Post # 1
I’m white and my Fiance is Mexican. We live in the US. He is cradle catholic and I converted a few years ago. In his culture they have godparents or padrinos in the wedding mass. I knew nothing of that but want his culture represented So I’m all for it. He wants his uncle and aunt who live in Mexico as the padrinos and I don’t know them. I’m fine with that but apparently he wants me to feel I can go to them for marriage advice but I am not a natural Spanish speaker and I don’t know them other than the one interaction I had with them. They are not helping to sponsor the wedding or pay for anything, my parents are doing it all. I’ll have them as the padrinos for culture/tradition but now he wants them on our invitations. Bottom line is he out of line to ask for the padrinos to be on the wedding invitations and ask me to view them as important?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Scottish Rite Cathedral (New Castle, PA)
@Amelia2014: I don’t think he’s out of line. If it’s traditional and you’re doing it I think you have to do it all the way. It’s traditional for our (Filipino) sponsors to be on the wedding invite as well. “Sponsors” doesn’t mean monetary, it means supporting you as a couple, giving you advice like your Fiance said. I think in American weddings the people on the invitations are whoever paid though right? Is that what’s tripping you up?
I think you have to do it all the way or not, either have them as your sponsors and list them or do away with the tradition completely. With my Fiance and I, if it’s important to him it’s important to me and vice versa so I don’t think he should have to ask you to view them as important. I’m sure it’s difficult not being a natural spanish speaker but I would certainly make the effort to get to know them with your FI; phone calls, skype, etc. That way you can feel a little more comfortable talking to them, maybe not comfortable enough to ask for advice but comfortable talking to them at least.
With that being said, I come from a culture that has similar ideas/traditions so they are not strange requests to me. I might feel differently if it was something I’d never heard of.