(Closed) Overwhelmed

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You have plenty of time.  I planned a great wedding in 5 months in one of the msot expensive cities in the US.  It’s not as hard as everyone makes it out to be.  Make decisions that make you happy and let everyone else deal with their own drama if they don’t like it.

Post # 4
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  (((Hugs))) Deep breath!

Have you thought about what type of wedding you want?  What I mean is – do you even want a bridal party, or flowers?  Maybe something small is more your speed?  Maybe a destination wedding?  Maybe an intimate close friends/family wedding?  Or a ceremony with dinner at a restaurant.  

It is understandable to be overwhelmed – I am a Sep 2014 bride and even though I have some things checked off my list, I still become overwhelmed and agitated by it all at times!  

What made you choose the date?  I am just curious – if you aren’t sure what you want at this point, are you absolutely set on that date?  Maybe that would take some of the pressure off so you can decide what you – and Fiance – would like first.

Take it one step at a time.  I am sorry I don’t have more specific tips for you, but I am sure others will chime in and offer some awesome advice.  Hang in there and try to relax!

Post # 6
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  Yup, I totally understand!  It is really frustrating when everyone has their “opinions” of how it should be and when it should be done, lol!  I am sorry you don’t have any local girls to help you at (I have that problem myself, and my BFF who wants to help me plan is in FL while I am in NY) but that is why these boards are SO great!  It is completely doable, though.  How about a step by step wedding planner (as in book, i.e. organizer) to help you out?  Check them out on Amazon.

Post # 7
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You have your venue, your date and your groom – everything else will fall into place Smile Is a wedding coordinator in your budget? With everyone you know being out of town, a coordinator would be a huge help for you! As for the dress – buy what you like! When I went shopping with my mom, she kept pointing at gorgeous gowns and saying they looked like they were from the 80’s (she has no idea…..augh) so I went alone, picked what I like and sent pictures to my mom of the one I bought. 


There are lots of free wedding checklists available online – I find them incredibly helpful. http://www.realsimple.com/weddings/planning/wedding-planning-checklist-00000000000222/ This is one of my favourites. 


Big hugs sweetie!! We’re here if you need help with anything Smile

Post # 8
1999 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

First, take a big breath. You’ve go plenty of time! 

1. Don’t listen to other people. It’s YOUR wedding. If you say white plastic chairs don’t matter, they don’t matter.

2. Wedding colours? Well, what is your favourite colour? πŸ™‚

2. Bridesmaids? You don’t really need them. If you want them, pick a colour (your favourite ;)) and tell them to buy any dress in that colour. Who said they should all be wearing the same style dress? Look at pictures here on Weddingbee, lots of brides had their girls in different dresses, it was beautiful.

3. Flowers? How easy. Do some online research for good florists in your area (websites such as iVouch of Yelp are a big help), then walk into the shop and tell your florist you don’t know first thing about flowers. Let your florist help you, it’s their job to know all about flowers, right? πŸ™‚

4. Music? How about you ask every guest to pick a song and write it one their RSVP card? Give the list to your DJ, pick a few of your favourite songs, problem solved.  

5. Dress shopping? Go alone and follow your gut. Nothing worse than having an entourage of people all trying to force their opinion on you. If you’re stuck, take a picture and post it on Weddingbee, we loooove helping brides pick out the perfect dress πŸ™‚

6. Guest list? Take a piece of paper and start writing down names. Start with people you can’t imagine getting married without, next, put down people you have to invite otherwise they’d be insulted (such as “mother’s rich 95-year-old great aunt”, you get the picture ;)), then put down the names of people you’d like to be at your wedding but you can survive without. Ask Fiance to do the same. Combine the lists, then survey the damage. If it’s more people than you can afford to host, start crossing out names starting with people you can survive without, then work your way up the list until you’re happy. Now that’s an overly simplified version of guest list making but it’s a start, right? 

7. If you’re unsure about something, ask the Bees! Some ladies here know EVERYTHING, I swear πŸ™‚ it also helps that some of us have been planning our weddings in our heads since we were 5 πŸ™‚

8. You can do this! Smile, it’s a happy event! πŸ™‚ 


Post # 9
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  No way!! I am getting married September 19th, 2014. I went dress shopping right away because I knew what I wanted, we set the date because we already knew about when we wanted it and who we were going to go with even before we were engaged because we have been together for 8 years. But my Future Sister-In-Law is getting married in July of 2014 and does not even have her date set or a venue picked out. You are totally fine, you are actually ahead of schedule in my book. Don’t stress! 

