- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
First, I am so sorry I am just now getting to write this. Life is a little crazy with a newborn, anyone who tells you differently is lying or has blocked it out of memory 🙂 Secondly, I am sorry but this is going to be long.
To give some background to those who do not follow the July mom thread. At 36 weeks my doctors were concerned that I had pregnancy induced hypertension (high blood pressure) I underwent a bunch of blood tests, multiple non stress tests and several 24 hour urine tests. For those that wonder, getting to collect all of your urine over a 24 hour period and keeping it on ice is about as fun as it sounds – having to do that multiple times, was a complete joy (insert sarcasm here).
I was diagnosed with pre-eclamsia at 37 weeks and after several ultrasounds confirming baby peach was practice breathing, and would do just fine coming a little early the doctors decided to induce me at 37 weeks 4 days. As crazy as it sounds, I was relieved. For one, the only way I would get better was to get her out, and secondly I KNEW my due date, it was officially official. There would be no wondering when she would get here, where my water would break etc. My joy was overshadowed by my overwhelming fear of the induction. I thought Pitocin was evil, and breaking your water is un-natural. I didnt want either of those things yet, here I was having to face them.
Sunday (at 37 weeks 3 days) after our last meal as non parents, DH and I checked into the hospital, where I was checked in and checked out. When they checked my cervix I was already 50% effaced and 2 cm. The doctors agreed that if I had not come in for the induction she would have arrived in the next few days anyway. Baby Peach was ready. I was not suprised as I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions and really intense scratching feeling at my cervix a few days prior. I knew something was going on up there 🙂
That evening they inserted cervidil to help the dilation process. Cervidil looked and felt like (tmi) a dry tampon (OUCH). They tried to get me to take Ambien to sleep that evening knowing I would have a long day ahead of me. I declined (Ambien scares me, I have no idea why. Anyway, that is a topic for another thread)
The following morning (37 weeks 4 days) I was woken up by the nurses at 5:30 (at my request) so that I could take a shower prior to them starting the pitocin. I also asked for an enemia. TMI I KNOW, but I am so glad I did. After my shower, I put on a clean hospital gown and put on my game face, and some eyeliner for good measure. I looked myself in the mirror and gave myself the “you can do this talk” and faced my fears, in the form of a iv bag full of the evil P juice and a crochet hook looking thing that was just waiting to break my water.
I took my time walking to the bed. I knew the next time I got up, I would be a momma. Once I was on the bed they checked me again. I had gotten to 3cm overnight with the cervidil and was more effaced (I think 80%) and they started the Pitocin and you know what -Pitocin is your friend, it isn’t evil. The contractions were ramping up but they were very managable. I even slept! Everything was going great, epidural pfft. I am superwoman. I can handle this.
And then they broke my water.
HOLY CRAP, I mean this with all of my heart. I have never EVER experienced pain like that. The contractions quickly started coming every 30 seconds or so and lasting 40 seconds to eternity. Sometimes I would only get a 5 second break between contractions. They went from feeling like typical period cramps to feeling like my body had become a tube of toothpaste and someone was squeezing me from my boobs down to my thighs. The contractions were hell but the back pain was beyond hell. I can’t explian it, but trust me. It hurts. I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t think, I was making noises I didnt know I could make. It sounded like something between a dying cat and a chipmunk. Between the contractions I could talk, just enough to say GET ME THE EPIDURAL NOW, and then within seconds I would be hunched over in the fetal position churping/howling away again.
Thankfully the epidural came quick. All of my fears of the epidural went out the window. STICK ME WITH THAT BIG NEEDLE ALREADY. Getting the epi was a cakewalk. It felt weird but I never lost all sensation and for that I was very happy. I could wiggle my toes and I could move my legs. I could feel pressure, but NO PAIN.
I slept for an hour or so, until they came in and said that baby Peach wasn’t doing well. She didnt like the contractions. Her heart rate would dip with each one. So I was switched to internal monitoring and was told to shift around in the bed to see if it would help. It didnt really help at all. Baby Peach was stressing out and now momma peach is stressing out. They thought that she could have her cord wrapped around her neck. They assured me that they could handle it if that was the case. I still freaked out. Then baby peach decided to poop because she was stressing out. They were worried about meconium getting into her lungs so the NICU was told to be on standby. Well they would be on standby for a long time.
You see, baby peach was sunny side up. She was coming out head first but face up. (that would explain the back labor) The doctor tried to turn her. They would grab her head and move her and our stubborn girl would move right back to sunny side up. For those that don’t know, when babies are presented sunny side up they dont fit in the birth canal very well, The doctors said its kinda like putting a square peg in a round hole. What makes it extremely difficult is that her head is not presented in a way that keeps her from sliding back up. So for every push I would move her down a little and she would slide right back to where she was. It was one mini step forward, 3 leaps back.
I pushed for over 2.5 hours. Every 2 minutes I had to push for at least 3 counts of 10. Thank goodness I had the enemia early that morning because I felt like I was pushing my guts out. I thought it would never end, they kept telling me “you are so close, you are almost there”, and then I would have to keep on pushing. This went on for what felt like several lifetimes.
and then, in a push I had no idea was the push she was out. I immediately felt a complete emptyness in my stomach. I felt a rush to my head, my eyes fluttered, I breathed deep, my life flashed before my eyes.
I heard her cry and in an instant my life changed forever.
I had a healthy girl, she didnt have a cord around her neck or meconium problems. She was little at only 5lbs 15 ounces but she was perfect and she had become my world in the blink of an eye.
I love her so much. I look at her all the time with wonder, and amazement that she is mine and I am still humbled that I am a mother. I will never take for granted how lucky I am to be a mom and how much I wish everyone who wants to be a mom could. Am I exausted? F YEAH. But I am blessed – blessed beyond measure, and so in love.