Overwhelmed/disappointed about wedding venues

posted 2 years ago in Venue
Post # 2
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I definitely feel your pain. Unfortunately, venues will just be the start and photographers, caters, DJ’s, and others will most likely be booked. My advice would be to either plan for 2019 (same date), opt for a weekday before or after Nov 3, or pick a new date completely. I think the weekday might be your best bet since most people want a weekend wedding. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

it is nice to get all sentimental and such but really it is about getting married, the culmination, the celebration of your love and commitment to one another – it really doesn’t matter when or for that matter where. I know this website is to encourage the weary lol or thosse getting married. And yes we can seem rather materialistic and shallow though I understand it is a site to help people getting married in partcular. If we spent as much time organizing and planning our weddings as we did in the marriage maybe more marriages would last. Don’t be discouraged there is a venue out there for you andmaybe even on your chosen date. The truth is what makes a wedding special is the people and what you do with it. I mean you can go tot he top hotel, top catere and top florits t and all but it is really about the couple. Unless you have tonnes of money there will always be a more glamours wedding But you can still ahve a sp ecial wedding if you focus on the key things that really count.

Post # 4
Member
1047 posts
Bumble bee

If you live in a big city, the reality is many venues and vendors book more than one year in advance.  Especially in peak fall wedding weeks.  

 

You and your Fiance need to weigh your options:

1. Stick with November 3 2018 as your date and work with what will be limited venue and vendor options.  This option keeps your sentimental wedding date and is probably best if you are not on a limited budget because budget + less than one year is going to knock out most of your venue/vendor options. 

 

2. Move to Sunday November 3 2019 and be able to book whomever you want. This option keeps your sentimental date and allows you time to plan the wedding you want, but the sacrifice is waiting 2 years.

 

3. Prioritize the venue you want and consider any available dates in 2018 or early 2019.  We did this when we got engaged as getting married in our church was the top priority. When I called the church they only had 3 Saturdays available for the following fall so we quickly visited the venues that were also available those weekends and made a decision. This option is best if you don’t want to wait until 2019 and have some specific venues / vendors your heart is set on using.

Post # 5
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee

Words of wisdom….don’t get hung up on the date. Unless you plan two years ahead you can’t really be picky. Plus in my opinion 12 months is not enough time to plan everything. I mean it’s obviously doable, heaps of brides do it. But I will have had 18 months and I’ve been able to take it one step at a time and not get stressed about it.

Post # 6
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee

Can you have it slightly outside of where you live? A nearby city/town? Bummer if people have to drive an hour, but so it goes. Can you have a smaller wedding easily accommodated by a backyard or a park?

My fiance and I also set our wedding date for the day we met, but we’re having the ceremony in a MUSEUM (yes, a museum!) in Reno (my home in every sense of the word), and with all the hotels and drive-thru chapels and casinos, we were able to book the venue a year out without a hitch. Cities like that have quite a few options, so you might look into a nearby place that has more variety in terms of venue. 

Post # 7
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

Bee I actually agree with you that it’s ridiculous everything is booked a year out! My 11-month engagement is starting to feel looong. My advice to you echos the other bees – don’t get hung up on the date (you can always have new dates of significance! More anniversaries to celebrate!) and get creative with venue as others have suggested. You’ll end up with something cool and different. Also, a restaurant venue might give you much better food. I would not do the wedding on a Sunday or a weekday to get the venue. Most people will not be happy about a Sunday or weekday wedding. 

Post # 8
Member
10102 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You have to decide what’s more important: the date or the venue. If it’s the date you may have to compromise on venue and take whatever is open on your day, if it’s the venue then you have to change your date.

My husband I wanted a particular date so that meant we had to compromise on venues that were available that day and we also moved to a daytime wedding instead of evening. It all worked out okay and I loved our venue in the end.

FWIW, We got engaged in Nov 2015 and I didn’t really start planning anything until Jan 2016, so even less time than you have and it all worked out okay. It CAN be done! Just keep your head down and keep looking. 