Post # 10
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Except for booking the venues, most of wedding planning can be done in six months or less. And I selected my wedding dress all by my lonesome – it can be done! Plan the wedding you want! Graciously listen to opinions/suggestions and simply say “Thank you for sharing your suggestion, we will keep all suggestions in mind as we plan.” and leave it at that.

Post # 11
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@NotablySidedJP:  Finding a venue that can accomodate your date is the most stressful part. The rest is only as much of a hassle as you allow it to be. Wedding planning is a lot of fun if you do what you want and don’t take orders or try to copy others. Really it’s key that you don’t try to copy others. You don’t need a certain kind of chair, you don’t need a certain kind of table cloth, you don’t need a certain theme or decor… to have an enjoyable wedding. The Bee is a very helpful resource but don’t let it scare you when you read posts from frazzled brides.

Post # 12
4948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@NotablySidedJP:   You have plenty of time and we’re here for you!! Show us your dresses, flowers, everything!!  We’ll help out!!  *hug*  And congratulations on your engagement!!  

Post # 13
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  Totally don’t freak out!  I’m getting married next Sept also, and so far all we’ve done is that I bought a dress (sample, off the rack, so it’s in my house and I will have it altered closer to the date) and we have a provisional guest list.  We haven’t booked our venue although we have picked it out.  There is more than plenty of time to get it all done and nothing is a huge deal except the fact that no matter what, you will be married at the end of the day.

I did 90% of my dress shopping alone and that worked for me – I took photos (or had the consultant take photos) and emailed them to friends for opinions.  It was nice not to have the pressure of someone else’s opinion, especially not my mom’s since as much as I love her, she would have thought everything was way too expensive.

If you have a venue, I bet they have recommended caterers so narrowing that down shouldn’t be too tough.  You don’t need to have bridesmaids, or colors for that matter.  No one cares about the chairs.  I think people ask these questions to try to seem interested and engaged and they don’t realize that they are stressing you out.  One piece of good advice that I was given was to sit down with your fiance and make a list of the three things that are most important to each of you.  Focus on those things and delegate or forget about the rest.  You’ll have a day that makes you happy.

Post # 14
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@NotablySidedJP:  Your family is crazy!

I planned our wedding in 5 months. You have TONS of time!

Post # 15
120 posts
Blushing bee

You have plenty of time! I got engaged a month ago, and I’m planning mine for March 2014 – way sooner than yours; and I’m doing fine. When people express their concern, I just tell them I’m not worried. I have a spreadsheet, I figured out my deadline for figuring out each of these items, and if I stick to my schedule, it should be fine.

Make a list of everything you know you need to do, and then next to those items, list the date you should have it ‘figured out’ by. Then, just worry about the items that are coming up quickly. You should figure out your venue ASAP, for example, but if you haven’t figured out your favors, that’s totally not even close to being something to worry about.

If someone asks about a detail you haven’t decided on yet, don’t stress! People just get excited. If someone asks about your flowers, but you know you’ll figure them out in March and haven’t thought about it yet, just say so.

As for your dress timeline… if you’re going 100% the traditional route, and ordering something to be made for you, and doing a few rounds of fittings, then I’d say you should have one picked out in the next month or two. But if you don’t, you aren’t out of options, not even close. I bought myself a BEAUTIFUL dress online, that won’t need alterations, that took about a week to decide on and a week to ship.

Seriously, don’t let people stress you out about not having everything figured out yet. You have plenty of time, and even if something does get off track, there are always perfectly lovely backup options. Just tell people to back off if you’re getting overwhelmed. Truthfully, it’s not their business anyway. If someone expresses concern, let them know you’d be happy to assign them a couple of items on your to-do list. πŸ™‚

Post # 16
11697 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NotablySidedJP:  first – CONGRATULATIONS.  second – BREATHE!

I went dress shopping on my own, LOVED it.  My family hated the dress I loved (I was texting them pictures) but I really didn’t care and not having them there made it a whole lot easier to not care (my family is on opposite sides of the country form me) I also got engaged in March and didn’t start trying on dresses until July and my wedding is in May 2014.  I wasn’t ready to try them on so I didn’t go.

There are a lot of details, but most of them don’t really matter, people think they do, but they don’t.  We have a lot to do still, but a lot of things tick themselves off the list pretty quickly.  Make a list of what YOU care about and worry about those things.  Don’t let other people tell you what should be important to you.

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