Post # 1
Ok, I’m getting really annoyed with one of our groomsmen… I have had a few problems already with other members of the wedding party (MOH and a BM) and now I get to deal with Groomsmanzilla!! He’s complained several times to both me and Fiance about our color scheme (black, white and turquoise) and says that turquoise – which he refers to as baby blue – is girly and a bad choice. He thinks we should stick with black and white, like his wedding was. (Let me just add that his wedding was tacky, cheap and thrown together in less than 6 months when they had 2.5 years to plan.) I’ve told him if he doesn’t shut up I’m going to put him in a bridesmaid dress, which is all turquoise, and he can just deal with it.
He’s had an opinion on everything we’ve done up to date and went so far as to bash the hotel I want to book for the night of our wedding. He’s also upset he’s not best man (FI’s older brother is. Makes perfect sense to everyone but GM) and assumed that because Fiance was his best man, Fiance would return the favor.
We actually had started planning a destination wedding so that we wouldn’t have to ask/invite this guy (he wouldn’t have been able to attend for $$ issues) but due to family travel issues we changed it to getting married at home. Then he took it upon himself to call our travel agent and inquire about trips for 4 people so they could have their honeymoon and we could get married with them as witnesses! WTF?
On the weekend he even asked us how much we spent on his wedding gift that is still wrapped on their kitchen table so he would know what to spend on us!
I’m almost at the end of my rope with this guy. Next time I get told what a crappy choice I/we’ve made I plan to tell him if he doesn’t like it he can feel free to back out and we will replace him accordingly. **Note: I was asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in their wedding but was kicked out without being told for issues that were not wedding related (its a long story but has to do with his bad attitude and my lack of tolerance for it).
Anyone else have any suggestions for what to say or how to react/not react to this nonsense? Please?
Post # 3
I would boot the guy. Sounds like a lot of stress you don`t need.
Post # 4
Have you talked to your Fiance or are you the only one at the end of your rope? Next time he starts complaining, you could say to him “Look, it seems like you really don’t want to be a part of our wedding. We’d like it if you could be happy for us and fully participate, but right now you’re putting a huge damper on what should be a happy time for us. It also seems like it’s become a frustration for you – maybe it’s better if you sit this one out” or something like that. If your Fiance feels the same way, it also might be better coming from him than you; that way it’d be harder for the groomsman to write you off as some bridezilla.
Post # 5
I guess it’s just time to lay down the law with this guy. Let him know he’s not in charge and if this behaviour continues then he shouldn’t be in the wedding.
Post # 6
I’ve talked to Fiance a bit about it but he just blows it off. It’s common knowledge this guy is a diva, most people just ignore him and do what they want anyway but I really don’t need someone making these comments and second guessing everything I do. I had no opinion on his wedding (and trust me, someone should have.. it was a disaster) but he’s got all kinds on mine. I can’t just boot him out, as much as I would love to, because he is FI’s best friend and Fiance would be beyond pissed off if I did. For the most part Fiance is the one who deals with him, I don’t have much contact with him but I know over the next couple weeks I’m going to get stuck talking to him and our conversations inevitably end up at “your wedding colors suck.” Maybe I just need some support to get thru the next couple weeks.. then he’s all FI’s problem.
Post # 7
I would tell my Fiance that the guys attitude is ruining my wedding experience and making me unhappy in a big way. I would also express to him that if things didn’t change I would be asking the groomsman to leave the wedding party. If your Fiance still blows that off then I would go ahead and kick the guy out of the wedding and assume that your Fiance is ok with it since he didn’t take action. This should be a joyous time for you and you don’t need the added stress of having to deal with this guy who is acting like a complete jerk.