- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 2009
I just went to be best wedding ever… and it was my wedding!
Ladies, I can’t tell you how amazing it is, after all the planning, all the stressing, and all the details to just kick back, forget about everything, and dance around like a crazy fool with your new husband. I just wish for all of you that you feel the same way about your wedding as my new husband and I do about ours. It was just a giant lovefest!
Our wedding was the most emotional, beautiful day. I can’t tell you what it’s like to feel the sort of live I felt on that day. As a woman who has suffered from panic attacks my whole adult life, I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my wedding because I would be stricken with anxiety. At the same time, I wanted to feel the entire emotional roller coaster of my wedding and didn’t want to be medicated. So I just tried to keep things in perspective and not worry about everything being perfect, and I let my friends and family help as much as possible. And then, when the big day came, I really felt calm. I did a few things that I think really helped me with my anxiety, and I thought I would share them:
First, I made the conscious decision to stop worrying about details a few days before the wedding. I knew that I had explained all of the details to my vendors and that things would turn out the way that they would turn out. Since my wedding was on Saturday and we started our wedding festivities on Thanksgiving (Thursday), I was surrounded by family members for the days leading up to the wedding, and I didn’t feel like I had time to stress. If I found my mind wandering off to a place of anxiety, I tried to remind myself to be present and in the moment with the family that I was with.
I got ready alone on my wedding day. When I get anxious, I need quiet and alone time. So on the morning of my wedding, I had breakfast with my husband and we took our dog on a long walk. Then, he left to go get ready with the groomsmen, but I got ready alone. I hired a hairstylist who had a very calm presence and wasn’t too chatty and I did my own makeup. I made sure I had tons of time so I wouldn’t feel rushed. And I listened to music I loved while I was getting ready, which kept me feeling uplifted and excited instead of anxious.
I knew I would need alone time with my husband before the ceremony. We both get anxious speaking in front of crowds, so at the last minute, we decided to recite the vows we had written to each other in private before the ceremony. It was so incredibly intimate. We could really listen to the vows and not be afraid of crying. And then when we recited them in front of our friends and family, it was just that much more meaningful, having had said them privately just moments before, now getting to share them with our families.
For the reception, I got some of the best advice from a fellow bee: Break loose with your new husband. And don’t worry about being terrible at dancing. I kept this in mind and had the best time with my husband, family, and friends. Our energy really did pass on to our guests and before we knew it, we had grandmas dancing with 20-somethings and huge groups of people getting down! It was so much fun!
We let the spontaneous things happen, and they were the most perfect moments. My husband’s great uncle asked if he could do some of his stand up comedy act in the middle of the reception. It wasn’t planned at all, but it was HILARIOUS and one of the most perfect moments of our wedding. While dancing the hora, my husband decided to go up the chair, which is a must at a Jewish wedding. I had already told everyone pre-wedding that with my anxiety that there was no way I could handle being lifted up in the chair. But you know what? In that moment, I was feeling fine so I got hoisted up in the chair too! I thought I would have a panic attack, but I actually did it! And afterwards everyone hugged me and it was another perfect, unplanned moment.
Another bit of advice I received: take a moment with your new husband to leave the reception and find a place where you can look into the room, whether it be an entranceway or a window, and look in on all of the people that love you, smiling and dancing. These people love you so much, and they are all so full of joy. Really soak that in. Then, go back inside and celebrate with them.
So to all of my bees who tend to get sensitive, anxious, and are losing sleep about not being able to get past those feelings and enjoy your wedding day… step back, breathe, and make the choices that are right for you. And when it’s all over, dance and cut loose with your new husband!
Thanks bees for all of your love and support during the planning process! I can’t wait to share my pro pics with you! Hugs!