PANIC STATIONS – four days to go and breaking down from the stress

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

What calms me, as much as I find is to busy myself to the point I get tired and get a good nights rest.

If you’re not good at planning and tend to jumble things you need to do in your head until you get stressed out, try writing a list. If you list down EVERYTHING you need to do, you get to the point the whole checklist is written down and you can pawn it off to someone else for a while to deal with it, say a day of coordinator or someone who has helped you plan.

Workouts do help with anxiety. Find some intense cardio workout on the internet and do it before bed, you’ll sleep better that night and help you recover the next day. If you’re not so keen on it then maybe a vinyasa yoga session?

 

Post # 3
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Congratulations! I get married and 4 days as well. Go 4/15/2017! Some level of anxiety will present itself but don’t forget to enjoy the moment. It will be here and gone before you know. As the other poster mentioned, excercise and try to relax. If you aren’t worried about your hair or decor, just focus on the fact that you have found the one! Although he may not be emphathetic just remeber why you are getting married and what about your FH makes you smile.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

As long as you walk down the aisle and marry the right person, at the end of the day your wedding will have been perfect 🙂

Post # 5
Member
7816 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m getting married in a few weeks and feel 100% the same. Your post really resonated with me.

I was talking to one of my best friends about my wedding anxiety the other day, and she told me when she got married, she adopted the motto of “oh well!” She said as stressful as everything was in the months leading up to the wedding, on the actual day of, she woke up and just told herself , “you WILL enjoy this day!” Inevitably things went wrong. Family drama, botched hair, etc. – but anytime something went wrong she just said to herself “oh well!” and carried on, the joy of marrying her husband taking precedence over everything else.

I’m gonna try to do the same thing…I hope it works!

Post # 6
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

tiffanybruiser :  That’s exactly what I did because there were many things I stressed about so much before the wedding (bachelorette party was ruined as a result of the stress) I said screw it, whatever happens I will have a great day because I get to marry the love of my life, and guess what…it’s still the best day of my life 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Ok, breathe! I am an anxious person and I was like you (got married on April 1st!). I felt sick from anxiety and worried the timing, music randomly breaking down, that they’d forget to unlock the venue for the decorators, that everyone would be freaked out by the religious ceremony… etc etc! Just like you. My now-husband was fantastic but didn’t always understand my worries – like in the hour’s gap between ceremony and reception he was like ‘they’re adults, they can figure it out’ and I was like ‘no, we’re making them be there, we have to have something for them to do!’. I want to address a couple of your fears:

The hour-long religious ceremony: Our ceremony wasn’t an hour long but it was very religious, and I was worried people would be uncomfortable. But it was so fine and on the day I didn’t feel awkward at all. People just said how lovely it was. People know that weddings tend to be religious events, and they won’t be taken by surprise. Think about it, if you went to a wedding of a different religion to yours, you would accept and enjoy it, wouldn’t you? In fact all the different traditions could be quite fun? Give your friends the same credit. I recently went to a Catholic mass wedding. I’ve never been to one before and it was 1.25 hours long. It was an interesting new experience and of course no one would dream of leaving during it!!

The sound equipment was another worry of mine, but there’s no reason to think it will break down on this day of all days. It’s probably been tested just that day. And even if it did, someone would figure something out with laptops or portable speakers or something. As for dancing, if the bride and groom start things off and are having a good time, everyone will just follow. They’re adults, they know how to dance and have fun. Don’t worry about other people so much. They’ve been to weddings before. 

Was I stressed on the day? Lol, yes. I felt like I might faint before the ceremony! But then walking down the aisle was so magical, even though I’m an awkward introvert, and during the ceremony I trusted the minister to do his thing. I started stressing again after the ceremony about the time for photos running out, but hey, I would’t be me if I wasn’t stressing about something. And then once we got the the reception and I saw that everything was working, it was brilliant. The guests also don’t see behind the scenes – if something small doesn’t go to plan, they won’t even know. If you don’t have enough cutlery and there was a mad scramble for more in the kitchen, they won’t know about it. 

And remember – most things don’t really matter. Apparently they started playing my processional song too early and faded it out – didn’t matter. My friend was playing the violin and she made a mistake – didn’t matter. The reception aircon wasn’t the best and dancing got pretty hot – didn’t matter. I was inspired by my friend, who arrived at her wedding and walked down the aisle only to realise her family was late and wasn’t there yet. She stayed SO calm and serene, she had chosen to not let anything ruffle her. 

Post # 8
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Give yourself a cutoff time.  Let your Maid/Matron of Honor and your Darling Husband know that you’re at your limit and to help you say NO to stuff.  Know you did your fucking best and YOU can’t control how other people feel (happy, sad, bored etc).  You’ve done so much hard work to plan a wonderful event to celebrate your love and your guests–now the best way to give to your guests is to just enjoy the day.  Have fun.  Roll with the punches.  Dance, even if you’re the only one out on the dance floor.  (I had that moment) and they will come, if only just your Darling Husband and your Maid/Matron of Honor.  They will come.  Our families weren’t great up until the wedding, but the day of, not a single person didn’t help out and make the day as perfect as I could ever hope for.

Also, time heals.  I felt sad about some moments, that one where I was on the dance floor alone.  My mom requested the DJ play Time of Your Life by Greenday (facepalm).  But I stuck it out, and danced by myself, and reminded myself my mom knows I love Greenday and she had good intentions.  And I just saw Greenday 3 days ago in Vegas and it was special because it reminded me of our day.  And Darling Husband was joking with me about putting together an ironic slideshow to Time of Your life for our upcoming anniversary and I thought it was hilarious.

You did good kid!!!

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