(Closed) Overwhelming guilt

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I felt super guilty about not being able to afford my BMs’ plane tickets, so I didn’t want them to have any other expenses.  I let my girls wear dresses that they already had in black.  Even though they were across the country (I’m in NC they’re in CA), it was easy for them to figure out what they were wearing because they’re good friends.    I made their jewelry, we all did our own make-up and I didn’t care about nails.  No one complained and we all had a great time.

Post # 4
985 posts
Busy bee

I’m maid of honour in my cousin’s wedding and she chose the infinity dresses for us too. Wow! I love them! Mismatched but the same material and everyone can wear it the way they feel comfortable! I’m pretty excited. 

Dont feel guilty! They asked for more direction and so you gave it! Also, my cousin has changed her colours and the dresses loads of times and I’m not offended. It’s your day. You’re allowed to change your mind. 🙂

Post # 5
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How much are they?  I’ve seen a lot of convertible dresses and all were reasonably priced.  (I tend to think anything under $175-200 is reasonable, under $150 is amazing.)

If these dresses don’t work out, it would be best if they gave you a max budget for you to work from.

Post # 6
629 posts
Busy bee

I would not feel guilty at all. You offered them the freedom to pick their dresses, they were unsure of the vision and asked for specific direction, you found a perfect compromise between them wanting direction and your vision. It also sounds to me that, should cost be an issue and they let you know, you would be willing to find a lower priced convertible dress, which there is a fairly wide variety of costs. You’re being a very fair bride!

Post # 7
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I tried this same thing, and it worked out about the same way it did for you. Eventually, I did a bunch of research, settled on Dressilyme, and let them pick a style in x color/y fabric. They were happy with that. I wanted to do the infinity dresses, but they’re either really expensive and/or only come in jersey fabric (not flattering unless you’re perfect), and typically didn’t come in all of the sizes that I needed.

I STILL feel bad that their dresses were ~$100 each.

Post # 8
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

They want/expect to get some direction.

You gave it to them.

Don’t worry, be happy. 🙂

If for some reason they don’t like these dresses, throw the ball into their court- tell them the color scheme, and that if they want to have matching dresses, have them pick a few out and agree, and you get “final approval.”

Post # 9
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

relaxed. they asked for this.

Another idea was picking a DESIGNER for them to wear, like Davids bridal or Alfred Angelo, which dresses of different styles come in the same fabrics and colors. that way they can all pick a dress that they like, in their budget and they can all have the same fabric and color

Post # 13
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t mind the dresses but I’m not comfortable with a big shower or an extensive bachelorette party.

Post # 14
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Nope! As my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses cost around $40 each and I am buying them fo the BMs. No guilt here!

Post # 15
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My only qualm with convertible dresses is that they don’t seem to be very bra friendly…

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