(Closed) Overwhelmed (don’t want a traditional wedding)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m wearing a short dress. Fiance is wearing chuck taylors and a seersucker suit. We are having an outdoor ceremony. No cake, not garter toss, no long speeches, no hotel ballrooms, no sit down dinner. You have to remember your wedding is suppose to reflect you as a couple, not what BRIDES or the KNOT tells you what a wedding is suppose to be.

Post # 5
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@finlandfairy:we’re probably going a tad more traditional that you, but honestly, the ONLY thing we actually care about is good food and plenty’o’booze for our friends and family.  I’m guessing our ceremony will take about 3 minutes…my dress is white and long but not “bridal”…we’ll have impromptu speeches if people want, and my best friend is acting as master of ceremonies and officiant.  We’re not having flowers, decorations, or any of the traditional cake cutting/garter toss/bouquet toss/etc. 

Its your day and you should definitely just do what you want!  Have fun!

Post # 8
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If your relationship with your parents and family is bad, then i’m not sure my advice will work, but i think in this case as in most cases, honesty is the best policy.  Even if you have to do it in letter or email form, talk to your family and explain to them why you prefer to do the wedding non-traditionally.  The money argument is huge – in this economy more brides should probably be thinking the way you are!  And i think its sweet that you want your wedding to be, more or less, the same type of celebration of your life together that every day will be.  If you explain it honestly and openly to your parents WHILE making it clear that its your decision and you are not looking for their approval but would love their support, i don’t see how they can hold anything against you. 

Again, not sure whether this will work with your family.  I have a great relationship with my parents and it was still REALLY difficult to tell them that Fiance and i were planning on getting married in Australia, but they were understanding, and since we live here and are paying for it, they couldn’t object too hard.

Good luck!!!!!! xx

Post # 10
244 posts
Helper bee

my current dream wedding is to still get married in a church with a nice white dress and then get a limo to drive the whole family and a few close friends for a nice, private dinner in nyc.  

Post # 11
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

just do YOU ! do what you guys want. not what everyone else wants. we had a huge wedding planned. i have a HUGE family and the list was already topping over 200 ppl. i dont like being the center of attention and i dont like being around alot of people.  so we cancelled our big wedding. i was caught up in the moment and felt like i was ” supposed” to have a wedding and do all that stuff that goes along with it.

we are still having a wedding, instead we are making it into a week long family vacastion and going to the outer banks. its still gonna cost us some money, but to just relax and spend time with my family and say I do real quick sounds perfect to us =)

good luck in whatever you decide. i was afraid of how HIS family was going to react. my family doesnt care. our famililes are a lil different. my parents are young and crazy and his parents are older and church people =) hhahha.

Just do what feels right and what will make you happy. I love your idea of just making it a special day all about the both of you and spending time doing things you love.  =)

Post # 13
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We’re sharing our day but it’s still low key and very us.

A family friend is marrying us at a restaurant in front of 50 of our closest friends and family. We’re giving ’em dinner and drinks after, kicking them out at 3:45 and then hubby and I will go hang out and bar hop with our friends. We are not having flowers, cake, a D.j, bouquet toss, garter toss, a wedding party, first dances or any of that mess.

We’re doing an ipod D.J and inviting everyone our for a “couples dance” since we’re not great dancers and I don’t like the attention.

There is NOTHING wrong with cusotmizing your wedding to something that fits the two of you! Enjoy your day!

Post # 15
30 posts

Hey – I just want to tell you that you are not alone.

Before fiance and I started talking about getting married, I already knew that I did not want anything to do with the things that “define” a wedding – including the white wedding gown, flowers, wedding cake, garter belt, the bridal party, ALL of it basically. I too want ppl to come and have good food, excellent conversation and a good time. Trust me, I have gotten into big enough arguments with the women in my family about it – I have had my idea of a wedding called “fake” “cheap” and a lot of other not very nice words – but I am not budging.

I have purchased my wedding dress already – got it at a high street shop and is knee length. Don’t feel like you’ve gotta restrict yourself to a bridal shop (ugh, makes my skin crawl just thinking of entering one of these – it’s definitely not my style). If you have a fave dress shop or department store, I would check these instead.

Have you looked into your fave venue – whether it be a restaurant or bowling alley? Some restaurants will let you to do a buy-out which will allow you to use the entire space for your wedding. If it’s a fave restaurant, at least you’ll know the food will be amazing!

You should do what you and fiance feels comfortable with – if you are pressured to do something that you don’t feel at ease about then that is when you should put your foot down and say NO. You want to enjoy your wedding not dread it. 😀



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