Post # 1
Member
35 posts
Newbee
Hi, I’m engaged! And I was wondering about peoples opinions on a paper/court wedding?
So my fiancé is in the navy and for me to get base access (to meet him at the ship after deployments, to live on base, go to deployment meetings, to shop at the commissary etc) I need to be married to him. We already have a wedding date in november (venue, dress, the works) but he wants to go get a paper marriage earlier (so we can move on base) this saves money (its cheaper to live on base in our area) and also they raise his pay.
But will people judge us, say its pointless to have a wedding if we are already married? i dunno its a big decision and i want to see other people view points.
Post # 3
Member
2240 posts
Buzzing bee
Some people will judge you, but because he’s in the military, many people will understand that there are reasons for doing it.
If you and he want to do this, go ahead. People may not like it, but you have to do what you think is best. You certainly wouldn’t be the first couple to have this arrangement.
Post # 4
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
I don’t see why you would discuss it with people, particularly if you were worried about being judged. Get your paperwork completed, and have your wedding when you are able.
Post # 5
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
I see no issue, there are circumstances where a paper wedding is the best option. Things like one if you being sick, military, dealing with different countries, etc. If anyone judges, they would have judged no matter what you did.
Post # 6
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
My parents do this and I’ve found it happens a lot in other countries. A paper wedding, and then a traditional wedding. It just depends on what is important to you. If I ever needed a paper wedding, I would still consider my traditional wedding my official wedding because thats when I make my true commitment vows. It’s all personal
Post # 7
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
We are doing this for health insurance (I was just laid off). I was initially worried what people would think, but then realized if we don’t tell anyone, no one would ever know. We are still having our wedding in August, literally the only difference is our officiant doesn’t need to sign the paper afterwards.
If I was a guest, I’d still be just as happy and excited to attend the wedding, even if I knew the couple had already been legally married. So they signed the paperwork a few months early, who cares? I’d still want to celebrate their marriage!
Post # 8
Member
35 posts
Newbee
Thank you everyone! I guess I was stressed about nothing!