Post # 9
Member
9332 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i agree to not get hung up on the date.  we had a 7 month engagement in a big city.  i had no problem finding venues.  we were looking at october/november and only visited if they had a saturday available in those months.  i was getting discouraged that i didn’t like any places, then when we saw our venue, we knew it was the one, Darling Husband and I both knew the second we saw it.  and honestly, it was one i called not expecting to like it.

 

Post # 10
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee

We’re having a shorter engagement and getting married in June, so peak wedding season too and in a large metro area. But we weren’t picky about a specific date so I emailed places saying, “What do you have available between May-July?” I ended up with a Friday evening wedding instead of a Saturday, but that means I get a beautiful and popular venue that was already booked on every Saturday through next fall, plus it’s 1k cheaper to do it on Friday than Saturday, AND caterers etc are more likely to be available. After I secured the venue, I haven’t had any difficulty getting other vendors – that was the hardest part for sure. But being flexible about possibly having it on a Friday or Sunday makes a big difference. 

If you’re really set on the date, though, I’m sure you WILL be able to find something if you look hard enough, you’re just definitely limiting your options. Plenty of us are having under-12 month engagements so it can be done. 

Post # 11
Member
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

This is one of those moments where you will have to sit down as a couple and set some priorities. I was dead set on an October wedding but every venue that I reached out to were either booked or just not what we wanted. Once we found our dream venue (which just so happened to be the cheapest we found also) we decided that the date was just going to have to budge. They had one Saturday date left available in November so we took it. 

While I can understand that your current anniversary is a sentimental date, I wouldn’t worry about trying to plan a wedding on it. You’re just going to make everything that much more dofficult for yourselves. Your dating anniversary is still going to be important after you are married whether you get married on that date or not. 

Post # 12
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee

I have to agree with the others that you’re going to have to compromise.  I am having a 7 month engagement and actually found more venues available than I expected when we first started looking.  We also decided ahead of time that we wanted a smaller wedding (100-120 guests) so that gave us a lot more options than if we had a bigger wedding.  The date wasn’t important to us, but the venue was, so when our favorite restaurant had a opening for Dec 9, we jumped on it.

You’re either going to have to expand your geographic area for venues or pick another date.  If you really don’t want to wait 2 years, what about Nov 4, 2018?  It’s only one day off your anniversary (and FWIW, I don’t even know our exact dating anniversary).

Post # 13
Member
7131 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly I wish more people wouldn’t get so hung up on a date. It’s about getting married. Most venues/vendors tend to book up around 12 months in advance, more if they’re super popular or it’s a big city/area. You need to decide what is more important…the wedding you want or the date.

If there are some venues you like email them and ask them what Saturday’s they still have left open.

Post # 14
Member
5816 posts
Bee Keeper

Don’t panic sweetie- we got married after a 9 month engagement (booked the venue 6 months prior) and we were able to do the date we wanted (our date was important because we wanted it to coincide with long distance relatives visiting) plus we live in an area popular for weddings to be held. Take a deep breath and expand your search- chances are you’ll come across a few great venues that weren’t even on your radar the first time around 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
2298 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

apresallday :  So, I know a lot of people are saying not to get hung up on the date, but I’m pretty sentimental and had strong attachment to a date as well. I did end up being flexible because the venue/photographer combo simply would not work on the date I had in mind. It was either give, or wait a year and I did not want to do that. But, it was a struggle to let that go.

That being said, I wouldn’t give up just yet. Look at non-traditional venues; museums, theaters, state park facilities (thinking here historic or municipal buildings) I don’t know what part of the country you live in but try ski resorts or golf clubs. Certain restaurants will also consider hosting private events. 

Get creative. 

Try not to get hung up on the usual ideas. I know of a friend who got married in a library. Another who rented an entire Bed and Breakfast. Wineries are also usually less busy in the winter.

Also, look a litte outside of the metro area. Smaller towns have less competition for venues. Private camps (think churches hosting retreats) and even a large Air BnB suitable for an event is another option to explore.

If the most important thing is the date, then just cast a wider net. I guarantee there’s still time to find something. If other elements are more imporant, you may want to budge on the date. 

 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors