(Closed) Painfully shy bride…needing some encouragment :(

posted 7 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
Member
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

Try to remember that we all judge ourselves more harshly then we judge others. You wouldn’t go to a wedding and then stare at the bride and think bad things about her – so why would your guests? I know it’s WAY, way easier to tell yourself these things then to believe them, but it’s worth reminding yourself when you are feeling nervous.

Since you know you have a certain amount of time to get more comfortable with crowds, maybe you could use this as an inspiration to work on getting over this anxiety. You could see a therapist about it, or if that’s not possible, try doing something you’re nervous about every day until you start to get used to being the center of attention.

Would it help you to take dance lessons with your fiance so you feel more comfortable before dancing in front of a crowd?

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

after about 60secs what about sharing your first dance with bridal party/parents of the B&G – throw in a couple of cute flower girl/boys the focus wont all be on you. would this idea help?

Post # 7
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Greenville Country Club

I think your comfort level at your own wedding will surprise you! Do you think you’ll feel the same way if close friends and family are present? They know you better than strangers at Walmart. 😉 There will be so much love, happiness and fantasticness (yes, I just made up a word) that you’ll lose track of yourself, time and inhibitions. 

We took dance lessons because it’s what I needed to do to feel comfortable dancing. I can be a total spaz and always felt like I had no coordination. And you know what? The lessons worked! They built up my confidence and gave me basic steps to follow. Letting go of my inhibitions was a tricky lesson to learn, but oh so worth it! At the end of our wedding, I had no dance regrets. Had we not done the lessons, I know I would have been definitely bummed with myself. 

Definitely agree with jeangenie about working through shy situations as frequently as you can. 

*hugs*

Post # 8
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think dance lessons, and picking a song you LOVE will help your nerves a lot. Are there any other occasions coming up beforehand where you can try to push your comfort zone a little (like giving a toast, a short presentation at work, etc.)??

Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It sounds like you would be most comfortable with a smaller, intimate wedding with close friends and family.  Think of the $ you’d save too!  🙂 

Post # 10
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

By Marianne Williamson

Post # 11
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I feel your pain! I’m shy to the point of being paralyzed, so I’m stressing this too. I guess the main thing to remember is how happy you’ll be on that day, and of course you have your Fiance there by your side. Just dance, have fun, and don’t pay attention to everyone looking at you. Besides, they’ll only be looking at you because they’re happy for you, and youre the gorgeous bride!

Post # 13
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If you are still feeling uncomfortable about dancing as the date approaches, practice so that you feel like you know what you are doing and have the DJ/MC invite the wedding party to join you after about a minute. Then you won’t be alone!

Post # 16
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

@ashleetoo:  aww! 🙂

you should watch Akeelah and the Bee. i know it’s a kid’s movie, but you may relate. i do and i watched it as an adult. movie therapy! 

keep in touch and let us know how it goes.

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