Post # 1
I didn’t want BM’s purely because I didn’t want to tell them what to wear, how to do their hair what shoes etc etc… but, i caved in, in reality, i do want my besties standing by me.
I tried to be as upfront as i could, gave them a year notice, have asked them to purchase their own dresses, given my preffered colour for their dresses, & basically told them to buy what they wish & we’ll have mismatched bridesmaids.
Met up with them for the first time on the weekend & they didn’t understand the concept.They are ll interstate. They would prefer matching fabrics, colours & were expecting to wear the same dress. They didn’t ‘get’ the mismatched look. I thought going down this route was the easy way…
Ive spend the day looking, as i thought it i should give them some more direction & possibly come up with a more cordinated look. Found a few options, sent them through….. no response……. a few more hours if searching & i found THE dresses. I love them.
They are the multi way dress – so each girl can wear the top in a diff way which suits them best but looking gorgeously romantic at the same time.
So i sent a new message telling them I found my new love…..with the link….
And i’ve never felt more guilty in my life :/
What if they hate them? And the cost is unreasonable? Should I be ‘dictating’ what they wear? I’m almost dreading their response…
Anyone else have bridesmaid guilt?
Post # 3
I felt super guilty about not being able to afford my BMs’ plane tickets, so I didn’t want them to have any other expenses. I let my girls wear dresses that they already had in black. Even though they were across the country (I’m in NC they’re in CA), it was easy for them to figure out what they were wearing because they’re good friends. I made their jewelry, we all did our own make-up and I didn’t care about nails. No one complained and we all had a great time.
Post # 4
I’m maid of honour in my cousin’s wedding and she chose the infinity dresses for us too. Wow! I love them! Mismatched but the same material and everyone can wear it the way they feel comfortable! I’m pretty excited.
Dont feel guilty! They asked for more direction and so you gave it! Also, my cousin has changed her colours and the dresses loads of times and I’m not offended. It’s your day. You’re allowed to change your mind. 🙂
Post # 5
How much are they? I’ve seen a lot of convertible dresses and all were reasonably priced. (I tend to think anything under $175-200 is reasonable, under $150 is amazing.)
If these dresses don’t work out, it would be best if they gave you a max budget for you to work from.
Post # 6
I would not feel guilty at all. You offered them the freedom to pick their dresses, they were unsure of the vision and asked for specific direction, you found a perfect compromise between them wanting direction and your vision. It also sounds to me that, should cost be an issue and they let you know, you would be willing to find a lower priced convertible dress, which there is a fairly wide variety of costs. You’re being a very fair bride!
Post # 7
I tried this same thing, and it worked out about the same way it did for you. Eventually, I did a bunch of research, settled on Dressilyme, and let them pick a style in x color/y fabric. They were happy with that. I wanted to do the infinity dresses, but they’re either really expensive and/or only come in jersey fabric (not flattering unless you’re perfect), and typically didn’t come in all of the sizes that I needed.
I STILL feel bad that their dresses were ~$100 each.
Post # 8
They want/expect to get some direction.
You gave it to them.
Don’t worry, be happy. 🙂
If for some reason they don’t like these dresses, throw the ball into their court- tell them the color scheme, and that if they want to have matching dresses, have them pick a few out and agree, and you get “final approval.”
Post # 9
relaxed. they asked for this.
Another idea was picking a DESIGNER for them to wear, like Davids bridal or Alfred Angelo, which dresses of different styles come in the same fabrics and colors. that way they can all pick a dress that they like, in their budget and they can all have the same fabric and color
Post # 10
2 of the 3 girls replied saying they love the dress!! What a relief!!! The last Bridesmaid or Best Man, also a fmaily member is yet to respond, but she is the also the one that had started showig me dresses that she liked – they were truly awful. I started to get worried… but it looks as if we are heading in the right track now..
@housebee: thta’s very sweet of you – although we are asking for them to pay for their own dresses, now that they are long, i don’t mind what shoes they wear. We will be paying for 2 nights accom, hair & make up & giving them a gift. Hoping that makes up for the travel they need to do to get here..
@Dogsbody92: So good to hear someone else gettign excited over the dresses! Do you know where she will be purchasing from?? Or how much she is paying?
@sportsgal31: the ones I came across were $370, kept searching, $350, thought of searching the bee & found a recommended etsy seller for about $150 incl postage –
Post # 12
Post # 13
I don’t mind the dresses but I’m not comfortable with a big shower or an extensive bachelorette party.
Post # 14
Nope! As my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses cost around $40 each and I am buying them fo the BMs. No guilt here!
Post # 15
My only qualm with convertible dresses is that they don’t seem to be very bra friendly…
Post # 16
@pocketfox: thank you for the reassurance!
@Sapphire-Dreamer: @vorpalette: one of the first options was choosing a designer & they could select the style fabric but it was aroudn the $250 mark (initialy i thought that was the cheap as the multi dress were $370!)
I LOVE the look of them, but am slightly worried about how comfortable they will be in the fabric – did your girls get a chance to try them on before dismissing them as an option?
@Apple_Blossom: So happy it sounds as if these may be the go!!