Oversharing about your child(ren). Can I just rant a quick minute?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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absinthevintage :  That’s exactly how i feel about it.  Your child can’t consent to having these pictures shared .  You might rationalize that it’s just your friends/family but then they can also share with anyone they want and then those people can share. Why would you take the risk?  I don’t share any pictures of someone without asking.  Does someone’s privacy not matter because they’re a child?  I think when it comes to online presence their privacy should matter a lot and some parents should be taking a bit more care of what they put online.  But then I’m sure some parent will pop on and say that i don’t get it because I’m not a parent while they share an online pic of their naked child with their 300 internet “friends”

Post # 32
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

I have a friend who posted detailed updates on her kids potty training every day. At lunchtime. And she shares it again every year when it comes up in memories. At lunchtime. I don’t want to unfollow her as that’s all she’s ever posted that bothered me, I just wish I could remember from year to year when the ‘poo news’ is due.

Post # 33
Member
8301 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Ewwwwww WTF. I don’t care how much you love your child, that is grim. Sure take a photo but keep it to yourself, the way things were done before social media. No one wants to see it! 

Post # 34
Member
5247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

People overshare in general. I had to unfriend a college acquaintance because he would post once a year thanking the woman who “made him a man” on the anniversary that he lost his virginity. Dude was in his thirties when I unfriended him for his yearly posts

I do feel like I could post “omg daughter just threw up all over the living room” but I would never put a picture of that up. I also have a lot of other parents on my social media so it’s more of a comradery. I would probably text my mil first because I get a lot of support and encouragement from her because she’s awesome

I do think of my daughter and I don’t post pictures that would embarrass her. We’ve made huge success in her using the potty this past weekend and I was out of town, my husband sent a text message with a picture of her on the potty and told me how proud he was, but we would never put that on social media.

Post # 35
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

100% with the OP on this.  It’s gross.  Yes,  you love your child, yes they do gross things, etc etc.  But you do not need to share with the world all the gross things they do (unless they’re super funny).  All of my friends have children (ALLLL of them) and they all are of the same opinion.  Gross things cause certain reactions in people that are involuntary – don’t make people go through that.

Post # 36
Member
762 posts
Busy bee

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absinthevintage :  
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DrAtkins :  All of this. 

I love my (now adult) kids and grandkids to bits, but I also respect their privacy. I don’t post overly personal or potentially awkward and embarrassing photos because I try to be aware of how it might make them feel, even in future when they’re older. 

And besides, even if they’re my little sweeties, does anyone really need to see their poop? I mean, c’mon….why? Even besotted new parents ought to know there’s a line there somewhere. 

Post # 37
Member
2479 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

When I see stuff like this, all I can think is “personal autonomy”. It used to be that if there was an embarrassing photo of you as a child, it stayed in an album at your parents house, and you had control over who saw it. There are pictures of me as a child I wouldn’t want anyone to see. Period. It doesn’t matter if it would keep me from getting a job or not… I just don’t want it out there. 

I cringe for some of these kids. Their parents are way over the top, and their parents’ friends (and maybe even their personal childhood friends) will simply know too much. The kids have no chance at privacy. Even their “cute little bottoms” aren’t private. 

Serously, it’s terrible. 

Post # 38
Member
762 posts
Busy bee

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Sansa85 :  That oversharing college aquaintance made me laugh- was the woman he posted his virginaversary about still on his facebook to see this? Did she ever respond? I would have cringed so hard in her shoes. 

I know one woman in  her thirties who posts frequent photos of her husband sleeping- awww here he is passed out on the couch after bingewatching Stranger Things, aww here he is sleeping in on Sunday morning (with his Nyquil-commercial smushed face into the pillow look) awww here he is sleeping in the hammock after cutting the grass. I mean it’s great she still thinks he’s as adorable as when they were first dating, but how many photos of him sleeping do you really need to share? As we’re part of the same rec leagues and see each other frequently I don’t want the potential hurt feelings of unfriending her, so I just unfollowed her so they don’t show up in my newsfeed. 

Post # 39
Member
5247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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crustyoldbee :  I don’t think she was ever tagged

I’ve seen people in my feed post about fights with their husbands, and their husbands are not blocked from the post. And another one i vividly remember is when a stomach bug went through her house and her husband caught it. She posted a picture of him passed out on the couch clutching a trash can obviously sick as hell, telling us all that it was finally his turn. 

I’m like… the level of disrespect that I would be giving my husband if I did stuff like that… it’s awful. 

I wonder about the fights, like… does the husband see it and then talk to you about your opinion on the fight? Or does he just pretend he saw nothing? Seems so unhealthy to me. My first instinct is to see if it’s a setting where someone is blocked from the post, and if it isn’t a special privacy post, I check to see if their husband is on their friends list, and he usually is

Post # 40
Member
9592 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

kids or not, some people are just oversharers. now having a kid just gives them more fuel.

while i do post pictures of my children, i am very careful about what i post. 

Post # 41
Member
9357 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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smalltownbigworld :  I unfollow those types of people. I share my kid on social media sporadically and it’s only the highlight reel. I stop and think to myself “would I want this shared if it were me?” and if the answer is no then I don’t share it. I absolutely will text it to my best friend though because sometimes toddlers are ridiculous and you just need someone to commiserate with hahahaha

Post # 42
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I have a friend who does this. She doesn’t post gross pictures of poop or vomit but she literally shares every detail about her son. During the pregnancy she shared weekly pics. Now that her son is here, its updates of everything. First solid foods, first time sleeping on his back, first time sitting up… etc. Just excessive. She even most pictures of him sleeping on his nursery cam (which I think is a bit creepy). I don’t mind cute pics of the baby smiling and being adorable, but she needs a private group with just her close friends and family for everything else. 

Post # 43
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

Just unfollow these people if you don’t like what they post…you’re not their only audience. Their family, other young parents, other friends in general, etc. often enjoy those posts for whatever reasons. I think other parents especially get some solace knowing that they’re not the only ones dealing with baby/toddler antics.

Before I had kids, I couldn’t care less about someone else’s baby’s milestone…but after having kids of my own, I appreciate it a lot more. I understand first hand what it’s like to wait for milestones, and the excitement it brings when they finally reach them. I enjoy seeing milestone posts now because I like to “celebrate” with the parents, I know the journey they went through to get there. Not so sure about projectile vomit as a milestone, but if she’s just venting, I can sympathize with that, too. I would probably hide posts/unfollow people that include gross images, but if it’s just a post saying “wellp, today of all days is when my kid just had to have a blowout all over her Christmas dress on our way to Nana’s Christmas party!” I’d relate, laugh, empathize, and move on. It’s part of life and it’s hardly any different from posting “my car just got its first ever flat tire today on my way to an interview”. Parent’s world literally revolve around their kids, so of course they’re going to post about them. It’s fine if that’s not the kind of content you want to see, and you have full control over controlling that. But people aren’t going to stop posting baby milestones or “oversharing”, because there’s nothing inherently wrong with it, and other people enjoy them.

 

Post # 44
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

I notice as I get older and my kids are older that I have a way lower tolerance for posts about kids/babies.  I cringed the other day over a post about a baby “taking a nap on mommy’s “pillows”.  Posted by the dad.  

Im a complete hippocrite as I used to post a lot about my babies :-). But it’s all in what you’re interested in at whatever stage of life. 

Post # 45
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i mean i love my kid, but sharing a photo with literal sh*t spread everywhere wouldnt be something i would share with possibly 100+ facebook friends…

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