- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2017
I work full time, commute 45mins to 1hr each way to work, and am in grad school nearly full time as well. I get to the gym 3-4 times a week after work. I have a dog to take care of (walk/play fetch with, ya know.. more time..don’t get me wrong, the pup keeps me sane, love him to pieces) and a cat (luckily he tends to take care of himself, ha). Throw in laundry, cooking, etc… that’s enough for any person as it is.
So, let’s throw in a wedding to plan!
I’ve found myself totally overwhelmed and generally not happy over this. I have never wanted a big wedding, and I have known for years that Fiance wanted a destination wedding. I always said I was on board with this, but I never imagined trying to plan the wedding the same time I have so much else going on with life/work/school. (Note – I’ll finish school the end of this calendar year but our wedding is early March 17, so I can’t put it all off until after school is finished.) Also never thought so many people would actually want to go to our Destination Wedding, so far we’re at 30 confirmed guests and we’re still 8 months out.
Fiance has made a few comments that everything relating to wedding planning has turned into a negative to only “ok” experience for him, because of me. I’ve been so overwhelmed its been hard to get excited and happy about anything, so I can’t fault him for feeling this way. I’ve brought up to him how overwhelmed I am, but his solution was to just “wing it” and let the coordinator plan everything at the hotel, and to let my BMs pick out their own colors/dresses/etc…. gah!
This is probably when it’d be good to note that I like having control over things. So when I have never wanted a big wedding, I can’t have a big-ish destination wedding without a single detail planned. I’m sure there are bees out there that get what I’m saying. If I’m going to be in a big wedding, then it needs to look presentable and be a good event for our guests to attend!
Now for my BMs… one is going through a huge life change right now (unemployed after being laid off, finally found new job, lots of big things happening for her right now), and the other is… i think.. a bit jealous she is not the one getting married. I know some BMs would JUMP at the chance to help another gal plan her wedding, but it’s just not in my two, and that’s OK- I don’t think it’s their responsibility to do that, I just know that some would welcome the opportunity.
I think I would feel better if I had a timeline/checklist of what I HAVE to accomplish every week leading up to the wedding. But every time I sit down to create one (I can’t seem to find one online that covers everything) I end up more overwhelemd then when I started, and then I’m out of time and not in a great mood. I’m starting to think I need a wedding planner, but like… just someone to tell me what decisions I have to make when and to help me pick out center pieces, etc… do these people exist? Someone joked in a different thread about bridesmaids for hire. I would totally do it if it meant I got someone to help me make all these decisions and they kept me on track and on task! agh.
I don’t want to push back the wedding date, so many of our friends have already booked flights and hotel rooms. I want to figure out how to calm down about stufff and get on a schedule or something. I just don’t know. This planning (or lack thereof) process is not working and its turning what is supposed to be a wonderful time into something I only associate with bad feelings of being overwhelmed.
so, any advice, bees?? help 🙁