Post # 1
So at the same time my lovely fiance and I got engaged, we discovered that we are also expecting. So, my dreams of a lovely fall wedding got shifted as I am due in November and did not want to be as big as a house on my wedding day. As such, we now have less than two months to plan our wedding.
Things such as venue and caterer and all are moving along pretty smoothly. My biggest challenge right now is the writing of our ceremony. My dear childhood friend will be our officiant as my fiance and I are not religious and wanted someone who meant something to us to perform the ceremony. This has put us in the position of having to write our own ceremony, which is actually what I’ve always wanted but with less than two months (wedding day is May 31), I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.
We do know that we will be having my 10 year old niece doing a reading which we’ve already chosen and my fiance is going to ask his brother to either perform a piece of music or do a reading as well. I am potentially interested in a secular handfasting ceremony. Other than these elements, I am a bit stumped on where to even start. Wondering if anyone else is in the same boat or has been here themselves and how they sorted it all out. I enjoy writing but this is new to me!
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
My husband wrote our ceremony:
There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path. Of all human relationships, marriage is at once the most revered and the most challenging. A ceremony will neither create nor sustain your marriage. Only you can do that – through love and patience. Through dedication and perseverance. Through unparalleled honesty. By allowing yourselves to know one another as no one else can. By helping, and supporting, and believing in each other. Through tenderness and laughter. By knowing when to say you are wrong, and knowing when to forgive. By learning to savor your differences, and to nourish your similarities. And by knowing what things are important now, and what things are important forever. Today, this ceremony shall bear witness to and affirm before those you love the choice you make to stand together in life as teammates, partners, and friends.
Your words will be your expression of your love, the verbal foundation of an abiding and ever-deepening relationship. These ties that you now assume are tender and sacred because of your choice to remain partners through the years. Your commitment to keep the vows you take here today will not be an obligation to any civic law or religious creed, but rather a desire to love and be loved by the person you have found and chosen in this world. Life is simple: you make choices and you don’t look back. Continue to love one another fully, and without limitation, and your life will have joy, and the home you establish together will be a place in which you both can steer the direction of your growth, your freedom, your hopes, and your responsibility.
After that we did a ring exhange and then read each other personal vows we wrote ourselves. It seems overwhelming to write your own ceremony and vows but there are tons of examples online that you can use fully or pull lines from to really personalize it.
Post # 3
annemw333: I wrote our ceremony. And really only got started after I read a gazillion others. It helped to figure out what all the components were. Then we picked our favorite from each category and I worked them all together. We came up with the vows together.
- Welcome message
- Acknowledgement of Parents (optional)
- Address to Couple
- Reading (we’re using “love” by Roy Croft)
- Declaration of Intent
- Exchange of Rings
- Unity Ceremony
- Community Affirmation (optional)
If you want to know what we used for any category, just let me know. It’ll probably be a 20 minute ceremony (excluding the prayer since I don’t know how much Mr. S’s dad wants to say) so to copy all in here would be a bit much. 😉