- 3 months ago
- Wedding: April 2020 - City, State
My fiance and I are getting married in April 2020, and, while we haven’t started planning just yet, I’ve just been having this overwhelming feeling of loneliness?
I’m not quite sure how to describe it but right now I think that I need a place to type this out and get advice from others who have maybe been in a similar situation since the people who I have talked to about this don’t really know what to say.
My cousin is getting married at the end of August this year and has been avidly posting about it on social media. I’m also a Maid of Honor in her wedding so there’s always updates from her friends about what they’re planning to do, the bridal shower that her parents are throwing for her, etc. While I’m extremely happy for her (really, I am!), it’s just that one can’t help compare situations, you know?
In my case, my fiance and I live on the other side of the world where the culture is completely different from the one back home. I don’t plan on having a bridal party because that’s the culture here, and also trying to decide who gets to be apart of the party and who isn’t would stress me out. His family does live in the same town as us, but I don’t feel comfortable talking much about my feelings in front of his mother/sister.
I think that what has me down the most is seeing the love and support that she has from her friends and family over there whileas over here I’m basically on my own. And what seemed to be the tipping point for me last night was that my mother seems to be treating the wedding like a chore to get out of the way. I’m sure that it’s not that way but it’s just how it came off when we were talking about flights last night (she was asking when the wedding started and what time it was over which gave me the impression that she was just going to get on the plane right after it was over and go home, and she even suggested doing that).
I dunno. Like I said I try my best not to compare, but just overall my experience seems very… Lonely? My friends here aren’t really the type to plan things for other people (I tend to be the one to do that) and it’s not like I really have many friends who aren’t coworkers. I feel like I just tend to be on my own for most things and while that does somehow make me a strong independent woman, I wish I had more support and more people who seem excited for us to get married around me.
I also know that it’s my fault for being separated from my family and living over here in a different culture with different values, but just argh. I didn’t think that planning my wedding or even thinking about the upcoming events associated with my wedding would make me so sad.
My fiance is really supportive and was there for me me last night when I was a crying mess (bless his heart) but just, I dunno. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal?