with other people, then fair enough – but I’m guessing he won’t.

Post # 28
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Woww so much care over very small things! I really dont care what my friends does with their kids, not mine anyway. And I’m pretty sure no one will be denied a job because they have puke baby photos online.

And you know what, first time your kid made it to the potty by themself is really a proud moment.

PS, no I don’t post anything child related on FB or any other media.

Post # 29
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee

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Twizbe :  Very true, and I think you tend to be a social media sort of person or not, however, some of my friends, faced with more hours of isolation than they are used to with babies, plus lot of new mama friends online do get in the habit of posting more, I think in an effort to reach out for more social contact. I do too, in fact … but only in a closed facebook mama and baby group.

Post # 30
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2021

I find it very odd and sad that people will invade their childrens’ privacy to get attention on social media. I’ve seen people videoing their children when they’re extremely upset and goading them or doing things purposely to upset them then putting on Facebook because “it’s funny”. It’s not funny, you’re a sh*t parent desperate for attention. 

Likewise, why are people sharing pictures of their naked children on the internet with their hundreds of Facebook “friends”?  When the vast majority of these so called friends are acquaintances or people they barely know.

A girl I used to go to school with has 1000 “friends” and regularly shares pictures of her 7 year old daughter with barely any clothes on e.g. just underwear and a face full of make up and records her when she’s crying or having a tantrum so “people can see what I have to deal with every day”. 

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